It's been a wild and crazy ride.........

What a year, what a year , WHAT A YEAR!!!!! I feel like this year was put on warp speed and went by faster than real time. Like one of those clips you see on television of a tree growing and blooming over a period of months and months, but it shows it happening in 30 seconds or less. I think I might have whiplash from how fast 2011 went. Granted it felt like I would be pregnant for the rest of my frickin' life. But now Mary Grace is a full 8 weeks (this coming Monday) and December 31 is 2 days away. What a ride, 2011. But I'm glad that soon this year will be riding off into the sunset to never be seen again!

When everyone rang in the new year of 2011 with rain, thunder, and tornadoes (oh my!), I knew that it was going to be a warning for things to come. Not that I am superstitious like that. But, I do believe that God shows us His power and gives us hints for things to come if we would just listen up when He tries to communicate with us.

So it was a very stormy spring, which turned into a very dry, HOT summer. My family lost my grandfather on May 25 after we watched his life fade away for 2 very painful weeks. I loved that man so much that words don't even describe. In the couple of years though, I had not been visiting him like I should have been and I do have that regret I live with. He had been so forgiving over and over in a situation that had torn our family apart. And it irritated me to no end. But my grandfather was certainly a man of unbelievable character, loyalty, and integrity. As the saying goes: they just don't make 'em like that anymore. With him, what you saw was exactly what you got. He was very similar to Billy Graham in his mannerisms and preaching style. There was certainly a joyous homecoming when he entered the gates of heaven--- so many in heaven who might not otherwise have been there if it weren't for my grandfather allowing God to use him for 86 years. He was still preaching right up until he took that last fall 2 weeks before his death.

Of course this year has been crazy for many other reasons. We changed locations at my place of employment, which was a great decision, but it was chaotic at times. Of course, my pregnancy caused me a lot of fits, and a lot pain-- physically, and there were some emotional moments, too. But, I won't recap all of that. It's over and I have a very beautiful, healthy baby girl who was born on my grandfather's birthday and named after my grandmother.

There was certainly a lot of tragedy this year. Everywhere. Close at home and all over the world. We had friends who lost parents, friends who lost friends, very sick babies, and then there were the natural disasters that happened everywhere. But instead of continuing to relive the sad things, there are some great things that I learned this year.

I learned that true friendship is priceless. And I have had many friends who were truly there for me, and in turn I have been there for them. I have had a lot of good cries and a lot of good laughs. And my friends MUST be true friends to stick around after all the whining and feeling sorry for myself that I have done this year. My friends took great care of me through my grandfather's illness and death and then again after I had the baby. I didn't have to worry about a meal for a month after Mary Grace was born. (By the way, I am so behind on my thank-you notes....)

I learned that after my 3rd trip to Graceland, that no matter how much I make that trip, I can never get enough of Elvis. The more I go, the more I love.........

I have learned that the transition from 1 to 2 kids was a piece of cake! Two to three kids, WHOA BABY! Sometimes I feel like screaming at the top of my lungs.... Something to the tune of "Stop this ride I want to get off!!!" Even though I wouldn't trade a single thing, I also learned that I don't want anymore kids unless they come potty trained and fully trained with the ability to clean up after themselves.

I have learned as the older my boys get, that God truly has a sense of humor and he's not afraid to use it. Boys are gross, disgusting, and stinky, but underneath all that, they are still tenderhearted, sweet, and can still show so much love. And yes, they drive me BONKERS. I will be the first to admit that. Some days I get tired of hearing my own voice from fussing at them all day, but I wouldn't trade them for a thing.

I have learned that my husband is a sucker. And I mean that in the best way possible. Having a little girl of his own has completely ruined that man! And financially too. Okay not totally ruined him financially, but she's not old enough to boss him around him yet..... Once that starts you may as well stick a fork in him. 'Cause he will be DONE!

I have learned that no matter how many times I say that I am going to get organized, I fail. I hate disorganization and clutter, yet I cannot seem to get my stuff in order. I am the organization queen at work, yet my van, my closet and most hidden parts of my house (i.e., drawer, cabinets, my fridge, and other closets) prove otherwise. Most people who are unorganized are still able to tell you where everything is. That is not true for me. I put things back in a different spot every single time. But again--- at work, I can tell you where every single thing is and it better not get moved from that spot. I wonder if they make medication for that?

