Looking in the rearview mirror....

My drive to work twice a week can be quite an adventure.  I have to travel 3 of the busiest highway and interstate systems in this part of the state.  Quite often I find myself constantly checking my rearview mirror.  From "tailgaters" to 18-wheelers, I try and make myself comfortable with what is behind and around me at all times.  Sometimes I get a little too focused on what is in the mirror as opposed to staying focused on what is front of me.  And it has occurred to me lately that that is exactly my problem in life.   Satan is a sneaky little creature who knows how to throw things up from the past and make us stumble on our forward movements.  This is what I struggle with, some days more than others.  Being reminded of the things of the past and feeling the shame and guilt that was cleaned from my slate when I died to self and invited Christ to live inside of me.  When we confess our sins then God is quick to forgive and forget.  But in our state of minds sometimes, we have a tendency to struggle with shameful decisions and past misjudgements.  I came across this great paragraph this morning in "Journey", a daily devotional magazine:

"Do not swim around in the muck and the mire of condemnation for your sin. If you do, the implication is that Christ's death on the cross was not sufficient for your sins. God knew you would sin, He paid for it, and when you confess it, He has chosen to "forget" it."

And then there is this verse that comes to mind:

Philippians 3:13-14

¹³ Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, ¹⁴ I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. 

 

So as I struggle with the things that Satan wants me to remember and Christ wants me to know I'm forgiven of, I will remember the analogy of looking in my rearview mirror as I drive down the interstate.  Because when I get too focused on what is behind me, then it can have terrible consequences when I don't focus on what is in store for me ahead.  

Hope everyone had a great Easter.  This picture is about the best I could manage with three kids.  The 3 of them would not cooperate all at the same time.  But this will do, I suppose.

Sharing a little Easter love...

This is one Easter outfit. One of.... Ahem. One of many. I'm unashamedly having fun with my little princess.

A challenge for Easter......

The Easter season is upon us once again.  It seems like Christmas is a season all it's own.  The whole month of December is set aside for Christmas and all the festivities it brings.  We celebrate the birth of our Lord and Savior, we give gifts just as the Magi brought gifts to the Christ child, and we decorate our homes inside and out in our own special ways to demonstrate what Christmas means for our families. We even sing songs written just for the Christmas season.

And then there is Easter.  A most Holy of days.  A day that we reflect on Christ's suffering and anguish as He was led to a tree to die for all of mankind.  Maybe that's why we don't decorate, sing happy, special Easter songs, and have parties every other night.  Not in the Christian sense.  We celebrate the Easter bunny, and hide eggs, and sugar our kids up on too much candy.  We decorate with bunnies, eggs, and spring flowers.  While most Christians would be in unanimous agreement--- that the reason we celebrate Easter, which was Christ's suffering, death, and resurrection--- is something that we should celebrate, and be joyous over 365 days a year, 24 hours a day.  Yet Easter time is a little more reverent.  It's when we truly recognize the sake of the call and what it means to be a Christ follower. Many people see January 1 as a day of starting fresh and starting new.  Making resolutions and trying to stick with them.  However, starting fresh in your spiritual walk can also take on a whole new meaning when you take the time to reflect on the happenings of Christ's foretelling of death, and His foretelling becoming reality.  From the Passover feast, to the betrayal by Judas, to the Messiah crying out to his Father to take the cup from his hands--- yet His will be done--- it is an historical event that unfolded in front of many eyewitnesses. Christ literally took the weight of the world from all ETERNITY and bared it upon His shoulders so that WE, His children could be in His holy presence--- to infinity and beyond!

Which, I guess I could sit here and ramble all day about Easter and it's significance.  But I came here really to challenge you.  I had sort of always taken Lent as something only certain religions practiced.  And in a way, it was almost something I sort of joked about.  But I really had my eyes opened to what it means and that you don't have to be Catholic to associate yourself with Lent and fasting.  That it is not a RELIGIOUS journey (after all, aren't we all trying to get to the same place) but more of a personal spiritual journey.  So as I mentioned in an earlier post, I called one of my BFF's and asked her to be an accountability partner to me and to pray for me, and if she felt led, she could join me in the fast if she felt led. My fast, I decided, was from Facebook.  I know it sounds ridiculous, but it was getting ridiculous.  I felt like my smartphone was controlling my life.  Like that's all I ever wanted to do was see what was going on with all 5 hundred something friends that were on my friends list.  And do you know something?  What a burden has been lifted from me without always having that controlling my thoughts.  My spiritual life was really suffering.  I had slacked off in my prayer life and parts of my life were showing that.  I don't even have the slightest desire to really be on Facebook anymore.  Besides the occasional catching up with old friends that I truly don't ever see, then there's nothing there for me. Your life reflects where you priorities are, and I don't want that to be a priority with me.

