My life revolves around poop...........

Here is a typical day with the Miller kids and why I need a weekend rate at Whitfield (the local loony bin):

Yesterday I took all 3 kids to the dentist (which also happens to be my place of employment). Stupid? Yes. Brennan and I are the only ones to have our teeth cleaned. When Dr. H comes in to check Brennan, he blows up a latex glove as a balloon for Ethan. Not a wise move on Dr. H.'s part. Because then Brennan wanted one. Which turned into a 3 ring circus. Then he told my boys they could go out into the waiting room with about 5 other kids and take their balloons. I'm pretty sure I broke out into a sweat. Then I could imagine Ethan taking off out the door into the parking lot just because he could. Fortunately Ethan popped his balloon within 30 seconds and they were both back to inform me. Then about 30 seconds later Brennan's popped. Situation was diffused.

Returning home the kids were screaming for ice cream. I don't even know WHY. We don't really eat ice cream. Every container of ice cream I have ever bought goes bad. But I just happened to have a half gallon of Kroger brand Cafe Italian Tiramisu ice cream. (Oh my goodness, TO DIE FOR! if you haven't tried it!) It was also time for Mary Grace to eat, see what all Brennan had for homework, figure out what's for supper, AND try to get one of the kids in the shower or bath.

Then this is what unfolded next: Mary Grace had a dirty diaper so I changed her before I fed her. Then I sat down to feed her. All the while Brennan is arguing with me about the many reasons he should not have to start homework at that second. By the way--- have I mentioned that at five o'clock there is some invisible force that flips a switch at my house and all hell breaks lose? No, I haven't? Well, there IS some sort of evil, menacing force that turns some sort of evil, menacing switch at exactly 5 o'clock EVERY SINGLE DAY and my kids AND the dog go ballistic. The boys start fighting, Mary Grace starts crying, the dog starts barking, you get the picture. Anyway, yesterday as I'm feeding Mary Grace and arguing with Brennan in a position that I can't move to get up and handle him, Mary Grace decided to have another blowout with her diaper (I had just changed her 2 minutes before). And when I say blowout, I mean there is poop everywhere. Her, me, my clothes. EVERYWHERE. So I proceed to give her a bath. As I'm getting her out Ethan comes running in her room and jumps on her toybox (which is actually full of clothes). "Mama, Sissy is BUTT NAKED!!!" As he is saying this, he is laughing. Then he says, "Mama, I want to be the Lion King". (He is referring to his Halloween costume which is now in the top of his closet). He is back and forth between hollering "Sissy is butt naked" and "I want to be the Lion King". Before I even finished dressing his sister I went and got the stupid costume from the top of his closet, and dressed him in the stupid thing, so that he would hush for a few minutes.

Sigh. Less than a minute later: "Mama, I don't want to be 'da Lion King anymore, I done now". Yes, less than a single minute later. I'm still trying to dress Mary Grace through this whole Lion King ordeal. After Ethan takes Lion King off, he goes into the bathroom to annoy Brennan while Brennan is in the shower. While Ethan is in there, I guess he decided he needs to poop. Within a few minutes of getting Mary Grace dressed and trying to put her down (again, when that 5'0clock switch is flipped, she expects to be held, otherwise she screams bloody murder) Ethan comes running into the living room with his pants around his ankles informing me that he just went poo-poo. Within a few seconds Brennan comes in behind him and says, "Mama, Ethan didn't flush the potty. But you GOTTA come look at it. It is weird. Mama, come look at what Ethan did in the potty". Yes, my oldest was impressed by what my middle child did in the toilet. And wanted me to come look at it.

I can't make this stuff up. This is way more entertaining than fiction. Meanwhile yesterday Ethan is eating me out of house and home. All I heard from the minute his feet hit the floor out of bed was, "Mama, I hungwy (hungry)" If he said it once, he said it a thousand times. Literally. And he has to have everything in a bowl. So he can dump the bowl out. Yesterday he dumped an entire bowl of Cheetoh Puffs all over my comforter. Then he dumped the goldfish out all over the couch. And he dumps it on purpose. He wants it in a bowl so he can dump it and eat off dirty surfaces.