I have learned that you can never take too many pictures. Thanks to technology it's so easy to snap pictures from our phones. Kids grow up too fast and people come and go in our lives. And then some leave this earth--sometimes a little too soon. So be sure and take pictures-- document everything. Even those moments that drive you crazy-- like your 7 or 8 month old totally trashing the Tupperware cabinet (not that mine was ever organized.) Or when little brother dives in the tub with big brother totally clothed--- shoes and all. (Ethan did that when he was about a year old because we wouldn't put him in the bath with Brennan.)

I have learned that I truly love mission work. My heart ached when I couldn't go to Nicaragua this year and I had several good cries. I hope that I can come up with the nearly $15oo it costs to go this year. I love everything about that one week trip we make every summer.

And I have learned that I truly love my job. Not the only the one inside my home, but my part-time job. I love dentistry and I love my boss, my coworkers, and my patients. We went through a lot of changes at our office this year, and I truly saw the value of having a great job and working for someone I have nothing but respect for. My boss is a great employer and nothing is different about him outside of the office. It is a real blessing to be able to look forward to going to work. (Although, it could have something to do with feeling like I'm going on vacation when I'm away from the house for a day.......)

So, 2011 has wrapped up for the most part. I make no resolutions because I never keep them. They're a waste of time and energy. Last year I said I wanted to get organized. Yeah, right. Then life happened. And it keeps happening. This entire post has taken me over 3 hours to finish...... Life. Although, I could stand to shed the 20+ pounds I can't shed after the baby..... but my body is just showing the signs of bringing life into this world. Three of them. The damage done to my body is not pretty, but my babies are the most beautiful gift God has given Chad and me.

And I'll leave you with lyrics to a favorite song of mine and Chad's. I think I posted this last year, but this song is so sweet and true! It's on one of our Christmas cd's and we got a lot of listening out of this particular song as we drove around looking at Christmas lights and going to other Christmas activities this year:

If it weren't for kids have you ever thought
There wouldn't be no Santa Clause
But, look what the stork just brought
Thank God for Kids

We'd all live in a quiet house
Without Big Bird or a Mickey Mouse
And Kool-aid on the couch
Thank God for Kids

Thank God for kids there's magic for a while
A special kind of sunshine in a smile
Do you ever stop to think? or wonder why?
The nearest thing to Heaven is a child

Daddy how does this thing fly?
A hundred other where's and why's
You really don't know but we try
Thank God for Kids

When you look down in those trustin' eyes
That look to you, you realize
Its love that you can't buy
Thank God for Kids

Thank God for there's magic for a while
A special kind of sunshine in a smile
Do you ever stop to think? or wonder why?
The nearest thing to Heaven is a child

When you get down on your knees tonight
To thank the Lord for his guiding light
And pray they turn out right
Thank God for Kids

Thank God for Kids

Christmas 2011

This has definitely been the best Christmas for our family so far! We have had so much this year and the kids (even Brennan) still see it as a magical time. I am so sad to see another year come to an end.

We took the kids to Canton to see all the lights on Christmas Eve EVE. They had a lot of fun!

My three boys!

Ethan is so funny! He wanted in this picture, so he appeared in the corner of it. He did it on purpose. He's going to be that kid in school that doesn't say much, but when he does, he is going to have everyone rolling on the floor with laughter.

Don't you love, love, love her Christmas hat?

Getting ready to feed the reindeer on Christmas Eve!

Leaving Santa cookies and milk. It just wouldn't be proper here in the South unless you left him some milk in a red Dixie cup!

This is what Mary Grace was doing while Santa was putting presents under the tree.

Brennan got an official Red Ryder bb gun! (And safety glasses in his stocking so he won't shoot his eye out!) He also got a bow and arrow. My boy is growing way TOO fast! Santa had a hard time figuring out what he wanted this year. But, he got exactly what he wanted.

Decorating the cake for Jesus' birthday!

Chad's two princesses.

My brothers and their favorite sister! My youngest brother is officially home from the Marine Corps for good! Great Christmas present to our family!

Their Christmas present from my parents. A surprise to ALL of us!

Some cute ones!

