We said good-bye to my grandfather on Saturday. We laid his body to rest next to my grandmother's. It still seems surreal. My grandfather, who has been through so much and lived such a full life and had so many trials in his later years, finally took his last breath after running the race, fighting the good fight, and above all else, keeping his faith. We have so many memories to treasure. But a part of me still doesn't feel like it has totally sank in with my heart yet.
I will move on, however, and leave you with some random thoughts:
Yesterday Chad bought a case of Coca-Cola's (just plain Coke's as their known in the south) in those little glass bottles. I forget how good carbonation can taste in glass bottles. It just isn't the same in a metal can or a plastic bottle. They were quite a splurge, but well worth it.
Brennan starts swim lessons soon. We're long overdue, I know, but there hasn't been a place convenient and affordable until now. And it's not that convenient, but it's affordable.
I want a vacation so bad I can't stand it. Even for just a few short days. Even if it's in a town that's any other place but here. I would take a long weekend. Anywhere.
I hate laundry. Yesterday I had to catch up on almost 2 weeks worth since I had not been home for long periods of time since my grandfather was first hospitalized. I thought it would never end. And by the time I had the whites and darks washed, my family had already gone through about 2 sets of clothes EACH by the end of the day. I still haven't completely caught up. Next time I will freaking hire somebody.
Last but not least, I went from running full speed ahead and no time to even catch up on laundry, to having nothing to do. B-O-R-E-D. We are closed this week (our office) for vacation (I think this was the week my boss was hoping to be moving out of our current office into our new location, but it's been delayed for a few weeks) and I have nothing on my agenda after finally settling down from recent weeks. I thought I would enjoy these days of "boredom" but it's too hot to do anything fun outside unless you own a pool (which we don't) and 2 boys cooped up in a house for long stretches of time equals everyone wants to kill each other by the end of the day. Hoping to find something fun to do.
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Friday, May 27, 2011
God's provision.....
My beloved grandfather, Rev. James Maurice Clayton, passed from this life early Wednesday morning, May 25. These days have been a blur, but it has brought family together and we all have a deep peace in knowing that my grandfather is worshiping at the feet of Jesus for all of eternity. I have been overwhelmed in the past few days at hearing stories and verses that so many held dear to their hearts from many years of my grandfather's teachings of the Word.
Going through my grandfather's boxes of pictures and keepsakes, I found many notebooks among his belongings. He always kept a notebook around to write anything from Bible passages, thoughts, to-do list, telephone numbers, and scheduled appointments. This particular notebook was on the bottom of the first of two boxes I was looking through. It was also the only notebook that was opened. I know you can't see the picture very clearly because of the way it is uploaded onto my computer, but it is opened to a page in my grandfather's handwriting titled Heaven. The word "Heaven" is boldly underlined. He then lists over 20 things that will be no more once we arrive on the other side into the arms of Jesus. I clearly knew this was a small gift from our omnipotent, omnipresent God who saw the provisions Maurice Clayton's family would need some years later on a day of heartbreak and grief. This notebook had been stored away for quite sometime. Since 2005. Leafing back through the pages it became even more evident that it was a true gift. The rest of the pages were filled with the things I mentioned previously: phone numbers, doctor's appointments, to-do lists, bank account transactions. But very few notes on religious matters. And out of the hundreds of pages, this one was opened just for me. I thank God for the things that may seem so small to others, yet are clearly a gift of a great magnitude for a reassurance of peace beyond understanding.
Going through my grandfather's boxes of pictures and keepsakes, I found many notebooks among his belongings. He always kept a notebook around to write anything from Bible passages, thoughts, to-do list, telephone numbers, and scheduled appointments. This particular notebook was on the bottom of the first of two boxes I was looking through. It was also the only notebook that was opened. I know you can't see the picture very clearly because of the way it is uploaded onto my computer, but it is opened to a page in my grandfather's handwriting titled Heaven. The word "Heaven" is boldly underlined. He then lists over 20 things that will be no more once we arrive on the other side into the arms of Jesus. I clearly knew this was a small gift from our omnipotent, omnipresent God who saw the provisions Maurice Clayton's family would need some years later on a day of heartbreak and grief. This notebook had been stored away for quite sometime. Since 2005. Leafing back through the pages it became even more evident that it was a true gift. The rest of the pages were filled with the things I mentioned previously: phone numbers, doctor's appointments, to-do lists, bank account transactions. But very few notes on religious matters. And out of the hundreds of pages, this one was opened just for me. I thank God for the things that may seem so small to others, yet are clearly a gift of a great magnitude for a reassurance of peace beyond understanding.
Friday, May 20, 2011
Saying good-bye......
Without a doubt, this has been one of the most emotionally exhausting weeks of my entire life. And therefore I also feel like this has been one of the longest weeks of my entire life. I feel like there is no end to this week, even though it's (supposedly) almost over......
The third week in May is always a big deal. Not only is May 18th our wedding anniversary, but at 1:26 a.m. on the 19th of May, Brennan turns another year older. (Officially anyway.) As if those 2 events aren't enough, it is also the last full week of school for our school district. Woe is me. Then to top it off like icing on a cake (insert much sarcasm) our family has been watching my grandfather's journey on earth come to a slow end. I have cried until I thought I would run out of tears only to somehow muster up another bucket full.