Chad doesn't always understand why I'm a crazy woman when he gets home. Last night I was wanting to put them in bed at 7. And I would have if Brennan didn't have his derby race car to work on for Boy Scouts this weekend. I was so exhausted I went to bed at 9:30 (which is early for me these days) and was asleep the minute my head hit the pillow. And this is someone who has suffered from insomnia for YEARS. Solution: I had three kids. We could have our own reality show around here. And I have just given up on trying to keep this house spotless. I have just decided I will no longer have any company or friends over for the next 18 years. It is what it is. I keep things clean, but there is no way for me to have an entirely clean house for 10 seconds. I clean the toilet constantly around here. But cleaning our toilets is like washing your car: it's destined to rain a few hours later. Well, when I scrub the potties, someone needs to poop within 5 minutes. If I scrubbed the toilet at midnight, someone would get out of bed and need to poop. I always told Chad that if I got to stay home our house would always be clean and there would always be dinner on the table when he got home from work. That was 10 years and 3 kids ago. Now my only reaction to what I used to say is LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOL! LAUGH OUT LOUD.

Yes people, that is my life these days. Craziness, poop, exhaustion, and a dirty house. See why I need some good quick, easy, and convenient recipes?! So, don't forget to post a few below my last blog entry from yesterday.

And I'm recording this on my blog so one day I can look back and think about how GOOD these days were. Even though I am a crazy woman, my eyebrows need waxing, my hair needs cut and coloring, I need to loose about 20 pounds, I'm the one that always looks a mess so my kids can look halfway decent, I will remember that these days are very fleeting and will be gone before I can fully assess how TRULY good these days are. All in all I'm blessed. I'm CRAZY. INSANE, CRAZY. But I have 2 jobs that I love-- one that pays and one that doesn't. I'm able to balance a paying job, with my at-home job. My children are healthy, Chad and I are healthy, we have wonderful friends, a nice home in a nice town, and we are just plain blessed. Even though I am too tired to fully appreciate it most days.

I want recipes!!!!!!

Okay, I have really fallen off the wagon here. And it's hell trying to get back on. For about a year, (really since I found out I was pregnant) I have not felt well at all. There was not a day of my pregnancy that I felt good. And now with 3 kids to tend to I've lost myself along the way and I've also become overwhelmed with simple, everyday tasks. Our new year's resolution was to get back on a cash budget instead of swiping our debit cards for every thing. (It's easy to go overboard when you don't really SEE the cash you are spending--- a little here and there adds up to A LOT before you know it.) So with that said I REALLY need to get back to cooking every night and stocking up on groceries-- instead of flying by the seat of my pants. I think that has added to my being overwhelmed--- what to feed the masses every night. And I know Pinterest has some really great recipes, but I barely have time do ANYTHING these days, much less explore Pinterest. I think that would just overwhelm as well--- I'd want to make and cook everything I see.

So, I'm calling all moms. I really want to hear from some other busy, TIRED, moms (or dads!). Of course, regardless of what I cook, someone is always going to complain. But I want recipes. Lots of recipes. I know everyone is busy too, so if you can't take the time to type it out, please share a link to the recipe if it comes from the internet. I want tried and true recipes that you have fed your family. My kids get tired of the same, boring things, and I get tired of cooking the same, boring things. To add some inspiration to share your great recipes I will do a drawing on February 5th (via random.org). So, the more recipes you share, the better your chances. I will make it a $25 Visa giftcard. I really want help!!!!!! If you post recipes, please post them under the comment section of THIS post. Your post will not immediately appear, because it has to come through email first for me to approve. I have had stalkers post ugly things before. So please, please, please share some good, easy, family-friendly, kid-friendly recipes!!!!!!!

Music to my ears....

I have fallen in love with Adele. Love, love, love. She is even better than Norah Jones back in the day. I want to be Adele when I grow up. Wait..... She's younger than me......by like a decade.

And Pandora...... Where have you been all my life?! I have a million playlists and you always come through for me!