What a difference a fast has made.  I've focused on the things that God has been desiring from me all along.  So, my BFF who took this "plunge" with me is also the wife of our Sunday School teacher.  Every year he fasts from Good Friday until Easter Sunday afternoon.  He fasts from food and drink.  He has done this for years, and is all the better for it because he does this.  So he challenged each of us Sunday morning to pray about fasting.  Not necessarily from food, but from something that is a distraction in our  walk with God.  Something that will be a challenge for us.  Something that will cause us to seek God's face for strength and for revelation of His Glory.  So, I have been fasting from Facebook, which has been much easier than I anticipated.  I am praying for something much deeper to be revealed that I can challenge myself to fast from for 3 days this weekend.  It would be food, but I am nursing so I have to have the calories from food.  I know that not everyone feels led to fast.  And it's not about us, but about Him.  But if you feel like there is a distraction in your life, then start today by praying that God will lead you to seek Him, and deny yourself so that you can take up your cross and follow Him.

Luke 9:23

 ²³ Then he said to them all: “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me.

"Humility and self-denial are two sides of the same coin.  Jesus' greatest calling for us to deny ourselves came when He stated, 'If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself and take up his cross, and follow Me'. By fasting as unto the Lord we answer His call to deny ourselves for the sake of the cross"--- Lee Bueno

God wants the praise for what we do in our lives.  But if we never pray audacious, courageous prayers, how can He answer them?  If we never follow Him to positions where we need Him, how can He show up and make His presence known"-- Francis Chan from 'Erasing Hell' 

I'm learning about the important things......

I feel this is something that needs to be written and recorded........  And I don't know if Chad would agree or even say that he's noticed a real difference, but he doesn't matter because I still think he needs to agree to letting me have someone come clean our house once a month...... But, I have finally come to terms with the fact that our house, our home, the same home that Chad and I pay for each month, the same home that has OUR names on the deed, has become nothing more than an oversized playhouse for my 3 kids.  Somewhere under all the cars, trucks, trains, blocks, baby gear, crayons, and dirty socks and underwear that I find in random places, lies expensive furniture, matching decor, beautiful keepsakes and pictures, and surfaces that I have not seen in quite some time.  Living in a house with 3 children, two of whom are BOYS----in every aspect----is chaos.  Absolute chaos.  Nothing productive ever gets accomplished.  I can scrub the toilets and within 3 minutes someone announces they have to go poop.  I can scrub the tubs and later in the same afternoon, I have 2 sandy, dirty, muddy boys coming in from playing in the sandbox and running through the mud under their swing set.  The beautiful wood floors I waited patiently for for years until we had the money to put them in are not as practical as I thought they would be.  They stay smudged and dirty 90% of the time.  My living room right this very second is no longer covered with the beautiful, expensive, wool rug I payed GOOD money for a few months ago.  It is currently housing a play mat for Mary Grace and play mat for the boys that they like to  play with their toy cars on.  There is also a huge train table in the living room.  We have four bedrooms, but the only thing my kids use them for is to sleep in.  The rest of the house is fair game to whoever can lay claim to an area first.  Even the couch no longer belongs to us.  The dog seems to have taken over that.  Right now there is also a stack of boxes in the middle of our hallway full of clothes to take to the attic.  They have been there for about 5 or 6 weeks.  For some reason they haven't bothered Chad enough to take the time to place them in the attic.  For some reason, I have become blind to them myself.  Sort of.  They bother me.  But, whatever.  It's just another day in the Miller house.  I have learned not to be so consumed with having a clean house 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.  Let's face it, I will NEVER be June Cleaver.  Not even CLOSE.  She was once someone I idolized in a 50's sitcom, fictional character sort of way.  Now I just consider her my nemesis.  Although I wish she was more of my altar ego. Someone I could become most days.  But I'm just way too tired to even think about keeping my house in order for a couple of hours a day.  Much less every minute of every day.  I work outside of my home because I have to.  But even if I didn't have to, I would NEED to.  Sometimes I need to mentally escape the mess and the toys, and Dora the Explorer, and baby talk.