I'm ashamed to say that I had really wanted to make a big deal out of our anniversary this year, but it was put on the back burner. And if it weren't for the sweet man that I'm married to, so would my child's birthday have been less special than it should have been. Thankfully my prince rode in on his proverbial white horse and saved the day. It is one thing to have pregnancy brain, but to have pregnancy brain AND emotional heartbreak is a totally different thing. However, when things settle down and this chapter of our life winds down (hopefully soon) Chad and I do have a weekend getaway waiting on us.
Yesterday was especially hard. We started off going to an award ceremony for Brennan's class. All the children received different awards, and all the class got to vote on who deserved said rewards. Brennan was awarded the class comedian. *sigh* But, I guess I am okay with that. Then his teacher had made a 30 minute slideshow starting from the first day of school up until this week. It left me speechless to realize how fast this year has flown by. I felt like his entire year of 1st grade flew by as fast as the 30 minute slideshow his teacher had made. So, here I was watching my birthday boy "graduate" from 1st grade on his last week of school this year. Two big milestones for one hour of the morning.
I then made my way to the hospital to visit my grandfather. Which is really the reason I came here to blog, I guess. To share about my grandfather. While most of you reading probably don't know him, he was a very special man. I always called him my own Billy Graham. He loved sharing the same birthday as Mr. Graham (although Mr. Graham is a few years older) and he loved to tell the story about getting to meet Mr. Graham on a couple of different occasions. Even though my grandfather was not internationally known to the world, he lived and preached in a very similar fashion to Billy Graham.
My grandfather, Maurice Clayton, was the pastor of Hillcrest Baptist Church in south Jackson, Mississippi for nearly 25 years. Before that he ministered at churches everywhere between Florence, Mississippi to Meridian, to Texas, to many states in between. He was a shepherd to so many up until just a few days ago when he took a terrible fall and hit his head. From then on, he has slowly been fading from us.
My grandfather always had a joke to tell (albeit a CLEAN, Southern Baptist joke) and he loved to tell them over and over. It is now that I wish I could remember some of them and hear him tell each of them just one more time. However I do remember the way he loved to chuckle at his jokes after he would tell them. And it didn't matter how many times he told them, he always acted like it was the first time to tell it.
He was probably one of the best shots around when it came to a slingshot. For a man who loved all of God's creatures he sure didn't show any mercy to some of them when he had a slingshot in his hand. He especially loved to do target practice on squirrels.
Growing up, it was always fun to take my friends in his office at church and hug his neck and get a handful of jelly beans. He always kept a jar of them on one of his many, many book lined shelves. To this day, I can't eat a jelly bean without thinking of the jar in his office.
As a child and a teenager, it would sometimes get old when people would associate me with being Maurice and Mary Clayton's granddaughter. "Oh," they would say,"YOU'RE their granddaughter. They are such special people". I would roll my eyes secretly. Now that I am a grown adult, I gladly associate myself with being their granddaughter. It is something I am proud and honored to tell people. I love to hear people tell me that he baptized or married them. I love to hear stories from others about how special he and my grandmother were to them.
I could go on and on about my grandfather and special things about him. All of us who have had grandparents living for some length of time and have had the privilege of knowing them could share special stories about our beloved grandparents. But for the most part, what I am able to say above all else about my grandfather was, not only did he lead many people to Christ by being a shepherd to them, but he himself has an eternal home in heaven. His journey here is coming to an end, but his life is truly just beginning. God has given him 86 beautiful years to praise His name, bring glory and honor to Him, and to further His kingdom like the faithful servant he has been. One regret I have is that I won't be there when he enters the gates of heaven and not only receives the eternal crown of life, but sees so many that otherwise might not be there had it not been for him being a faithful servant of God and sharing the love of Christ so freely. I wish I could see him lay his many, many crowns at the feet of Jesus Christ Himself as Jesus reaches out and touches my grandfather's head and says, "Well done my good and faithful servant. Well done."
His suffering and pain has been for a purpose. He has endured the many trials of life and has been promised that all his tears and sorrow will be wiped away forever. My family has a peace in knowing that even though we will deeply, deeply miss our beloved Reverend, Daddy, Poppa, Preacher, stepfather, and Unc, his 86 years was a short journey compared to the eternal life he has on the other side of heaven. He came to this earth for a purpose, as all of us are put here for that same purpose. And I can gladly say: "Poppa, your mission has been accomplished, you can let go now and go home."
The third week in May is always a big deal. Not only is May 18th our wedding anniversary, but at 1:26 a.m. on the 19th of May, Brennan turns another year older. (Officially anyway.) As if those 2 events aren't enough, it is also the last full week of school for our school district. Woe is me. Then to top it off like icing on a cake (insert much sarcasm) our family has been watching my grandfather's journey on earth come to a slow end. I have cried until I thought I would run out of tears only to somehow muster up another bucket full.
I'm ashamed to say that I had really wanted to make a big deal out of our anniversary this year, but it was put on the back burner. And if it weren't for the sweet man that I'm married to, so would my child's birthday have been less special than it should have been. Thankfully my prince rode in on his proverbial white horse and saved the day. It is one thing to have pregnancy brain, but to have pregnancy brain AND emotional heartbreak is a totally different thing. However, when things settle down and this chapter of our life winds down (hopefully soon) Chad and I do have a weekend getaway waiting on us.