Sundays

How come Sundays are so rough for me? Is it Satan or is it just me?! I was determined not to be defeated this morning. But alas..... Here I sit nursing a baby and entertaining myself with Blogger app on my iPhone and I feel like I'm a day late and a dollar short. I overslept since my alarm was not set, when I thought it was. Ethan woke up with what seems to be yet ANOTHER sinus infection coming on. Mary Grace spit up all over her smocked dress and her socks don't match. There are 3 loads of laundry wadded up in laundry baskets taunting me and reminding me that I'm a failure. There are dust bunnies all over my wood floor laughing at me. And my dishwasher is full of dirty dishes. Again. My Sundays are not going quite like God wants them to. It's supposed to be the Sabbath-- a holy day. A day filled with worship and rest. Yet it seems to be the day my life becomes overwhelming before the week ahead. I made the bed and said a little prayer this morning. Doesn't that count for something?! Sigh. Big. Fat. Sigh.

Overwhelmed!

Multi-task. I have come to believe that the word multi-task can only define a mother. A mother to young children. As I sit here I am trying to entertain my wide-awake 10 week old, drink a cup of coffee, eat a bowl of oatmeal, wash yet another load of laundry, and think about the never ending list of things I need to get done today (yet here I sit at the computer typing away.....)

Overwhelmed. Another word that can easily describe a mother. A mother to young children.

Meltdown. What an multi-tasking, overwhelmed mother has from time to time. A mother to young children.

I am certainly no stranger to being an overwhelmed, multi-tasking mother who has the occasional meltdown. (Okay, confession here: I have one daily these days!)

Between giving birth the third time, being off of work, the holidays, and my oldest being out of school in December and off of schedule for so long, I am just now getting back into some sort of routine 10 weeks after having the baby. I'm not sure what's worse. Being off of a schedule for so long or trying to get back into one! Sunday 2 weeks ago I had finally decided to get back into going to BOTH Sunday school AND church. It was easy the first week. We were a few minutes late, but did very well considering. This past Sunday almost got the best of me. I think I might still be recovering.

I did what any organized (okay, I just wanted to throw that word in there to make me sound a little better, but let's be honest, I'm not sure I even know what that word means)---er--let's change that to what any responsible mother would do..... I had everyone's clothes laid out and ready to go, including mine, before we went to bed Saturday night. Chad had to be at church early, so I was fortunate enough to have one kid ready in time to send with him. After that it all went downhill. And I'm not exactly sure where it all went wrong. It could have had to do with the fact that my sink was full of dirty dishes, my bed was unmade, the laundry was so backed up that I did good to find a clean pair of socks for everyone, and our cabinet was empty and void of any food. I knew what all awaited me when I got home, so I could try and cram it in from the hours of 1:00 and 4:00 in the afternoon before I was due back at church. Sigh. So there I was, running (almost quite literally) out the door at about 8:50. Sunday School starts at 9:00. We live about 20 minutes from our place of worship. I was so stressed out that it occurred to me that I needed some serious prayer in that van.

That's when I heard a thought that couldn't have been of my own. It sounded too reasonable and calm to be my voice.
"Mandy, do you really think God cares what time you make it to church?' Hm. Let me think about this for a minute. Was this a trick question? So here is the rest of the conversation in my head:
Me: "Well, I need to be there on time so that we can be counted on the roll before it gets turned into the office and recorded"
Voice: "Is that what is so important about showing up to Sunday School?"
Me: "Sort of. If I make an effort to be there, I want to be counted."
Voice: "That's all you're thinking about in your frazzled state of mind? Being counted on the roll?!"
Me: "Yes"
Voice: "I'm pretty sure that there are more important things to be worried about that being counted on the roll. Things like actually getting something out of what God tells you through Adam or Bro. Chris. Things you need to soak in and take with you. Actual life lessons and truth. Not being checked off on the Sunday School roll so everyone will see that you made it there. Besides, isn't the only thing that matters is what's in your heart? And God knows exactly what is in your heart. Why do you worry about such elementary things?"
Me: "Is that another trick question?"

