It's time.....

I don't make New Years resolutions. Let's face it, none of us ever keep them longer than a month. However, on January 1 I'm doing the Daniel Fast again--- a modified version.  I did the fast last Easter and felt wonderful shedding all the toxins from the junk I fed myself. Not only did I prove to myself that I could accomplish a goal, but I learned about the different things we eat that damage our body. 

This summer I started taking medicine and it caused me to gain 20 pounds. I stopped taking the medicine, did not shed the weight, and over the past holiday months I have added an additional 5 pounds. I'm not proud of that. I'm not confident in myself and I'm very, VERY self conscious. I don't feel comfortable in any of my clothes. I'm not comfortable in my own skin. 

Long story short, I am really ready to grab the reigns and take control of my self-indulgent habits before it completely takes control of me. I've never had much of  a weight problem and I don't want to start after 32 years. 

Furthermore, I need to learn to fully rely on Jesus. For everything. My weak moments and even my strong moments. Weak or strong, I'm nothing without him. And I need to fully appreciate that for everything that it's worth. 

And also, I'm once again taking a break from the Internet. I did during Easter and a few times in the past couple of years. And that in itself is freeing. It's amazing how much crap can accumulate in one's brain. And how it really can affect someone's mental health! So much negativity and useless information. 

So, I'm ready for this. Ready to just free myself up and feed my body AND my mind a whole new diet. 

Hope everyone has a blessed and prosperous new year! 

P.S. I will still be blogging. As always, it's been a faithful, reliable place to come for all of my adventures. 

Rewind

Just life in pictures from the past month. Slow down, life!!!! Please!

Sound off ........

Okay. This whole DD thing is getting worn out AND wearing ME out. My Fb page is nothing BUT Phil Robertson and the DD clan. As if they weren't seen enough already everywhere we went. 

Now. Don't get me wrong. In the beginning I was a HUGE fan. Back before A&E started scripting them entirely too much and it just became another ridiculous reality show. And granted, I still love the Robertson family and LOVE what they stand for and the values they have brought back to national television. In a world where we (we, as in traditional family units) thirst and hunger to know that we are not alone in trying to obey God's holy word and His commandments. Our world no longer defines right and wrong in a clear black and white line. It's all become blurred and this nation is imploding in on itself because we no longer hold the values that we once did 20, 50, and 100 years ago. 

But here's my view: Phil said what he said. I stand behind him 110%. It was biblical. However, to those who think Phil was being a "homophobic", hate monger, think again! 

I'm a mom in a society that's blurred these lines. Times are tough. And I don't mean economically. I mean spiritually. I believe the bible is 100% God-breathed, God-inspired, and it is the same yesterday, today, and always. And just because my views on homosexuality may not jive with our society, does not mean I teach my children to hate ANYONE. Why? I'll tell you.....

I'm a thief, a liar, a drunkard, an adulterer, a murderer, envious, covetous, and I'm a really bad mom. How can I be ALL those things and still walk amongst you? Because I'm a sinner. Whether I've committed those sins for the world to see, or just plain THOUGHT them, I'm guilty as charged. I'm in need of a Savior. And so are you. And you. And you. Oh, and you over there too. 

I would NEVER teach my kids to hate ANYONE. Actually, I teach them quite the opposite. To love ANYONE. And everyone. Regardless of their offenses. Because we have them and commit them too. And only ONE came to die for all of us.  

And in the end...... He's the only one who matters. He created all of us. Even with our Grinch-like, full of evil hearts and minds. We are His children. What you do with your life, and I with mine, only have to answer to one in the end. And at the end of MY journey, I hope to hear my Savior say "well done, thy good and faithful servant" because I'm just another typical soccer mom trying to raise my kids to love like Jesus and teach them to give their hearts over to those who really need to see His love. 

Sheronda

Say hello to our newest family member, Sheronda the Honda. After 5 weeks of seeking out a vehicle that suited our taste and budget, we found her. And we knew it was right from the moment we laid eyes on her. Chad didn't even get a good test drive in before we signed on the dotted line. (I did though..... I drove it for 2 days). It's truly the nicest vehicle we've ever owned. We are so thankful! We are still battling with the insurance company of the guy that hit me, but thankfully I have a few connections in the law department. Even though we are still trying to settle, we can finally be at peace for the rest of the Christmas season without having to worry about car shopping. 

So, I hope Sheronda the Honda will be as faithful as our other vehicles...... Like our Camry. That has 260,000 miles and (knock on wood) is still going strong! 

Christmas and parties..... Like pb&j.....