Yesterday was especially hard. We started off going to an award ceremony for Brennan's class. All the children received different awards, and all the class got to vote on who deserved said rewards. Brennan was awarded the class comedian. *sigh* But, I guess I am okay with that. Then his teacher had made a 30 minute slideshow starting from the first day of school up until this week. It left me speechless to realize how fast this year has flown by. I felt like his entire year of 1st grade flew by as fast as the 30 minute slideshow his teacher had made. So, here I was watching my birthday boy "graduate" from 1st grade on his last week of school this year. Two big milestones for one hour of the morning.
I then made my way to the hospital to visit my grandfather. Which is really the reason I came here to blog, I guess. To share about my grandfather. While most of you reading probably don't know him, he was a very special man. I always called him my own Billy Graham. He loved sharing the same birthday as Mr. Graham (although Mr. Graham is a few years older) and he loved to tell the story about getting to meet Mr. Graham on a couple of different occasions. Even though my grandfather was not internationally known to the world, he lived and preached in a very similar fashion to Billy Graham.
My grandfather, Maurice Clayton, was the pastor of Hillcrest Baptist Church in south Jackson, Mississippi for nearly 25 years. Before that he ministered at churches everywhere between Florence, Mississippi to Meridian, to Texas, to many states in between. He was a shepherd to so many up until just a few days ago when he took a terrible fall and hit his head. From then on, he has slowly been fading from us.
My grandfather always had a joke to tell (albeit a CLEAN, Southern Baptist joke) and he loved to tell them over and over. It is now that I wish I could remember some of them and hear him tell each of them just one more time. However I do remember the way he loved to chuckle at his jokes after he would tell them. And it didn't matter how many times he told them, he always acted like it was the first time to tell it.
He was probably one of the best shots around when it came to a slingshot. For a man who loved all of God's creatures he sure didn't show any mercy to some of them when he had a slingshot in his hand. He especially loved to do target practice on squirrels.
Growing up, it was always fun to take my friends in his office at church and hug his neck and get a handful of jelly beans. He always kept a jar of them on one of his many, many book lined shelves. To this day, I can't eat a jelly bean without thinking of the jar in his office.
As a child and a teenager, it would sometimes get old when people would associate me with being Maurice and Mary Clayton's granddaughter. "Oh," they would say,"YOU'RE their granddaughter. They are such special people". I would roll my eyes secretly. Now that I am a grown adult, I gladly associate myself with being their granddaughter. It is something I am proud and honored to tell people. I love to hear people tell me that he baptized or married them. I love to hear stories from others about how special he and my grandmother were to them.
I could go on and on about my grandfather and special things about him. All of us who have had grandparents living for some length of time and have had the privilege of knowing them could share special stories about our beloved grandparents. But for the most part, what I am able to say above all else about my grandfather was, not only did he lead many people to Christ by being a shepherd to them, but he himself has an eternal home in heaven. His journey here is coming to an end, but his life is truly just beginning. God has given him 86 beautiful years to praise His name, bring glory and honor to Him, and to further His kingdom like the faithful servant he has been. One regret I have is that I won't be there when he enters the gates of heaven and not only receives the eternal crown of life, but sees so many that otherwise might not be there had it not been for him being a faithful servant of God and sharing the love of Christ so freely. I wish I could see him lay his many, many crowns at the feet of Jesus Christ Himself as Jesus reaches out and touches my grandfather's head and says, "Well done my good and faithful servant. Well done."
His suffering and pain has been for a purpose. He has endured the many trials of life and has been promised that all his tears and sorrow will be wiped away forever. My family has a peace in knowing that even though we will deeply, deeply miss our beloved Reverend, Daddy, Poppa, Preacher, stepfather, and Unc, his 86 years was a short journey compared to the eternal life he has on the other side of heaven. He came to this earth for a purpose, as all of us are put here for that same purpose. And I can gladly say: "Poppa, your mission has been accomplished, you can let go now and go home."
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Book reviews....
I love, love, love reading books. When I don't have a good book to read I get very antsy-- so I'm always looking for something good to pick up and read. Watching television is hard for me to do these days--- even with a DVR, and I always need something to help me wind down at night.
Here are a few I've read in the past few months:
Here are a few I've read in the past few months:
I just finished this one by Jodi Picoult. I am a HUGE Picoult fan and have read almost everything she has written. This book was definitely one of her best yet. I left this book in our hotel room when we went to Memphis a few weekends ago. My mom bought it for me at Wal-Mart for $12. I was using a doctor's receipt as my bookmark (lesson learned) so I wanted my book back so no one would be tempted to pass around personal info. A $12 book cost us $35 via FedEx. Another lesson learned.
This book is centered around a teenager with autism (Asperger's Syndrome-- which is a more functional level of autism) and how he is obsessed with forensic science and recreating crime scenes and crashing police crime scenes. Then he gets caught up in his own REAL drama by being accused of murder. Good, easy read.
So, this one isn't really a book that you sit down a read per se. But it is a study about King David. It's meant to be a 10 week study, but the group of girls I am doing this with and myself have a hard time meeting weekly. So we try to meet every 2 weeks. It is very in-depth and there are 5 days in each week that you spend doing the devotion part of it. The devotions take between 30 and 45 minutes each. I love studying about King David and I love the way Beth Moore puts all things into perspective. If you have never done a Beth Moore study, this one is excellent. But any of her studies are excellent. Beth Moore is an awesome teacher on all things Biblical.