She looks a little angry in her one month snapshot, but I think she might have been just taking a poop. Or trying to take a poop. Something she is very good at.

Showing off her leg warmer, YES, leg warmers. I could just eat her up!

This is Mary Grace's debut onstage performance. I couldn't get a good picture because I have a cheap camera and I was in the back of the sanctuary running back and forth getting her to where she needed to be.

The girl holding her (Valerie) and the guy on the left (Matt) are (real life) brother and sister. The night of this play, their dad was rushed to the hospital in critical condition with his heart. He passed away less than 24 hours later. Such a sweet family. Please keep them in your prayers this Christmas season.

At our Sunday School Christmas party. Ronnie is giving Angela a hard time. (Imagine that.) Our S.S. is shaded in all sorts of college football colors (so to speak). Ronnie and his wife, Kim, are die hard 'Bama fans while Angela and her husband, Jamie are die-hard LSU fans. Then you have The Miller's (us) who are Ole Miss, and then there's Kelly and Adam who are State fans. Anyway, Ronnie was giving Angela a hard time for wearing "Crimson". Although it looks more red to me....

Angela and Jamie.

Kelly and me. Love this lady. I don't know what I'd do without her in my life!

Awwww.... So cute, Jamie.

Ronnie and Kim.

Adam and Kelly.

Ronnie opening his Dirty Santa gift. It's the gift that just won't die!!!

Very ummmmm.... festive????.... wise men.......

Chad had this gift stolen. It was an awesome knife.

Merry Christmas!!!!

Coulda, woulda, SHOULDA??!!

So today, I saw on Facebook that a friend I first met in Anatomy and Physiology I back in 2009 is now graduating from the nursing program at Hinds. It's hard to believe it's been almost 3 years since we sat in that class on Monday nights nervous about going back to school for the first time in years and later nervous about all the exams we had to take. Of course, I decided not to go back to school after that semester not because my grades were bad or anything like that. But because at the time I was a young mother to two young kids and was living a very busy life. I didn't want school to consume me while my children were growing up. Plus I had (and still have) a job that I love and work for a person I genuinely adore, so I didn't see any reason to quit just to go back to nursing school full time. And I even decided this after I tortured myself by retaking the ACT twice. Do you know how intimidating it is for a mom in her late 20's to sit in a classroom full of high school students for hours at a time?!

And here we are 3 years later. Sherry is now officially a nurse and I am still a mom and part-time dental assistant. Part of me has reservations about why I allowed myself to "give up" after only one semester of prerequisites. But then I still am able to hear a voice telling me that I am exactly where I need to be in my life right now. I work a couple of days a week at a job I love for a boss I love and with coworkers I love. I don't get paid a nurse's salary, but it's certainly not about the money. I am watching my children grow and not having to worry about the stress of studying for stressful exams. But then there's that still nagging doubt. I keep reminding myself that my kids will one day be in school all day and then gone, so I just need to enjoy the BLESSING of being able to be at home with them while I still can. School will still be there, right?! I do feel a passion about becoming a nurse. And each time I've been in the hospital having my babies, I had such a great experience with the nurses that it sort of lit that fire in me about doing exactly what they do.

But for now, I will continue to do what I do, and have few regrets......

Random thoughts and a Merry Christmas....

I went to the grocery store for the first time in weeks and weeks. A lot of items in the store had "New Lower Price" stickers. I don't think they really had "NEW LOWER PRICES". I think that is just a ploy to mess with your head. I used coupons and bought things only on sale and still spent $300. And I can't even tell you what I bought that added up to that much! RIDICULOUS!!!

When I went from having one child to two, the transition was EASY. Easier than I thought. Since I already had more than one child, I thought going from 2 to 3 would be a piece of cake! Boy, was I totally wrong. No one warns you of the dangers of going from 2 to 3 because no one would ever want more than 2. So, I'm here to warn you. When you take that pregnancy test for the 3rd child and it shows up positive, it should also have bells and whistles and flashing lights to warn you that you better spend the next 9 months in hibernation just to have the energy to deal with the massive chaos that is headed your way. I mean, I've been working on this one blog post for well over a week now.

