So I got an unexpected surprise in the mail on Tuesday: A finisher's certificate from the LaSalle Bank Chicago Marathon. Seven months later. Need I one more reminder to hang on my wall of just how poorly I performed that day? No. I think not. I wanted to throw it away, but Chad told me to keep it. I don't always listen to him. My final number was something like 22 thousand- 5-hundred-and-something. Out of 25,000 people. So in other words, the last of the pack. What most people wouldn't know by looking at that certificate is that originally 45,000 people entered to run that race. And even though 25,000 people have finishing times, 25,000 still didn't finish. Some crossed the finish line after being told to quit and being redirected to the finish line. I know that I should be proud that mine is an OFFICIAL time, but it's been 7 months and the longer I've had to think about my poor running that day, the angrier I get at myself. Why? Because all year long I worked my butt off and showed up to all but 3 of the Saturday runs. At one point I was averaging between 9 and 10 minute miles. My average time as shown on the certificate??? 13:44 per mile. I know I should be proud to have finished what over half the people didn't get to do that day. I am. But, a part of me is itching to see exactly what I can do. In ideal circumstances. You know, plenty of water, well-mannered, well-adjusted people surrounding me. Thank goodness for Ann that day. She was my knight -in- shining armor. A sight for sore eyes. But first things first, I need to have this baby before I can even THINK about lacing up my running shoes again.

So Chad and I went and registered at the hospital on Tuesday. We also found out the damage in finances. I think between the doctor bill and the hospital bills, this baby is costing me almost as much as my salary in a year. That ONE unexpected visit to the doctor a few weeks ago cost us $500. For one visit. I received the statement in the mail today and about fell over backwards. Of course, I don't have maternity coverage on my insurance, either. But, we've been given discounts because of that, and I have been thanking God for His blessings over and over. So, it's official. I'm having a baby. And he'll be here before I know it.

And I went to the doctor for my usual monthly check-up and all was good. The doctor told me she still thought I needed to gain some more weight. If I stuff anymore food in my mouth during the day it will just be downright disgusting. Although I am using pregnancy as an excuse for that one extra helping of cake I normally wouldn't eat.... I am thinking about taking pre-natal water aerobics at Baptist. Since I am giving birth there I get certain free classes. But, it's at the Jackson Healthplex and to really get the benefits I would have to attend classes three days a week. It would cost a fortune in gas to drive from my house. Plus I would have to buy a maternity bathing suit, and water-shoes. Where do adults get water-shoes anyway? So, I know it would be good for me and fun, but I just don't know about driving to N. Jackson three times a week for a 45 minute class.

And Brennan went for his checkup today. He's growing like a 4 year old is supposed to. He's in the 75th percentile in height and between 50th and 75th percentile for his weight. In other words: He's going to be tall and thin. So, all is well in the Miller household. For now. Just don't get me started on these grocery OR gas prices.....

Happy Memorial Day

My boss forwarded this email and it's awesome. Five for Fighting is an awesome group, and this video is a tearjerker.

Thanks to all our troops for all the sacrifices they make for this country. Happy Memorial Day!!!


http://www.whatkindofworlddoyouwant.com/videos/view/id/706270

P.S. Since I'm having trouble creating an actual link, just copy and paste the address. It's worth watching.

This is Brennan "resting" after a hard day's work. (Notice his tool belt and the safety glasses pushed on top of his head.) Whew. It's hard being four.

Children's Ministry Team

Our children's director (back right) at our church took the Children's Ministry Team out to eat last night along with couple of spouses. We had such a good time. I haven't eaten that much in a while. I even had a piece of caramel pie for dessert. Yum. I wasn't even hungry when I woke up this morning.

South Jackson

Is it just me, or does there seem to be A LOT of crime on the news lately all involving South Jackson areas. This bothers both Chad and I for two reasons:

#1) My in-laws (Chad's parents) live right in the heart of where all this crime is happening. They live on McDowell Road. I also have a sister-in-law and brother-in-law (Chad's middle sister and her husband) who live off of Ellis Avenue/Raymond Rd. area. They have two kids.

#2) I work off McDowell Rd. on Robinson Rd. Ext.