I've said it before and I'll say it again. And again and again. LOVE this man. This book confirmed my love and admiration for him even more. What a grounded, HONEST, loyal hero to America and her history. I love that he makes no apologies for anything he did and stood up for. He also makes no apologies for being a follower of Christ. We need a House and a Senate full of men AND women of integrity like him.
I had bought his wife's book and read it last fall. I must admit, her book was boring. She is very detailed about EVERYTHING. To the point it just got plain, well, boring. I was about 2 chapters from finishing it and I never picked it back up. Then I lost a little respect for her after I saw an interview of her telling how she was pro-choice and pro-same sex marriage.
I had bought his wife's book and read it last fall. I must admit, her book was boring. She is very detailed about EVERYTHING. To the point it just got plain, well, boring. I was about 2 chapters from finishing it and I never picked it back up. Then I lost a little respect for her after I saw an interview of her telling how she was pro-choice and pro-same sex marriage.
If you NEVER read another book so long as you live, you MUST read this one. My jaw was on the floor the ENTIRE time I read this (which it only took me about 2 hours). I must admit, I am always a little skeptical (okay-- A LOT) about things like this. (In case you haven't heard about this book, it's about a 4 year old who claims to have had an outer body experience during emergency surgery and takes a trip to Heaven. He describes in unbelievable detail the things he saw and the people he encountered and an uncanny description of Jesus. Things that are recorded in the Bible, including the book of Revelation, but that he had not been told in his 4 short years.) Even if he never physically left his body and just had an incredible dream, it is still the power of God at work. God has used the supernatural AND dreams to reveal himself and His Son to people. The little boy, Colton, was even able to tell about seeing his parents and describe in detail where they were in the hospital and what they were doing the moments he was in surgery. I was in awe while reading this book and still am. Believer or not, this book is powerful. I have never had such a huge amount of peace like I did at 11:00 last night when I finished this book. I was overcome with a peace like nothing else. I believe that even 2,000 years after the crucifixion and resurrection of our Savior, that He still reveals Himself to us in profound, supernatural ways--- just like He did all throughout the Bible.
READ IT!!!!!
READ IT!!!!!
Friday, May 13, 2011
20 Things....
20 Random facts about yours truly:
#1. I love soggy cereal. It's better after it loses it's crunch.
#2. Every bone in my body is nostalgic. Which might be one reason I love Elvis so much. If I believed in reincarnation I would think that I had once been a housewife in pearls and high heels in 1940's or 50's suburban life. But, I don't believe in that kind of stuff. However, I do love things from that era. People seemed to have so much more class and it was before everyone in this world seemed to go off the deep end. Simpler times for sure.
#3. I DREAD turning 30. I mean, like people dread having a root canal or giving birth with no drugs. I am going to go into hiding that week. And if I do come out for reasons unknown, I will be wearing all black.
#4. I ran a marathon in 2007 and a half-marathon in 2008. I HATED every last second of it. The only reason I stuck with the training is because I wanted to socialize with all my new friends. That is the ONLY reason it became tolerable for me. I hate any form of exercise. And I use HATE in every sense of the word. Loathe might be even better.
#5. Sweating is very painful and traumatic for me. Yet I would live somewhere like Nicaragua or Honduras in an instant if I could be a missionary. Which, I guess I could be a missionary, but my husband and children might miss me. Or they may not.
#6. I love to collect and read books. Everyone brags on their Kindle, and I know it's great, but give me a book in hand any day over an electronic device.
#7. I am the whitest white girl you will ever meet. And by that, I mean, I don't believe in frying my skin just to have a tan. I can tan, I just choose not to. There was a day in time that I would pay big bucks to lie in a tanning bed and cook my skin. Then I realized how ridiculous that was. You may need sunglasses if I ever wear shorts (which is rarely) but hopefully my skin will thank me in about 30 years.
#8. I love my job. And I mean all aspects of it. I guess I should say I love dentistry. But I also love my job as in I love who I work for and the people I work with. And our patients are awesome. I wanted to go to dental school a few years ago, but then babies happened and quite frankly, I'm glad I don't have the pressure of owning a business and dealing with some of the lu-lu's out there. That would probably cause me to hate the profession.
#9. Lipstick is my favorite accessory. I know it's not an accessory for real, but bright pink lips could be considered one. The pinker the better.
#10. I will spend $5 on a good cup of coffee and not give it a second thought, but will think twice before paying over $10 for clothing.
#11. I love my Toyota Camry. It has 226,784 miles on it right now and she still runs great. I will never own a better car.
#12. I will scrub a toilet before I dust. I hate to dust. It's such a waste of my time.
#13. My fuse is short and when my fuse has been lit, I mouth off before I have a chance to cool down. It's a weakness. But, when you tick me off it can get pretty bad. I try to get better as I get older, but it's only getting worse. Pray for me.
#14. I love Cherry cokes from Sonic. But what's even better is a cold Coke in a glass bottle. Carbonated drinks are another weakness of mine.
#15. So is chocolate.
#16. I don't like other people's kids. I don't care how cute they are. Sometimes I don't even like my own.
#17. I can clean pee, poop, and boogers up all day long. But puke is something I can't handle. It will start a chain reaction.