I have to say, that I felt a sense of peace after that conversation with that strange, calm voice. But I admit, it didn't last long. Within minutes of getting home, and seeing dirty dishes, an unmade bed, an empty pantry, and 3 kids all screaming and whining at once that they were hungry, I was overwhelmed and in meltdown mode. After throwing a load of laundry in the wash, and feeding all 3 kids, I was finally able to sit down and eat. All alone. Just for good humor, I will share what Chad asked as I was making my own lunch...... He saw the paper we recently subscribed to on Sundays. (I only subscribed because they were running a special and I love the coupon inserts.... I mean, who has time to read the paper these days?!) He walks into the kitchen while the football game was on commercial and as nonchalantly as he can, he asks me, "So, is there anything good in the paper today?' Oh my word. You don't even want to know what I said to him after he asked me that question. I mean REALLY?! At that point I had barely even had time to make a much needed pit stop after drinking 2 cups of coffee!!!!

Then I knew what I had to do. Go to the grocery store. Who is stupid enough to go to the grocery store on a Sunday afternoon? Apparently every person in the greater metro area. But as I sat down in the van to leave, I was literally crying. I had left with the door slamming behind me. I had already kneed the washing machine several times(I have the black bruise on my knee to prove it) and yelled some words that should have been followed with a bar of soap in my mouth and a confession. So as I was getting ready to back out of the garage, my phone buzzed. It was a comment that a friend had left on one of my Facebook statuses. When I saw the name, I knew it was a subtle hint from God. The comment was from our friend Matt, who's son is Xavian. If you have been reading my blogs in the past, you know Xavian battled a brain tumor at 3 months of age and has been in and out of the hospital since then. He is now 3 years old. When I saw Matt's name, that voice spoke to me again. "Mandy, you have no reason to complain. Think of what others are going through. You only have laundry and groceries to take care of. Others are facing sick children. Or the loss of parents. Or the loss of a job. Why do you make simple things so overwhelming for yourself? You only do this to yourself. You feel sorry for yourself. Do you really think that you are the ONLY woman in history to have a husband and 3 kids to take care of?" Wow. Talk about a humbling thought. I am convinced that God was pretty much trying to tell me to chill out. Now, I know that I stay overwhelmed for no real reason. I guess I just feel like I am constantly going-- cleaning, cooking, washing, folding, and WORRYING, yet nothing ever seems to get accomplished. This is a season in my life that is very busy and stressful. And because of my personality, I will probably always be overwhelmed as long as I have children living under my roof. But I am certainly thankful for the gifts that God trusted Chad and me with.

I do know that my prayer life has been neglected. And that is not what God wants for me. And the more my prayer life has been neglected, the more overwhelmed I feel. I've got to learn to be more thankful. I've got to learn to TRULY ask for forgiveness (especially when I curse at the washing machine). I've got to learn to take my life one step at a time. Looking at the big picture is very overwhelming. Taking things one step at a time is a lot less frustrating. I wonder if they make a support group for people like me? I'm going to try and work on this. I may only be successful a handful of times in the next 18 years while my children are still living here, but I can at least take a deep breath and try to hear that voice that keeps trying to make me see the good in my life..............

A few verses that came to me just this morning:

John 15:16

¹⁶ You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit—fruit that will last—and so that whatever you ask in my name the Father will give you.

1 Samuel 12:22

²² For the sake of his great name the LORD will not reject his people, because the LORD was pleased to make you his own.

2 Corinthians 3:18

¹⁸ And we all, who with unveiled faces contemplate^[a] the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into his image with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is in the Spirit.

Proverbs 23:18

¹⁸ There is surely a future hope for you,
and your hope will not be cut off.

Meanwhile, if you have children, invest your money in a copy of "Heaven is for Real (the kid's version)". We bought a copy this weekend, and the boys have been asking us every night at bedtime to read it to them. They LOVE it!!!!! And if you haven't read the adult version, DO IT!!!!!!

A picture is worth a thousand words....