I am totally about to become the laundry Nazi. I never seem to finish the massive piles of laundry before there's at least 3 more loads to wash. And fold. And put away. My boys are all about to be limited to 3 or 4 articles (of their own choosing) per week. And I'm trying to teach my pack rat 7 year old responsibility and make him put away his own laundry. It's easier to just do it myself. He crams things in every nook and cranny of his closet. He probably has a million clothes with tags still on them tucked away somewhere in his closet that I had forgotten he had. He's going to be the death of me.

Sometimes I feel like I have to be Super Mom or Super Wife. This is a huge weakness when it comes to my personality. I idolize June Cleaver. She was even married to a C.P.A. like me! OKAY, I know she is just a character on a television show from 50 years ago, but it would be my greatest achievement in life to raise such well-behaved (albeit mischievous) kids all the while having a hot dinner on the dining room table when my husband got home from work, a clean house, a big smile, and pearls and high heels still intact by the end of the day. (No, I don't even own any pearls!) I am nowhere CLOSE to being Mrs. Cleaver. I do good to even wash my hair a few times a week and even remember to breathe every once in a while. But I feel like it's my duty to have a clean house when my husband gets home from work every day. Just yesterday the only time I sat down was while I was in the car rider line picking up my son from school or when I was nursing our one month old. Yet when Chad got home there were dishes in the sink, 2 loads of laundry washing and drying, a load still on the couch that I had yet to put away and the kitchen looked like an atomic bomb went off. And my goal was to wrap a few presents AND have the house straightened by 5 o'clock. I can't even tell you what I got accomplished yesterday, yet I never sat down. Sigh. It's a great thing my husband doesn't expect me to be June Cleaver.......

I have learned the art of Internet shopping this Christmas season. And let me tell you--- it. is. AWESOME. I don't have to be around people, crowds, traffic. Just me and a cup of coffee in my most comfortable pajamas. And you can get some really great deals. I have a junk email address that all of these different companies send promotions to daily. If you take the time and look when you're in the market for a gift, you can get some things for a really great deal.

Okay guys. On a very serious note--- We are about to close out another year. And it seems that with each passing year losses get greater and greater. Just this week, a friend I've grown up with lost her father unexpectedly Monday night. And here it is close to Christmas. The time of year that most people love and cherish and make memories. But then there are families who have not only experienced great losses throughout the year of loved ones, but there are those who lose them so close to such a special time of the year. I was feeling really sad a few days ago thinking about my grandfather and how this will be our first Christmas without him. And yes, loss of ANYONE in your family that you love is hard, but the pain comes in different strengths and forms depending on the person you lost. For instance losing my grandfather was very hard, but I know it doesn't compare to the pain of losing a child. Nor does it probably compare to the pain of losing a parent. Everyone will lose someone they love eventually. I can tell you that having Jesus in your heart and knowing that the person you loved had Jesus living inside of them helps tremendously when it comes to dealing with grief. I'm being pretty elementary here...... Know Jesus, know peace. No Jesus, no peace. Regardless of any circumstances you may be facing. I keep trying to imagine what Christmas is like in Heaven. Or if everyday is Christmas in Heaven. I can't even wrap my brain around how beautiful it must be to worship the birth of our Lord and Savior at His feet. Physically wrapped in His glory and His splendor and His majesty. Even though we celebrate his death and resurrection at Easter every year, if the Son of Man had not even come to this earth, there would have been no one to be the mediator between us and God. There would have been no one to sacrifice his life for the sins of man for all eternity. Having a newborn this time of year brings close to my heart only a fraction of what Mary must have felt as she held sweet Baby Jesus. What was she thinking? Did she even comprehend the magnitude of what her tiny baby boy would endure during His short 33 years? And the simple fact that God chose a simple stable full of smelly animals and itchy hay to be the place to bring His Son into this world. He could have chosen any way to bring Jesus into this world. Yet, He humbled Himself and was born into this world as a human being who would walk this earth and be tempted just as any of us.

I don't know when I'll blog again, moments to sit and type like this are very few these days. Like I said, it's taken me over a week to finish this post. The date at the top is probably from last week.... But, I wish everyone a Merry Christmas. Hold your loved ones extra tight and cherish the moments you have. It sounds so cheesy and cliche, I know. But life changes in the blink of an eye. You don't know when your life will change. And all of us at some point will experience a life-changing situation in the blink of an eye. Have a great Christmas and a fantastic new year!