#18. I am a plain and simple person. I don't dress over the top and I don't wear a lot of jewelry. My wedding ring, and a pair of earrings are the only essentials for a normal outfit. If I'm feeling adventurous, I'll wear my watch and a necklace.
#19. My biggest fear is losing one of my children. Sometimes I get crippled by that fear. Just thinking about the possibility. Again, it's a weakness because it really distracts me sometimes.
#20. I have never been on a diet in my life and I don't ever intend to diet. The closest I came was after I had Brennan and drank a Slim Fast for lunch every day. But that didn't really count because I didn't change anything else about my eating habits.
And there are 20 random facts about me. If you have a blog, tag you're it.
#1. I love soggy cereal. It's better after it loses it's crunch.
#2. Every bone in my body is nostalgic. Which might be one reason I love Elvis so much. If I believed in reincarnation I would think that I had once been a housewife in pearls and high heels in 1940's or 50's suburban life. But, I don't believe in that kind of stuff. However, I do love things from that era. People seemed to have so much more class and it was before everyone in this world seemed to go off the deep end. Simpler times for sure.
#3. I DREAD turning 30. I mean, like people dread having a root canal or giving birth with no drugs. I am going to go into hiding that week. And if I do come out for reasons unknown, I will be wearing all black.
#4. I ran a marathon in 2007 and a half-marathon in 2008. I HATED every last second of it. The only reason I stuck with the training is because I wanted to socialize with all my new friends. That is the ONLY reason it became tolerable for me. I hate any form of exercise. And I use HATE in every sense of the word. Loathe might be even better.
#5. Sweating is very painful and traumatic for me. Yet I would live somewhere like Nicaragua or Honduras in an instant if I could be a missionary. Which, I guess I could be a missionary, but my husband and children might miss me. Or they may not.
#6. I love to collect and read books. Everyone brags on their Kindle, and I know it's great, but give me a book in hand any day over an electronic device.
#7. I am the whitest white girl you will ever meet. And by that, I mean, I don't believe in frying my skin just to have a tan. I can tan, I just choose not to. There was a day in time that I would pay big bucks to lie in a tanning bed and cook my skin. Then I realized how ridiculous that was. You may need sunglasses if I ever wear shorts (which is rarely) but hopefully my skin will thank me in about 30 years.
#8. I love my job. And I mean all aspects of it. I guess I should say I love dentistry. But I also love my job as in I love who I work for and the people I work with. And our patients are awesome. I wanted to go to dental school a few years ago, but then babies happened and quite frankly, I'm glad I don't have the pressure of owning a business and dealing with some of the lu-lu's out there. That would probably cause me to hate the profession.
#9. Lipstick is my favorite accessory. I know it's not an accessory for real, but bright pink lips could be considered one. The pinker the better.
#10. I will spend $5 on a good cup of coffee and not give it a second thought, but will think twice before paying over $10 for clothing.
#11. I love my Toyota Camry. It has 226,784 miles on it right now and she still runs great. I will never own a better car.
#12. I will scrub a toilet before I dust. I hate to dust. It's such a waste of my time.
#13. My fuse is short and when my fuse has been lit, I mouth off before I have a chance to cool down. It's a weakness. But, when you tick me off it can get pretty bad. I try to get better as I get older, but it's only getting worse. Pray for me.
#14. I love Cherry cokes from Sonic. But what's even better is a cold Coke in a glass bottle. Carbonated drinks are another weakness of mine.
#15. So is chocolate.
#16. I don't like other people's kids. I don't care how cute they are. Sometimes I don't even like my own.
#17. I can clean pee, poop, and boogers up all day long. But puke is something I can't handle. It will start a chain reaction.
#18. I am a plain and simple person. I don't dress over the top and I don't wear a lot of jewelry. My wedding ring, and a pair of earrings are the only essentials for a normal outfit. If I'm feeling adventurous, I'll wear my watch and a necklace.
#19. My biggest fear is losing one of my children. Sometimes I get crippled by that fear. Just thinking about the possibility. Again, it's a weakness because it really distracts me sometimes.
#20. I have never been on a diet in my life and I don't ever intend to diet. The closest I came was after I had Brennan and drank a Slim Fast for lunch every day. But that didn't really count because I didn't change anything else about my eating habits.
And there are 20 random facts about me. If you have a blog, tag you're it.
Sunday, May 8, 2011
Happy Mother's Day......
Mother's Day gets better and better with each year my children grow. The older I get, the more I truly appreciate WHY we celebrate Mother's Day and WHY it's such an HONOR to not only celebrate it, but to show appreciation to all the mother's who make sacrifices big and small all around the world.
In 1997 my family lost our biggest jewel. My grandmother, Mary Louise Rice Clayton, went to heaven to spend eternity worshiping at the feet our Savior and to lay her many crowns at His feet. To lose such a lady as her on a day like Mother's Day was a very bittersweet feeling. The older I get, the more I am convinced that it was a testimony of her life and one of those things that God used in our lives for those of us who were left behind to be able to remember how special she was and what a lasting legacy she was able to leave for generations to come. It was hard for my mother for many, many years and it still is very hard for her to get her spirit into celebrating Mother's Day. My grandmother suffered with several different ailments and illnesses in the years before she finally breathed her last breath that Mother's Day. As a teenager who loved and adored my grandmother more than words could ever say, it was hard to understand and watch such a vibrant, God-filled woman suffer so. Even when her mind became so bad that some days she couldn't remember those closest to her and she would begin to hallucinate, she could still quote scripture like nobody's business. She died at the very young age of 70. And of all the years she suffered, and of all the days that God could have chosen to bring her home--- 365 in one year..... He chose Mother's Day. I find that to be a true honor and a good way to remember her being called home.
