Random thoughts that annoy me......

#1) Real vs. Pretend: Why is it that my almost 9 month old has so many toys scattered all over the house, yet he is drawn to the things he KNOWS he isn't supposed to have? For instance--Cell phones. We have about 4 cell phones that are either no longer in use or play cell phones that look like the real thing, and we have my BlackBerry that, as far as Ethan is concerned, does the exact same thing as the play cell phones (lights up and makes noise), yet there is something about that BlackBerry that keeps him entertained for quite awhile. Same thing with remote controls. The real looks just like the play remote, yet there is something about the real remote control that keeps him entertained. Magazines vs. books. He has books that are chewable and almost edible for him, yet he chooses to shred my magazines and coupons to pieces and eat them.

#2) Germs: I really hate germs. The other day I was in Kroger doing some shopping. I had both boys with me (it was a momentary lapse of judgment on my part) and I had a woman stop me to comment on how handsome my boys were. But then she also continued on with how CLEAN they were. Then she thanked me for keeping them so clean. I wasn't sure what this was all about, however, I was very pleased that someone noticed I like CLEAN. I don't like germs on me and I don't like them on my boys. I think I might have already created a monster out of my five year old. I absolutely cannot STAND people wearing shoes on my carpet. Most of the time I make my guests take my shoes off before they come in. That's usually only with family. Although, for the people I don't make take off their shoes, Brennan always informs the guests that no one is allowed to wear their shoes in the house. It drives Chad nuts because almost every shoe I own is in the garage. I take them off as I go inside. Brennan does the same thing most of the time. Same goes with dishwashers and washing dishes. I do not look down on anyone who washes dishes. But I will tell you, I will be hesitant to eat off of dishes I know have not been cleaned in a dishwasher. I WISH I could bring myself to washing more dishes, but I just can't. Even with my own family, I cannot hand wash our dishes and eat off of them without getting a little grossed out.

#3) America: I love my country and I am so glad to have the freedom that I have and I am very proud to call myself an American. However, it sickens me to see what kind of shape we have gotten ourselves into. Everything from same-sex marriage, to pro-choice, to the government bailouts, to our messed up welfare system, to taking prayers out of school and God out of government. I don't care what anyone says, the more we take religion and God out of our country, the worse off we become. America IS the land of the free, but values are no longer black and white in this country. It is a total gray area. I do not like our president, however I have learned to accept that he is now our commander-in-chief, and I must pray that he will do what is right for this country. If the leader of our country fails, then we as a nation fail.

#4) Karma: This is something I do not believe in, and I just don't get this concept. There are good people all over this world, and bad things still happen to good people. Just like good things happen to bad people. I DO, however, believe, that MOST of the time your actions will catch up with you. When you play with fire, you most likely are going to get burned. I have personally learned that the hard way.

#5) Reality television: Okay, I admit. I'm a sucker for a few of the reality shows. "Wife Swap" being one of them. On the other hand I cannot get over how much of American life and the media is controlled by reality television. Let's start with this season's "American Idol". I have not watched that show in about 3 years. But, I have learned you don't have to watch it, to know what's going on with the show. It's everywhere. So what's up with this controversy over Adam and Kris? If one weren't so flamboyant and the other weren't so involved in his church, there would be no controversy. Who cares? Hasn't everyone learned after 8 seasons, that they will BOTH walk away with a record deal? I'm tired of hearing about it. Jon and Kate Plus 8: Whatever made them think it would be a good idea to live life 24/7 in the spotlight with all the chaos in their house anyway? Pull the plug on the show and let America get back to dealing with their own family issues. Those poor kids didn't ask for all that confusion. The Ms. America pageant: Why is it such controversy when someone still believes in traditional marriage? Get over it people and move on.

More updates....

Well, here I am with not much to blog about, yet a lot on my mind.

Ethan is growing as fast as a weed, and as much as I love to see him grow and learn, it deeply saddens me. Brennan learned to walk by 10 months. I thought Ethan would be my lazy child and walk around 12 months. Suddenly within the past couple of weeks Ethan woke up one morning and decided he would crawl. A few days later he woke up and decided he would pull up and stand. I have a feeling he might beat Brennan's 10 month walking milestone. With Brennan's first day of kindergarten inching closer and closer it just makes me sadder and sadder. Not only will my oldest be starting school (it doesn't help that he's NEVER been to daycare or 4 year old kindergarten), but Ethan will soon be talking and walking, and all grown up, too.