I actually have a lot more on my mind, but I'm expected at the doctor in a little while for my 6 week check-up, and I have two kids to get ready so they can tag along. Oh joy......

Thankful.....

I must say, that even though Facebook gets my blood pressure way up during election times, and with certain other things, I have still been overwhelmed by my sweet friends over the past week. I have just been so blessed with all the sweet comments over the birth of my sweet little angel girl and even the comments on her pictures.

I have also realized how blessed I am with such sweet friends. Chad and I have not had to worry about a meal since we got home from the hospital and for that I am so grateful. I have truly been humbled by the sweet things my friends have done for me lately. Not only after the baby, but during my pregnancy. I will always be grateful for the people God has given us in our lives.

Meanwhile....... Mary Grace is a week old. I never thought she'd get here, and here she is growing so fast already. It makes me so sad to think about how fast the next several years will fly by. I didn't realize with Brennan, our first child, how fast time goes and how fast they grow. By the third, it hits home with how quickly time flies. Hoping I can hang in there without becoming a total mental case.

Welcoming Mary Grace Clayton........

For some reason Blogger posted all of these pictures randomly, instead of the order I thought I was posting them. So some of these are out of order.

Picture above: Proud Daddy carrying out his princess. You could have knocked him over with a feather. Meanwhile the doctors were finishing up with me-- taking out my appendix and giving me a nerve block injection before they stitched me up.

She was a chunk. A big, healthy baby. 8 lbs, and 5 oz., and 21.5 inches long. That is why I was so fat.

In recovery after her very first feeding. Usually babies can have a hard time learning to latch on and nurse properly. Sometimes there are a lot of tears and frustration involved. Not Miss Piggy. She latched on immediately and she hasn't had a problem since. Do you see her look of contentment after her belly was full?

Ethan has totally surprised me. He has adjusted so well with his new baby sister. As a matter of fact, we have to fuss at him from time to time for being TOO loving. He loves to kiss her and touch her.

This wasn't Brennan's first rodeo, so I wasn't worried too much about him adjusting. He's pretty much carried on as usual.

We got the boys presents from Mary Grace so that they could feel included in all of the excitement.

Our first family photo as a family of 5.

My friend, Lora, made her door sign. She did such an awesome job and even came by on her short lunch hour to fill in the date and other info.

Brennan's presents.

All bundled up and ready to go home.

I just love this picture. E-man's hair just cracks me up!

Leaving the hospital on a very chilly and windy day.

All is well. We are back home and trying to adjust to our new routine. She is already nearly a week old and it just makes me so sad. When I was pregnant I felt SO bad that I thought she would never get here. Now it's just gone by in a blur and I want the magic so I can stop the hands of time for a little while.

Her first check up was yesterday. She was back up to her birth weight (which can sometimes be tricky with babies who are nursed). She is my little CHUNKA-CHUNKA Burnin' Love. But she's a perfect little angel.

38 weeks.......and counting.....

I just returned from my 38 week check-up. Yes, that's 38 as in thirty-eight. I have a new found respect for the Duggar mom. I CANNOT imagine carrying a child once more, much less 16 more. I actually have a new found respect for anyone with 4 or more kids. I don't even think I want my husband sleeping under the same ROOF as me for the next 10 years after I give birth to this kid.

My check-up went okay. The baby's heart rate was just a little low so the nurse hooked me up to a monitor for a little while. In the meantime I sent Chad a text message while I was lying there staring at the ceiling. He works about a mile from the hospital. Usually Chad only has one speed. And that is SLOOOOW. He made it to the 4th floor of the Colonnades in record time. He even beat the doctor in the room. I had also been having cramping in the last 24 hours that felt like they were getting progressively worse. My doctor ordered a sonogram and of course checked to see if I had dilated. Go figure. Mary Grace may be squished beyond BOTH of our comfort levels, but she has yet to do anything about it. Other than keep her head on my bladder. The sono showed that she was around 7 pounds, 10 ounces. For us, that is a BIG baby. And we were also told she had a big belly. She's going to be chunk who loves to eat. Which is what she has turned me into-- which is probably why her belly is so round. She has proven to be a girl who loves drama and she hasn't even graced us with her presence yet.