Can you tell there is NEVER a dull moment in our house?! ( P.S.--A little disclaimer-- The picture below is cut off a little on my blog. Ethan got chopped off a little because of the way Blogger loaded it). Chad and I got a 16x20 of the black and white print below for our Christmas present to each other. Jennifer Blackwell did a beautiful job as always. It looks stunning framed and hanging above our couch!

Happy New Year!!!!

Oh my word. It's January 12 and I haven't blogged ONCE in the new year!!! I've got to get with it. My life is insane these days and I can't even tell you why. I feel like I run around like a chicken with my head cut off, yet I get NOTHING accomplished. And I mean NOTHING. My dishwasher gets run every single day almost. There are at least 10 loads of laundry to do in one week (which adds up to a little over one load a day, which is INSANITY!) (Oh, and thank goodness for my mom who helps me tremendously with that. She IS my laundry fairy!) What used to be considered a month's worth of groceries will now only last about an average of six days in this house. My oldest son is a pack rat and his room looks like it's going to explode with all the junk that he hoards. Half of our garage is full of stuff to put in that garage sale that we have yet to have--- it's only been nearly 5 months. Some days I can barely catch a shower and brush my teeth-- which is stressful because we all know I am very OCD about dental hygiene. So life has overwhelmed me on most days. Even if I didn't have to work, I most definitely still would. It is my escape from being overwhelmed with the demands of being a mother and a wife to four, *ahem*, three kids.

So here it is, 2012. Another year of new beginnings. And let's just get one thing clear here. My blog (appropriately title "THE MILLER'S BLOG" for no other reason than it is of or pertaining to the Miller's and things that go on in our lives and every now and then a few opinions). I have unintentionally offended several people by things I have put on my blog in the past. If something I post in my own personal space offends you, then don't read my blog anymore. It's just as simple as that. My blog is an outlet. Just like some people journal or keep a diary, this is where I come to share some of our lives and to express some things in writing. What you might need to know about me: I can be highly opinionated. It is what it is. I'm also a very sweet, caring, compassionate person. But about 1/2 a millimeter under the surface of all that sweetness and compassion lies a very mean woman. And no, I'm not trying to be funny here. And I don't mean "mean" in the sense that I do evil, bad things and hurt other people. I just don't put up with a lot of junk. It's easy to push my buttons. Yes, I know it's not being very Christ-like, but we all have our weaknesses. I try to work on my attitude but it really isn't working for me very well. I think the older I get, the worse it becomes. And I'm just being honest before God here. I will give someone in need my last dime if need be, but if you take advantage of that generosity then things can get very ugly. My poor husband has had to deal with me for almost 10 years. Each year that passes probably earns him an extra room on his mansion in Heaven. That's all I'll say about ME. Just wanted to clear a thing or 2 up here.

Speaking of marriage: May of this year will mark our 10 year wedding anniversary. Lord have mercy. It has been a tough journey. I will be the first to admit that marriage is hard work. Of course, things that require hard work are the things that are always worth it in the end. Our 10 years has not been perfect by any sense of the word. There are some days I'd like to hit him over the head with our cast iron skillet and then there are some days I get the sense that he wants to tell me to move to Africa. And stay there forever. But he doesn't because he knows he won't have anyone to wash his underwear and socks if I left. A lot has changed in 10 years. A lot of very bad times, but a lot of very good times that have by far outweighed all the bad. The best part: bringing 3 beautiful children into this world. One of whom can easily burp like a grown man. And no, it's not the 2 you may be thinking of. I mean, can you be any prouder of a trait like that? She's determined to keep up with all the males in the house. And burping isn't the only thing she can do loud and proud.........

So 2012 marks the beginning of a new year and new adventures. It also marks the year of a lot of milestones. And Chad if you're reading this, remember I'm not hard to please...... Our anniversary present should be easy peasy lemon squeezy (as Brennan likes to say). I just want a new camera, a trip to New York City, and/or a diamond anniversary band. But I will also settle for a new car (or minivan with automatic sliding doors). See? I'm not hard to live with at all!

Happy New Year!!!!!!