It's gotten so bad over there that I will hardly go to my in-laws house anymore. And it's not because I have anything against them. I just don't feel safe over there. Brennan has spent the night over there a few times, but Chad and I agreed last night when we were discussing this topic that we don't want him spending the night over there anymore. Which I hate to do, because it's Brennan's grandparents, but until they move (that's a matter of if and when) I just don't feel comfortable with sending him over there. The murder that happened just this week is what bothers me the most. It was a white female who was the victim of an initial robbery. And she lives right down the road from my in-laws. The gas station across the street from my in-laws house has had a robbery and gunfight in the parking lot within this past year. And then there was the drug bust that happened on Meadow Lane this week which is just a few blocks from McDowell Rd. Then there was the carjacking last night at the corner of Terry Rd. and McDowell.

Working over there really doesn't make me feel threatened YET, but that's because I work in a busy office and there are always people coming and going. But, Chad has decided that I will be carrying some form of protection with me from now on. He wants me to carry pepper spray AND a gun in the car. I don't think a gun will be necessary. It's a little extreme for me. Besides, by the time I reached for it and got ready to shoot I would already be knocked unconscious. Plus, Chad would have to take me somewhere and show me how to shoot it, which he says he wants to do. I hate guns and I don't ever want to use one, much less ride around with one under my seat.

The situation that S. Jackson has gotten in makes me really sad. I know it's even worse for people like my parents and grandparents who spent most of their lives in that area. They raised families over there and memories were made. Now it's a sad place to drive through. My grandparents had an incredible house that is now home to people who don't take great care of it. If Chad and I ever build a house I am designing it after my grandparents house. That's how awesome it is. Our great, big beautiful church was over there and was once part of a very thriving community. My grandfather was the preacher for 25 years. We sold it years ago and have moved to Byram which is slowly getting to be like South Jackson. Which is why Chad and I packed up and headed for Rankin County. I know Rankin County is not immune to crime. The Florence shooting that involved a police officer a couple of months ago happened across the street from my neighborhood, but everyone saw the result of what happens in Rankin County compared to Hinds. I guess this is bothering me now more than ever because it seems to be all I hear on the news. South Jackson has had more news coverage than West Jackson as of late. Who knows what the answer is..... I think it's too far gone to save at this point.

Victoria's Secret.........

Being 5 1/2 months pregnant I did NOT appreciate walking out to the mailbox and receiving the newest edition of the Victoria's Secret magazine. Especially when it's swimsuit season. It's bad enough looking at these models in the lingerie, but it takes it to a whole new level when they're modeling the newest, cutest bathing suits. Two-piece bathing suits. And they are on sale. How did I even get that catalog anyway? I don't have a credit card account with them. Is this somebody's idea of a joke?

Brennan's Fourth Birthday.

Yesterday was a very long day indeed. I was on my feet for 12 hours. Literally. The only time I sat down was when we were in the car going and returning to and from our destinations. It started with Community Day in Byram. Chad cooked over 300 hamburgers and I helped with crafts. There where people everywhere. It's great to reach out to people in the community, but it's tiring. Brennan had a good time, too. Some of his friends were there and we had a huge inflatable space-jump with a slide that he spent most of the day on. His party was at Gatti Town at 5:00. Which brings me to my next topic.

I will never, ever, ever have another party there, nor will I ever attend a party of someone elses there. It was ridiculously unorganized and chaotic. They didn't have our room ready on time. When they finally brought us into the room the tables were dirty and had not been cleaned. There was a dirty plate on the table. My "party hero", as they so claim, was no hero at all. She stalled for time. The balloon bouquet that is part of the party package consisted of four balloons tied to Brennan's chair. She asked me which type of pizzas I would like for the kids. I got to choose two. I said pepperoni and cheese. After 30 minutes with 11 kids bouncing off the walls and all of the parents standing around they finally brought the pizza. It was pepperoni and sausage. So some kids had to wait that much longer for the cheese pizza. Then my party hero comes and tells me that only 25 people including the kids and the hero can be in the room at a time. I can understand that. If they had told me that AHEAD of time. How am I supposed to start kicking people out of the party room? We were well over 25 people. The whole ordeal was just that. An ordeal. It got so bad that my mom saw the stress I was dealing with and had a nice little chat with the manager on my behalf. I ended up getting $50 off my total party tab, but it still didn't take away the lack of organization on THEIR part. Then at the end of the time limit, the kids were to the point that if there would have been chandeliers, they would have been swinging from them. I'm surprised they weren't hanging from the ceiling tiles. They were under the tables, on the tables, and everywhere in between. Instead of bringing the kids their game cards BEFORE she gave me my bill, she brought my bill first. Which took a good TWENTY MINUTES. Then after we signed the receipt we still had to wait on her to bring the game cards. Once we got out to the game area it was not any better. All I'm going to say without saying anything too terribly bad is this: Every weekend the Future Thugs of Jackson must come hang out there. That must be the meeting place. You could not turn around. And oh-so-rude were they. At one game two buddies were playing a game side by side and instead of them taking their turn and going to get in the back of the line to let someone else have a turn they kept swiping their game cards. Finally on the fourth swipe I had to get a little nasty. My patience was gone.