So, we are still hoping that November 7 will be her special day. Even though her heart rate was low, my doctor said it was by no means dangerously low or low in a bad way. I am, however, miserable. I just haven't felt well and am puffy, emotional, and hungry all the time. And now I am having what feels like horrible menstrual cramps continuously. And I am trying to show determination and endurance and will power. I've completed a full marathon. And now I'm carrying a baby to a full 40 weeks. At this point, I would honestly rather complete a marathon. I'm just determined to make it to the 7th................ I want her to share her birthday with her great-grandfather that she didn't get a chance to meet.

And I've thought about deactivating my Facebook account for awhile. I haven't yet, but I have refrained from being on the site very much. Facebook and politics don't mix and it is very irritating. I find myself to be very opinionated and it gets hard to keep my mouth closed on certain topics. So, instead of my blood pressure going up every few hours, I'm just going to stay away. Especially with it being so close to election time. I haven't deactivated my account because I know in just a few days there are family and friends who are going to want to see pictures of our little drama queen. So until then my actions will be limited.

Radical Ambition.....

Our church just went through a church-wide study during our Sunday school hour for 7 weeks called "Holy Ambition". It's something that everyone should pick up and read. It focuses on Nehemiah and placing our priorities in the right order, becoming PASSIONATE about the kingdom of God, and doing something about it instead of letting the fire burn out.

On top of that, (I don't think it's a coincidence on the timing of "Holy Ambition" and the following) I started listening to "Radical" by David Platt. I had given the book on cd to Chad for Father's Day. Most of our church and leaders had read the book, but as always, I was a step behind. I began to listen to it on the way to work every morning a few weeks ago. "Radical" focuses on the CORE of sharing the gospel, and getting back to the root of sharing our faith in the same way that Jesus did. It has definitely been an eye opener. I really recommend the book "Radical" to anyone who has a heart for furthering the kingdom of Christ. And if you are a Christ follower, that should include you.

In the meantime, between those two books/studies, God has laid something on my heart that I haven't shared with anyone yet. Not even my own husband. Sometimes I get these really silly ideas that seem great at the time and end up being a flop. (Take for example all those crafts I pinned on Pinterest with the great idea that I could do ALL of them!) But, this is a lot deeper and a lot bigger than any craft on Pinterest. This is something HUGE. Something that my thought process can't even digest right now. I just know that something has been laid something on my heart and I won't know if it's a God thing or a me thing until it's covered in prayer. I know if it's a God thing, He won't leave me alone about it (as my preacher once told me). And I also know that things will fall into place with prayer and faith. If it's a me thing, it will turn into another one of those silly ideas that I thought was a good idea at one time. But so far, I don't feel like this is a me thing. Which is why I'm so reluctant to share it (I know, it sounds silly that if it IS a God thing, then why am I reluctant to share it?). I just need you to commit to pray. It's nothing that can possibly take shape any time soon. It's just not possible. (Well, I do know that God's will is always different and it WILL happen when He wants it to happen, so I guess it IS possible--- never question the ability of God's timing--- I have been foolish enough before to think I can). I just think he is preparing my heart and asking me to share it with others soon so that their hearts can possibly be prepared for something so big. So, once I can get my own prayers in order and my thoughts right about this tugging at my heart, I will ask that you please send up a few prayers. The last thing I want to do is ignore something that God is commanding me to do. (Something our sermon was preached on Sunday---and I felt like God was directly speaking to ME, which is why I don't think all of this is coincidence or a me thing.)

I will say that it is a ministry opportunity. And something I never thought I would ever find myself getting too involved in. Who knows? In 6 months, this may be just one more blog post added to the hundreds of others or this may be just a little nudge to get the ball rolling. We can just say that for me this is a Radical Ambition.....

And I will add that I have the most awesome group of people in my Sunday school class that all have a true heart and desire for ministry opportunities. They get on fire for things and I feel like each one of them would be huge part of this-- once I share it!

Just a few pics.....

These are a just a few pics that a friend of mine took for us after my baby shower a few weeks ago. I really didn't want pictures made of me and my fat self, but I knew (especially with this being our 3rd and final child) that I would regret not having any "belly" pictures made. So, I gave in and let her take some pics. She did a great job and they turned out so good (considering the subject matter being photographed). So, here are just a few out of about 300.