I love Christmas. And I love parties. When you combine them both....... It's just a magical combination! 😄😜

Yes, it's a selfie. Chad thinks I'm ridiculous. But I had just mastered a sock bun, even though you can't see it in this picture.  That's pretty epic. I'm limited in my ability to do anything but wash, dry, and straighten my hair. 

Dearest Santa

Dearest Santa.....

If you're reading this, then that means you're real. And you exist. And you bring presents to good boys and girls. And if you're real and reading this, you know I have been a very, VERY good girl....... And I don't ever ask for much. Really. I don't. Just the usual--- you know, that my kids turn out right and don't spend their entire adult lives in therapy.... And that our bills get paid on time and that we  always have a meal to eat when necessary. You know, just that sort of stuff. 

But I'm begging you..... I'm pleading with you...... I'm on my hands and knees with tears steaming down..... I really, REALLY need a new car. Not want. Need. I need for the insurance company to settle its claim with me and give me my money after totaling my van and I'm ready to find a van that I can afford and rely upon.... For at least 10 years, or until the wheels fall off.  Whichever comes first.....

Please Santa. In the words of Eartha Kitt.....@Santa Baby, been awful good girl. So hurry down the chimney tonight!"

Self worth

I struggle with self esteem. Self worth. Self everything. I didn't ask to be this way. I don't want to be this way. I hate every aspect of being this way. 

This summer, I gained nearly 20 pounds from some medicine I was put on. Twenty pounds in a 6 week period. I have yet to shed the weight. And I have yet to shed the darkness that consumes me with this issue. 

In high school I tried to gain weight by eating a bag of Doritos and a Snickers bar and washing down it with a Coke for breakfast every morning. I couldn't even donate blood, I weighed so little. And now...... I'm 40 pounds heavier and if I thought I had self esteem issues then....... (I didn't date in high school..... No guy wanted anything to do with my insecure, shy, nerdy self......).... Well, my issues are even bigger now. I've proudly given birth to 3 beautiful children.  My body has changed. But my thoughts towards myself haven't. I struggle. It's a sin. I know. But my body screams loudly that I have had multiple children. 

Coming from someone who's never had a weight problem, well, this is a big deal. I don't like it. I know it doesn't measure my self worth. Or my beauty before my Creator. But I struggle. I'm proud of the babies I've brought forth. I wouldn't trade it for all the riches of this world..... But my flesh..... It struggles. 

So remember.... All you Mamas out there......God created you. He breathed you into life. He loves you. And He ordained you into being you AND the mother of beautiful children. No matter how much your body changes, you are worthy. Very worthy. God calls mothers as one of the highest beings on earth. Don't take it lightly. 

As for me........ I'll continue to remind myself of that......it's a struggle......

Update..... Sort of.....

I know it seems like all I do is post pictures on my blog these days. But life has been crazy. So very crazy. And it's been good, bad, and ugly. But mainly good. Wonderful in fact. When I get a few minutes to myself (who am I kidding?! I can't even pee alone!) I will update without a bunch of pictures. But for now...... Enjoy a little slice of our life...... In pictures......

The Ag Museum.... One of our favorite places to go. 

  Rare  date night for the 2 of us. Chad surprised me with tickets to a local shopping event. 

MG's 2nd birthday party. Pretty as a peacock. 

My boss turned 55. Or, as he said, the "double nickle". I had a friend do these signs to hang up all over the office and we had sort of a surprise party for him. Love him!!!!

Our Santa pics....

My ELVIS tree!!!!!

My family over for Thanksgiving!

Is she not an angel baby?! (You better say yes!)

A wreck, Halloween, and a little random

This is how my day started off yesterday...... In a PARKING LOT.  A teenager wasn't paying attention and plowed into me. It was horrible. My van was already totaled after the hailstorm. Now it's not worth taking it out to pasture and shooting. Soooo.... For now, we wait and see how insurance will handle it. If the other guy's insurance refuses to pay out a whole lot, car shopping we will go. That may be exciting to most people. Me? Notsomuch. We haven't had a car payment in over 8 years. I was shooting for at least 10. I'm not ready. But I know God will provide. Sigh. Never a dull moment. Never, never, never. 

Meanwhile........ Happy Halloween! We went trick-or-treating last night due to inclement weather tonight. 

If you're wondering what Brennan is, he's a preacher. Yes. A preacher. He came up with that all on his own! 

Tuesday night we had a pizza picnic and watched "It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown!"

And finally.... Some random pics of random happenings in our crazy, beautiful, wonderful family life. 

My grandfather and Brennan-- twinkies

My first 5k in 6 years, and Chad's first EVER.