But, after all was said and done, Brennan was oblivious to the stress his parents were dealing with, and had a wonderful time. He got some great things and he's had a really fun weekend. Right now he's wearing his new tool belt and carrying around his new tools in his toolbox repairing things around the house. Now he's outside taking his tools out to his new house and he and his daddy are putting together his new grill that he's going to put on the back deck of his house. So, I'm just glad he had a good turnout at his party and he had a good time. And I'm glad that this weekend is almost over. I've still got one more function that I have to be a part of tonight, then I can return to normal tomorrow. This weekend has been wild. I came home from church and stuck the heating pad on my back and became a vegetable for a couple of hours. It felt good, too. And I don't really feel guilty about it. Other than my house looks like a disaster area. Whew.

Brennan's trip to the zoo.

We took Brennan to the zoo today. It's almost a tradition for us. Every year on the Friday before his birthday we have taken him to the zoo. He enjoyed it more this year than he has ever before. Until he got hungry. And I got hungry. Then it was time to go.

Tomorrow is his birthday party. I'm so excited. We are having it at GattiTown in Ridgeland. He is the perfect age to enjoy everything and know exactly what the celebration is all about. He at the stage of, "It's all about me!" I'm sure he'll be stuck there for quite awhile. It's going to be a busy day tomorrow. We are volunteering at Community Day in Byram from 9 until about 3. Our church is sponsoring it, and somehow the Children's Ministry Team got put on the list for EVERYTHING. So since we are on that team, we have to be there all day. Chad will be cooking, I will be helping with crafts. It's going to be a loooong day. Then Sunday is mine and Chad's six-year anniversary. Unfortunately there will be no time for Chad and Mandy. And Monday is Brennan's real birthday.

My parents and in-laws are coming over soon to cook out and put Brennan's birthday present together. He got a gigantic playhouse for the backyard. It's made of real cedar and everything. I wouldn't mind living there myself. Now when I get mad at Chad, he'll have somewhere warm and cozy to go!

Anyway, those are the pics from the zoo. I'm sure I will be posting more after this weekend!

Happy Mother's Day!

What a busy day. I'm tired. I think the dog agrees....

What a week!

When it rains, it pours. At least for this household.

I'm glad this week is ending and here is why:

#1) The air conditioner in our oldest car decided to go on the fritz. Finally I think it quit working all together. It's the car that Chad drives to work everyday. We think it's fixed. Temporarily.

#2) My unexpected trip to the doctor this week. Another ultrasound. No maternity coverage on my health insurance. Enough said.

#3) The air conditioner in our home decided to go on the fritz. Yesterday. The first hottest day of the year. Frozen solid. For no reason. It never gets turned below 70 degrees for that reason. We think it's fixed. Temporarily.

Every time I blink my eyes I see another dollar sign.....

Is this legal?

This totally blows my mind.....

Article on Clarion Ledger website today:

Arkansas woman pregnant with 18th child

LITTLE ROCK, ARK. — It’s a happy Mother’s Day for an Arkansas woman — she’s pregnant with her 18th child.
Michelle Duggar, 41, is due on New Year’s Day, and the latest addition will join seven sisters and 10 brothers. There are two sets of twins.

“We’ve had three in January, three in December. Those two months are a busy time for us,” she said, laughing.

The Duggars’ oldest child, Josh, is 20, and the youngest, Jennifer, is nine months old.
The fast-growing family lives in Tontitown in northwest Arkansas in a 7,000-square-foot home. All the children — whose names start with the letter J — are home-schooled.

Duggar has been been pregnant for more than 11 years of her life, and the family is in the process of filming another series for Discovery Health.