As I watch Ethan grow and watch his personality really develop, I find it so amusing how different my boys are. When Brennan was around 9 months he was so calm and very passive. Nothing really bothered him. We NEVER had to baby-proof anything in our house because Brennan never got into anything. He sort- of minded his own business. The only baby-proofing we did was putting those plastic things in the electrical sockets. That's it. Well, that and we DID put a gate in between our living room and kitchen just to keep him contained.

With Ethan it's a whole different ballgame. We are about to have to baby-proof EVERYTHING. He's already almost destroyed one of our plants, he's broken one of my glass candle-holders, he's pulled things over on him (including ANOTHER plant that he hasn't tried to eat yet), he eats paper and magazines he finds lying in inconspicuous places, and he loves to try and pull open drawers. Just today alone, I lost count on how many times I have had to "finger-sweep" his mouth. And I keep a close eye on him. He also wants to be where all the action is. If someone leaves the room, and this person had been giving their attention to Ethan within the previous 5 minutes, Ethan screams and lets you know he did not appreciate being "abandoned". He has personality for days. Brennan does too, but in a different way. Brennan has always been able to go off and entertain himself in a corner somewhere. He has a very vivid imagination. Ethan demands attention 24/7. I haven't quite figured out if this has anything to do with my work schedule. When Brennan was small I worked 5 days a week and he was always formula fed-- I never nursed. I only work 2 days now and I nursed Ethan. I'm sure it plays some sort of role in the way Ethan expects to be treated.

I love both my boys, and they so love each other. But they are definitely two very different people. I can tell already. I just wish they didn't grow up quite so fast. I still haven't figured out how it's possible for time to fly by as quickly as it does.

On another note, Chad had to take off work to keep the boys on Tuesday. My mom, who is my normal caregiver while I'm at work, was out of town. When I came home Tuesday, I was deeply amused at Chad's state of mind. I don't think Chad has really ever taken for granted what I do around the house and the time I spend with the boys, but I think staying at home one day for Chad was enough to make him haul it back to work and not think twice. And he didn't even have to cook supper!!!

Not the deviled eggs....

Today we went to my grandmother's house for a small, casual cookout. Yes, we all have those members of our family that we question what branch of the family tree they sprouted from. But you know you have to love them anyway, after all, somehow they are genetically kin to you.

So, Chad and I arrived as usual and had just sat down to socialize with the previously mentioned family members-- when out of nowhere-- cuss words and screaming filled the air. I wanted to duck and cover because I wasn't sure who was saying what and if objects were going to start flying through the air at a high rate of speed. You see, my dad's side of the family seems to be WAY outspoken and they'll pretty much say whatever is on their mind, no matter who it offends. But, instead of doing it tactfully, they seem to want to get their point across the first time-- by being just downright rude and inconsiderate. My aunt starts screaming at her niece about her cell phone and the fact that all she does is text and answer her calls while others are trying to talk and have dinner. Well, the problem with that was, we were not even at the dinner table yet. Everyone was pretty much doing their own thing at that point.

Long story short, my aunt became so furious that she decided to leave and not come back. Words I hadn't heard in a LONG time were flying around the room. I had the urge to cover Brennan's ears. So anyway, when my aunt decided to leave she took the dang deviled eggs, too. AND the potato salad. Come on, did we all have to be punished?! I just wanted ONE egg.

Family. Got to love 'em. I mean, life would be so boring if we didn't have family, right?

Lots of things going on around here. I'm not quite sure what to blog about. However there IS one thing I would like to share. Read the Hallway blog-- on the right--they have received some fabulous news. Although they still aren't through dealing with the illness by a long stretch, they did receive some very promising information yesterday. I think there was a prayer chain stretched across the entire southeast this week that was praying for them. It was great to be reminded of the power of prayer.

This morning I had a small meltdown. I don't know exactly why. I was watching the news while Chad was getting ready for work, and they were interviewing a local principal at a Jackson elementary school, and they were just talking about the last day of school and summer vacation. When, out of nowhere, it hit me. Brennan will be starting kindergarten in LESS than 3 months. Less than 3 months. It broke my heart. I just started crying with this realization. Chad thought I was being ridiculous, but I couldn't stop thinking about sending my son out into the world-- without me. Not only that, but where have the past five years of his life gone? It seems like just this past year I was pregnant with him and then he was this tiny, little, happy baby. Now he's all grown up. I know, I need to learn to let go. And I will. I just have to get over this shock of how soon school will be starting. So after I got a little upset, I reminded Chad how much better it will be with me being out of the country on Brennan's first day of school. Otherwise I'm going to need some medication.