After her passing, Proverbs 31 became her life verse. I love reading those verses, because it not only describes just what kind of person my grandmother was, but it describes the kind of woman I hope to become. God's still working on me.
So, happy Mother's Day to my mother, even though this day is so hard on her. But sometimes we have to remember the legacy she left behind and the hundreds of people my grandmother touched through her's and my grandfather's ministry. (Or should I say, the hundreds of people God touched using them as His instruments.) My mom, too, will leave a legacy behind for her grandchildren and their children. She has made many sacrifices for not only my brothers and me as we grew up, but she continues to do the exact same for my children. For that I will never be able to show enough thanks.
Happy Mother's Day to all you mother's out there.
In 1997 my family lost our biggest jewel. My grandmother, Mary Louise Rice Clayton, went to heaven to spend eternity worshiping at the feet our Savior and to lay her many crowns at His feet. To lose such a lady as her on a day like Mother's Day was a very bittersweet feeling. The older I get, the more I am convinced that it was a testimony of her life and one of those things that God used in our lives for those of us who were left behind to be able to remember how special she was and what a lasting legacy she was able to leave for generations to come. It was hard for my mother for many, many years and it still is very hard for her to get her spirit into celebrating Mother's Day. My grandmother suffered with several different ailments and illnesses in the years before she finally breathed her last breath that Mother's Day. As a teenager who loved and adored my grandmother more than words could ever say, it was hard to understand and watch such a vibrant, God-filled woman suffer so. Even when her mind became so bad that some days she couldn't remember those closest to her and she would begin to hallucinate, she could still quote scripture like nobody's business. She died at the very young age of 70. And of all the years she suffered, and of all the days that God could have chosen to bring her home--- 365 in one year..... He chose Mother's Day. I find that to be a true honor and a good way to remember her being called home.
After her passing, Proverbs 31 became her life verse. I love reading those verses, because it not only describes just what kind of person my grandmother was, but it describes the kind of woman I hope to become. God's still working on me.
So, happy Mother's Day to my mother, even though this day is so hard on her. But sometimes we have to remember the legacy she left behind and the hundreds of people my grandmother touched through her's and my grandfather's ministry. (Or should I say, the hundreds of people God touched using them as His instruments.) My mom, too, will leave a legacy behind for her grandchildren and their children. She has made many sacrifices for not only my brothers and me as we grew up, but she continues to do the exact same for my children. For that I will never be able to show enough thanks.
Happy Mother's Day to all you mother's out there.
This is the lady I am striving to be. I'm still a work in progress. We miss you, Grandmomma, every day:
Proverbs 31:10-31
She is worth far more than rubies.
11 Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.
12 She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.
13 She selects wool and flax
and works with eager hands.
14 She is like the merchant ships,
bringing her food from afar.
15 She gets up while it is still night;
she provides food for her family
and portions for her female servants.
16 She considers a field and buys it;
out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
17 She sets about her work vigorously;
her arms are strong for her tasks.
18 She sees that her trading is profitable,
and her lamp does not go out at night.
19 In her hand she holds the distaff
and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
20 She opens her arms to the poor
and extends her hands to the needy.
21 When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
22 She makes coverings for her bed;
she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
23 Her husband is respected at the city gate,
where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
24 She makes linen garments and sells them,
and supplies the merchants with sashes.
25 She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.
26 She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
27 She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
29 “Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all.”
30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
31 Honor her for all that her hands have done,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.
Proverbs 31:10-31
Epilogue: The Wife of Noble Character
10 [a]A wife of noble character who can find?She is worth far more than rubies.
11 Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.
12 She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.
13 She selects wool and flax
and works with eager hands.
14 She is like the merchant ships,
bringing her food from afar.
15 She gets up while it is still night;
she provides food for her family
and portions for her female servants.
16 She considers a field and buys it;
out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
17 She sets about her work vigorously;
her arms are strong for her tasks.
18 She sees that her trading is profitable,
and her lamp does not go out at night.
19 In her hand she holds the distaff
and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
20 She opens her arms to the poor
and extends her hands to the needy.
21 When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
22 She makes coverings for her bed;
she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
23 Her husband is respected at the city gate,
where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
24 She makes linen garments and sells them,
and supplies the merchants with sashes.
25 She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.
26 She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
27 She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
29 “Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all.”
30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
31 Honor her for all that her hands have done,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.
Friday, May 6, 2011
Revelation 21:4
4 ‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’[a] or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.”
It's been another one of those weeks. A roller coaster of all sorts of emotions. So many hurting and so many brokenhearted. So many crushed in spirit.
The week started off well enough with the death of bin Laden. While I do not celebrate the death of any human being---God's creation---- Osama (or Usama as some spell it) had 10 years to show remorse and repent of the evil he stirred and orchestrated. While it was not up to us to judge his actions, he gave America a huge black eye in the name of pure evil. When I heard about the press conference on Sunday night and that Obama had some big news, I, like the rest of America wondered what had happened now. I never imagined it would be the news that it was. It brought back so many emotions from 9/11. All of us will always remember what we were doing at the exact moment the planes hit the towers and just as well, all of us will remember what we were doing the exact moment we heard the words, "Osama has been killed."