 I said not too long ago that my favorite part of the day is my children's bedtime.  While that is true in one aspect (because that is my ONLY quiet time of the day), it is also true in another aspect:  After we drink our milk, brush our teeth, and take baths (not necessarily in that order), our whole family piles on our bed and we have a bedtime story (this is a new routine brought to us courtesy of Ethan, who LOVES to read), devotion time and prayer time.  It's usually still chaos, with at least one of the kids still trying to wind down from the day.  But it is the best time of the day.  It is time that I have LEARNED to cherish.  And learning to cherish and treasure the simpler things have not come easy.  It is in my nature to worry about my house being a wreck and the laundry piling up and the dirty dishes in the sink.  But I am doing better.  Much better.  I have found that I am so tired at night (cure for insomnia: have three kids!) that I can still sleep with dirty dishes in the sink and a pile of unfolded laundry (or 2 or 3) in laundry baskets.  (And along with all my housekeeping imperfections, I am not ashamed to admit that I have a mom who is not only a lifesaver by being my children's caretaker during the week, she is also my laundry fairy!!!!!)  But, I have learned that when I wake up in the mornings, those dishes will still be there, and so will the laundry.  But my kids will be grown in a blink, and the same smiles that I wake up to today, will be grown and gone tomorrow.  So, just for the record:  I am learning to adjust to the mess and the chaos that has consumed my house.  There are socks thrown around in random places, toy cars that I stump my toes on DAILY, a pile of laundry that needs to be folded, and smudged floors, but I'm okay with it.  My children are happy.  They don't care that the laundry won't do itself, or that floors are dirty with their footprints.  Those aren't the things they will remember 20 years from now.  So for now, I'm doing okay.  I'm taking this mess one day at a time and learning that the more important things in life are just that:  The important things in life.

But just for the record:  CHAD IF YOU ARE READING THIS, WHICH I KNOW YOU ARE, YOU STILL NEED TO LET ME HAVE SOME HELP ONCE A MONTH.  REMEMBER WHEN SOMEONE CAME A FEW WEEKS AGO AND CLEANED AND I WAS SOOOOOOO HAPPY??????  SO IT IS TRUE THAT MONEY CAN BUY HAPPINESS.  MONEY THAT HIRES SOMEONE TO CLEAN OUR HOUSE.

Too cute for words...

Is this not the cutest thing EVER?! This is her expensive outfit her Daddy bought in Natchez for her this past summer. And she is already about to outgrow it before summer gets here!!!! She's got a closet full of beautiful clothes for the summer that she's probably going to be too big for before she can even wear them. Time to play dress up and take lots of pics!!!!

Dear Kirk Cameron........

So it seems that Kirk Cameron has ruffled quite a few feathers this week. I was eager to see his interview on the Today show Tuesday morning. In between getting kids and myself ready for some morning errands I found myself stunned as I watched him being interviewed. Then I started, very audibly, shouting at the television. It made my blood boil!

Here is the statement that Kirk Cameron is being bashed for: "homosexuality is unnatural, detrimental and ultimately destructive to foundations of civilization", which he said on Piers Morgan Tonight. Here's the problem I have: EVERYONE in the WORLD knows that Kirk is an evangelical Christian. He's starred in the movie "Fireproof", among other Christian-based films, and he and his wife have founded a Christian organization and camp for terminally ill children called Firefly. Kirk never uttered one word about HATING homosexuals. He said it was UNNATURAL. It is DETRIMENTAL. And it is DESTRUCTIVE. To which I unashamedly, wholeheartedly, 110% agree. I am so SICK of the mainstream media blasting over and over again people who try to live the way that God instructs us. In the interview they tried to put words in his mouth that he never even said. Or even tried to insinuate.


Here's another problem I have: Homosexuality, atheism, celebrities who have multi-million dollar weddings and divorce a month later, drug rehab stints, and Jersey Shore stupidity has become the mindset of America. American minds are filled with nothing but TRASH. The things we obsess about and follow on Twitter and read in the trashy entertainment news are beyond my understanding. But when a Hollywood celebrity vocally speaks out that he does not believe that homosexuality is natural, he becomes a hot topic. And not in a good way. As I heard Ann Curry ask him if he was implying that people should HATE gay people my jaw hit the floor. WHAT? Where in the world did she get that from??!! His response was classy and to the point and he didn't even break a sweat. I was screaming at the television in his defense. If only all of Hollywood had just a few of the values that Kirk Cameron has, and stuck by them when under pressure, then maybe America's mind would not be filled with so much junk all the time.

So, Dear Kirk Cameron,

Keep your head up, keep your heart pure, and keep talking the talk, but most importantly walking the walk!!!!!!