Change of subject: I donated blood last night. After a couple of bad experiences, I decided that I would never donate again. But then, I kept thinking about Xavian and all the transfusions he's had. It made me realize that giving blood is very important for those of us who are able and willing. I wasn't sure about the willing part, but I was able. So, I pushed myself to go last night. It was actually a not-so-bad experience. I was able to donate it for Xavian. Although my blood won't be directly given to him without doctor's orders, he will be given a credit at the hospital to replace what he uses. I felt like, as indirectly and small as it was, that I was doing my part to help. I can't be in Birmingham to help Matt and Cassie, as much as I wish I could, but whatever I can do here to feel like I'm helping, it makes me feel a little better. My heart is always wanting to help others.

Busy weekend.....

This weekend is OVER!!!!! Which also means Brennan's birthday party is OVER. I started stressing about the weather Friday and stressed until 5:30 p.m. on Saturday (when the party was supposed to end!) Prayer works. The minute his party was set to end, the bottom fell out. Brennan was also in his first choir program Sunday. He did great. So, today is our 7th anniversary, and tomorrow is Brennan's 5th birthday. Time flies by WAY too fast!!!! Some pictures from the past few days.....













Our annual trip to the zoo. Yes, I have learned to embrace my blinding white legs. I'm sorry if you can't accept that.



Happy boy!!!!





Brennan and his first choir program Sunday night. He did great!



Brennan got stung by a red wasp at his party. So sad!!!!



Yummy!!!



Brennan's "cake".



Chad wanted to take a before pic while I was still smiling-- before the party. There is no after, because I was STILL smiling. The rain held off!!!!!

Also, I ate lunch at Keifer's for the first time EVER in my life today at lunch, and I was a little disappointed. The food was good, but it wasn't what I had hoped for. All these years people have built an image in my head, and it was a little disappointing.... I would go back, but there are certainly other restaurants I would choose first.

Proper etiquette....

I'm just curious. All this new technology.... What is proper technology/facebook/texting etiquette? For example, when someone sends an instant message via Facebook, how do you end the conversation when you're ready to end it? Do you say proper good-byes, or do you just log-off? I feel the need to always end the conversation properly, however, I have had friends to just log-off without warning. I personally don't like instant messaging, therefore others are usually the ones who instigate it, so I feel they should say a proper farewell before falling out of cyberspace.

And texting-- how much is to much response? I always need to get the last word in, but then I feel saddened when I don't get a response. I don't know why that is. They should offer a class on etiquette and technology. I'm confused.

I am trying not to panic. The day with the most chance of rain and thunderstorms is Saturday. We will have a ridiculous amount of kids and adults packed like sardines, tearing our house to shreds, if it rains Saturday afternoon. Chad and I have been married for seven years. Brennan has been on this earth going on five. Every weekend we have celebrated our birthday/anniversary (they are one day apart) it has been beautiful, sunny weather. From the day we got married, until THIS YEAR. The one year I decide to be brave and have an outdoors party. I mean, what a glutton for punishment I am......

This weekend was a busy one. So busy, in fact, that our yard seems to be the only one in the entire neighborhood that looks a little neglected....(Yes, Chad, I know you are reading this.)

Saturday my friend Missy and I had a rummage sale at our church to raise money to go to Nicaragua. We made $500 total which is actually good considering the junk that was in the sale AND considering we started practically giving stuff away the last hour or so, so we wouldn't have to figure out where to haul it off to. We plan on having another rummage sale in June, but this time we plan on having a lot more stuff. I forget how entertaining garage/rummage sales can be. I actually had a great time doing it, and Missy and I were laughing at the things people got excited about buying. It was hilarious. You know what they say: "One man's trash is another man's treasure." True, so true.

Saturday when I got home, my Mother's Day present was already in progress. Chad was sweeping and mopping the bathroom floors. I do think he felt like he had been working some serious manual labor, and than in itself is a Mother's Day present like no other. Now he sees a little of what I deal with on a daily basis. Especially since he was home with Brennan and Ethan all by himself Saturday morning. Then Saturday night, Chad cooked steak on the grill and we had my mom over for her Mother's Day happy.