I have no shameful regrets that I was a George W. supporter every moment he was in office. I still am. I adore him. He believed America had a mission and although it took 10 years to accomplish, it was accomplished. I just wish America could have heard W. utter the words that bin Laden was history. As I tried getting some sleep after hearing the news, my heart was pounding and I kept thinking again and again how very proud I was for being and American at that moment and how very proud I was of our military and all the sacrifices they had made for many, many years. And will still continue to make. The words to Toby Keith's song kept replaying in my head all Sunday night. One of the best lines to such a great song:
Justice will be served
And the battle will rage
This big dog will fight
When you rattle his cage
And you'll be sorry that you messed with
The U.S. of A.
'cause we'll put a boot in your a**
It's the American way
And justice, my friends, was definitely served. It took us 10 years, but we certainly put our boot where it belonged.............
But as much as victory was being exclaimed all across the nation, life was still being lived all over America. Not only were tornado victims still trying to pick up the pieces, but all up and down the mighty Mississippi river, people were trying to prepare themselves for a lot of losses and a lot of heartbreak. Watching the news is devastating. They interviewed one senior citizen today who had lived in her house in Satartia, Ms for 35 years. She was moving out for good. She was told that after the flood took over, only her rooftop would be visible, and that the water would not likely recede completely out of her home until mid-July. What a hard blow that must be. A house that is paid for. A home that you have made for so many years. Knowing you are having to say good-bye and cut the loss. They interviewed farmers near Memphis who had already lost their farms due to the floods when the Army Corps of Engineers decided to purposely flood the land. Both farmers choked up when referring the their loss.
Last night my mom called me to tell me that my middle brother, who lives on the Ms Gulf Coast, had called to tell her that one of his closest friends had just been told that his 9 week old baby had stopped breathing at daycare and passed away. This morning my brother called again to say that this same couple who lost their infant yesterday was now rushing their 2 year old via helicopter to Mobile, Alabama because she woke up extremely sick this morning and it didn't seem to look very good. I have not stopped crying for this family. Maybe it's a combination of all the sorrow and grief and sadness that this nation in general and this world in general has been facing.
Everything that is happening has been predicted. It has all been foretold. For this couple in particular dealing with the death of their baby and now a deathly sick toddler, I can't answer why God would allow something like this to happen. Personally, as a child of God, I would definitely be angry with God. It's part of my human nature. But I do know that regardless of how angry I would become, I would still find some sort of peace in knowing that God is GOOD all the time. He is Sovereign. He is all knowing. He doesn't get weak or weary like we do. He doesn't get tired of hearing our pleas and our prayers. He calls for us to do just that. So, I urge all of you to please, not only pray for these about to be devastated by the remnants of all the nasty weather we've had over the past few months, but pray for this family who is crushed in spirit. Brokenhearted and in great despair. We have been promised that God will never leave us nor forsake us. And we have been promised the crown of life after enduring life here on earth. And we have also been promised that God works for the GOOD of those who love Him because He is a GOOD God.
Romans 8:28
28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who[a] have been called according to his purpose.
Isaiah 41:10
10 So do not fear, for I am with you;
do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
Psalm 147:3
3 He heals the brokenhearted
and binds up their wounds.
Sunday, May 1, 2011
I will praise You in this storm....
Grief, misery, heartache, and desperation are words that probably don't even touch the tip of the iceberg as to what people are feeling after the devastation of this week. I watch the news and see the pictures from the violent, powerful storms that left such a wide path of devastation and destruction and I cannot even BEGIN to fathom what these people who have experienced such a magnitude of loss are feeling.
Tuesday night I woke up from a dead sleep (which is very rare for me to sleep SO soundly) at 3 a.m. to the sound of violent winds outside the house. It sounded much like I imagine a tornado would. Especially when you are sound asleep and shoot straight up in the bed in confusion and panic and the big, tall trees outside are bending like little immature twigs on a young tree. Then the sirens are going off, the television isn't working, and the internet is down, and we are one of the few who have yet to invest in a weather radio. To have such a desperation of trying to figure out just what is going on in the pitch black dark is enough to make anyone come close to a panic attack. Which I just about did.
Then it blew over (quite literally) in about 10 minutes. The winds died down, the rain slowed, and my heart was about to beat out of my chest. Then I was irritated that my sound sleep (which I will say again, NEVER happens for me) was interrupted and I couldn't go back to sleep.
Wednesday afternoon the same thing happened. At the EXACT moment I put Ethan down for a nap, and I was ready for a nap myself. The sirens were going off, hail the size of golf balls were falling from the sky, and it was pitch black outside. My phone was constantly chiming from concerned family members as to what was going on here at home and I was just plain irritated that I couldn't lie down and do what I wanted to do most: SLEEP.
Let me tell you how fast my attitude changed. In just a matter of hours we started hearing news reports of damage in north Mississippi. Then we started hearing about lives lost. Then whole towns wiped off the map. Then it moved to Alabama where the path of destruction seemed to widen even more. Neighborhoods, towns, and lives obliterated. Gone. People missing. Lives forever changed. Boy, did I feel really foolish complaining about the few hours of sleep I had missed.
What did I have to complain about? My house was still standing. My children and my entire family and all of my friends were still accounted for.
Tuesday night I woke up from a dead sleep (which is very rare for me to sleep SO soundly) at 3 a.m. to the sound of violent winds outside the house. It sounded much like I imagine a tornado would. Especially when you are sound asleep and shoot straight up in the bed in confusion and panic and the big, tall trees outside are bending like little immature twigs on a young tree. Then the sirens are going off, the television isn't working, and the internet is down, and we are one of the few who have yet to invest in a weather radio. To have such a desperation of trying to figure out just what is going on in the pitch black dark is enough to make anyone come close to a panic attack. Which I just about did.
Then it blew over (quite literally) in about 10 minutes. The winds died down, the rain slowed, and my heart was about to beat out of my chest. Then I was irritated that my sound sleep (which I will say again, NEVER happens for me) was interrupted and I couldn't go back to sleep.
Wednesday afternoon the same thing happened. At the EXACT moment I put Ethan down for a nap, and I was ready for a nap myself. The sirens were going off, hail the size of golf balls were falling from the sky, and it was pitch black outside. My phone was constantly chiming from concerned family members as to what was going on here at home and I was just plain irritated that I couldn't lie down and do what I wanted to do most: SLEEP.
Let me tell you how fast my attitude changed. In just a matter of hours we started hearing news reports of damage in north Mississippi. Then we started hearing about lives lost. Then whole towns wiped off the map. Then it moved to Alabama where the path of destruction seemed to widen even more. Neighborhoods, towns, and lives obliterated. Gone. People missing. Lives forever changed. Boy, did I feel really foolish complaining about the few hours of sleep I had missed.
What did I have to complain about? My house was still standing. My children and my entire family and all of my friends were still accounted for.
In Alabama.....
Alabama....
Smithville, Mississippi. The whole town wiped off the map in 10 seconds flat.
It's been nearly 6 years since Katrina came through and destroyed so much. People are still trying to get back on their feet after that storm so many years ago. Katrina was bad. Really bad. But Katrina gave us days of warning. People who chose to do so were able to pack up their belongings and get the heck out of dodge. While many of us in the south knew the potential these storms had, these tornadoes didn't give us much warning to pack up our precious pictures of our children being born, our children graduating from high school and college, our deceased mother's wedding ring, our great grandmother's scrapbook of old pictures...... many PEOPLE didn't even make it out. Much less have time to gather up precious mementos of a life full of treasured memories and history.
Today I was reminded by my (almost) 7 year old how ridiculous I can behave. After church, I went through the drive-thru at McDonald's to get the boys a Happy Meal. I also ordered and extra order of fries. After I paid for my meal (including the fries) and got my food, as I was trying to drive out of the parking lot and had 2 kids squabbling at me about whatever came to mind, I realized too late that the fries I had paid for had been forgotten. At that exact moment I was also talking to Chad on the phone and told them the "idiots" at McDonald's had forgotten the fries I had paid for, but I wasn't turning around and going all the way back. After I got off the phone, not only did Brennan tell me that I would not go to heaven if I kept calling the employees at McDonald's idiots, but that it wasn't nice at all to call people names. Yes, that humbled me a lot! Then I was struck like a bolt of lightning hit me that I was acting totally childish about $1.50. What was wrong with me? I was going home to a HOUSE that was still standing and didn't even have something as simple as roof damage from the storms that came through this week. I had food in my cabinet and refrigerator. A closet full of clothes. And I was not sifting through soggy pieces of wood and debris trying to find what little was left of my belongings. It made me want to weep for being so ridiculous. Does that mean that my hormonal fits of rage or irritation are over? No. I'm still pregnant. And I probably won't have any friends left after this pregnancy. But it does mean that I will shut up and be humbled when God speaks to me like He did today over $1.50 of fries being forgotten in my bag of greasy food.
I heard this song this morning and was reminded again of God's goodness in the midst of what we consider tragedies. This has recently become a favorite of mine. If you have an iTunes account, I highly recommend you download it and listen to it DAILY.
It's called "Blessings" by Laura Story.
We pray for blessings
We pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
All the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things
Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise
We pray for wisdom
Your voice to hear
And we cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt Your goodness, we doubt Your love
As if every promise from Your Word is not enough
All the while, You hear each desperate plea
And long that we'd have faith to believe
Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
And what if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise
When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win
We know the pain reminds this heart
That this is not, this is not our home,
It's not our home
Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
And what if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
What if my greatest disappointments
Or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can’t satisfy
And what if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are Your mercies in disguise
And another song by Chris Tomlin called "God of this City". It reminds us that God is STILL in control and He is still the God of this city.... ALL cities.... and greater things are yet to come, and greater things are still to be done in this city.......
And above all else..... for each individual picking up the pieces of life after the tragedies of these storms, one simple verse reminds us that God still has plans. This was Brennan's first verse to ever memorize at 4 years of age:
Jeremiah 29:11-12
11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.
And on a lighter note..... Brennan had his front tooth just HANGING loose for days. He wouldn't let me touch it. But my friend, Angela, talked him into letting her pull it after church this morning. He told me she didn't hurt him like I did! He is very proud of being a snaggle tooth!!!
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