A couple of the pictures above are from Sunday morning. We had Ethan dedicated at church, along with about twelve other babies who have been born the past year at our church. After church we had Chad's family over to cook hamburgers and then I got to spend the rest of my Mother's Day--you guessed it-- studying for my FINAL final. However, seeing as how it WAS Mother's Day, and I AM a self-admitted "milker" (and by that I mean, any chance I get to take a "day off", I will do everything in my power to come as close to a day off as I can get-- although mom's NEVER get a true vacation) I talked Chad into going to church with the boys Sunday evening so I could study in peace. I wish I could have used that time just to take those long, hot baths I once had the luxury of, but I didn't-- however tempting it may have been.

So last night, I took my last final. It was a challenge. I have an A for my final grades in Sociology and A&P Lab, but I was one point away from going down to a B in A&P Lecture. So, if I did not ace the test last night (which I know I did NOT), I have a B in one class. But, I have decided I am okay with that. I have had so much going on in my life, that I am not going to sweat a B, and I will not let it consume me. I justify it because I am a mother, a wife, I work, I have had to deal with my identity being stolen, I've been active in church, I volunteer my time to others, and well, I HAVE A LIFE. I have really had to talk myself into settling for a B, as you can tell. But, I am truly okay with it now. Ten years ago, I would have been overjoyed having a B and would not have thought twice about it. I definitely put more pressure on myself as an adult, and knowing that education DOES NOT come free.

Anyway, Brennan's birthday party is this weekend. Rain is in the forecast all week, including Saturday. I am praying for nice weather Saturday afternoon. It can be windy, it can be cloudy, it can even be warm, but PLEASE don't let it rain on us Saturday!!!! I am a glutton for punishment. I knew better than to have my son's birthday party at our house OUTSIDE. If it rains, we will have 10 five-year old's cooped up in our not-so-big house. I will think positive.....

Life and other things....

Wow, life has been a little hectic the past few days. I'm finally finishing up with school. (Hallelujah.) Originally I wanted to finish all my prerequisites by December, but I have realized what a burden it can be taking all those classes and trying to deal with two small children who are both home all day. (My children are not burdens, the classes are.) Not to mention this has been such a tragic year for so many people I know. And all of them have been so young or ARE so young dealing with issues I don't know how I would ever face. I feel like I should be in no rush to finish something I have plenty of time for later, when my children are older and in school. My number one priority is my family. I have come to realize these are the days I will never get back.

After Rebekah passed away 2 weeks ago, we had another tragedy to hit our church family: Two teenage boys who had been trying to involve themselves in our church, were killed in a car accident Sunday afternoon. It's been a very emotional few weeks for several in our church family. Also, Monday when I arrived at work, my boss was in the process of canceling most of our patients for that morning. He was planning to attend a funeral for a son of one of his old dentist friends/classmate. The son was 18 years old and a perfect student at the honors college at State and ultimately fell over with cardiac arrest. Such an unexpected tragedy. It really puts a perspective on how short life can be and how you really should live each day like it's your last. All of this has really opened my eyes to so many different things.

On a brighter note-- Ethan has just started crawling. He's still getting the hang of it. By the end of this week he will be a lean, mean, crawling machine. The same day he started crawling, he also started to try pulling up. That may take awhile. In the process of pulling up, he usually sees something else to distract him from the task at hand, so he becomes preoccupied with whatever it is that has caught his eye. He also loves to clap his hands. Sometimes he gets so tickled at himself clapping. Also, Brennan will be having a birthday party next weekend. I am excited, yet so sad. I can't believe five years of his life have passed already. The day he starts kindergarten, I will be in Nicaragua. Some might say that is wrong as a mother, but trust me, it's best for us all that way. Otherwise I will be a total disaster his first day of school.

Disease running rampant......

I hope that I don't sound insensitive. Forgive me, for I may be the first case of swine--excuse me-- H1N1 flu-- in the state of Mississippi, but I do not understand the mass media's response to this new outbreak of disease. First and foremost, the fact that Joe Biden is taking time away from his appointed duties as vice-president to warn us to stay away from airplanes and subways (yes, I saw it with my own eyes, and heard it with my own ears) somewhat appalls me. How can anyone justify the panic that the media is wanting us to feel? Am I the only one who is a little more concerned with the seasonal flu? I just cannot understand reasoning behind the panic of this newly renamed disease. There are 141 confirmed cases in the entire United States of America. How many people actually live in these great United States? Another thing that really seems to bother me about this: They keep comparing it to the "1918 Pandemic". HELLO???? Come on, 1918 vs. 2009. Enough said. I, personally, have better things to worry about.