The new show looks at life inside the Duggar home, where chores — or “jurisdictions” — are assigned to each child. One episode of the new show involves a “jurisdiction swap,” where the boys do chores traditionally assigned to the girls, and vice versa, Duggar said.

“The girls swapped jurisdictions, changing tires, working in the garages, mowing the grass,” she said. “The boys got to cook supper from start to finish, clean the bathrooms,” among other chores.

Duggar said she’s six weeks along and the pregnancy is going well. She and her husband, Jim Bob Duggar, said they’ll keep having children as long as God wills it.

“The success in a family is first off, a love for God, and secondly, treating each other like you want to be treated,” Jim Bob Duggar said. “Our goal is for each one of our children to be best friends, and everybody working together to serve each other makes that happen.”

The other Duggar children, in between Joshua and Jennifer, are Jana, 18; John-David, 18; Jill, 16; Jessa, 15; Jinger, 14; Joseph, 13; Josiah, 11; Joy-Anna, 10; Jeremiah, 9; Jedidiah, 9; Jason, 7; James, 6; Justin, 5; Jackson, 3; and Johannah, 2.

Pregnancy pains.

For all you people, including my husband, who said this pregnancy would be soooo much easier this second time around because my body was in such good shape after training for a marathon and half-marathon I have three words for you: YOU. WERE. WRONG.

I just returned from an unexpected visit to the doctor this afternoon. I went to bed last night with a horrible headache and woke up with what I almost consider a borderline migraine. It took me forever to get ready for work because I felt so bad from my feet to my head. Something close to a hangover. Tylenol didn't touch it. My stomach was cramping and I couldn't stand the thought of eating anything solid for breakfast, so I grabbed an Ensure as I rushed out the door. By the time I got to work I was a wreck. I was nauseated, cramping, and I felt like I hadn't slept in days. I struggled through the morning, and I'm sure my poor boss was struggling, too. I had to keep getting up because a wave of nausea so bad would hit me that I would start sweating and feeling extremely lightheaded. What was bothering me the most, though was this horrible cramping in my stomach. Mainly on the right side. I know that it is normal to have cramping or cramping sensations when pregnant, and I have had that a few times, but not to this extent. I was hurting so bad I wanted to lie down and cry. Finally I called the doctor, which I HATE because I don't want to be a burden on anyone, especially my boss if they were to tell me to come on in. Which they did. So they did all the things they do to make sure that everything is the way it's supposed to be at 21 weeks of pregnancy including ANOTHER ultrasound. This is the fifth ultrasound to date. (Sorry Baby Ethan, but you can't go to college because Mommy and Daddy spent all your college money before you were even BORN!!!) Anyway, everything is fine and everything is like it should be. What I was experiencing was round-ligament and growing pains. I had them when I was pregnant with Brennan, and I recognized them then, but I guess because the baby is in a different spot and it's a totally different pregnancy I didn't recognize what it was AND it hurt a lot worse. To the point I was nauseas and couldn't eat. So the doctor told me to take some more Tylenol, get off my feet and lie down, and call back if it still persists after a couple of days. I like doctors orders of getting off my feet.

So, all that to say that just because you are in great shape and exercise regularly and run a marathon and then get pregnant, does not mean it will be a walk in the park. This second time around has been a real ride.... and I'm only halfway through it.

Stripping isn't so bad!

WALLPAPER that is. So I woke up on Saturday feeling not-so-well. I ended up doing absolutely nothing productive. About 8:00 Saturday night after taking Tylenol and feeling better, but extremely bored, and watching a marathon of HGTV, I decided to just start stripping wallpaper off the walls. I have wanted this wallpaper gone since we moved into this house. Why does anyone put wallpaper in bathrooms? Both of our bathrooms have wallpaper and both bathrooms have UGLY wallpaper. But, we've decorated around it and made the best of it. After 7 years of shower steam and humidity the wallpaper is peeling and just looking rough around the edges. Literally. The only reason we have not attempted removing the wallpaper is because both of our bathrooms in this house are pretty massive. Brennan's is not the standard size guest bathroom. It has double vanities, and a water closet, so that makes for a lot of walls to strip. So, I started stripping realizing there is no turning back. Lucky for me, they painted over the sheetrock instead of just applying the wallpaper to the sheetrock. So really, it's not so bad. Other than I can only do it for a couple of hours before my pregnant back and pregnant legs start to hurt. My husband has decided that this is the only project on our house that he does not want to take part in. So it may take me a few days to finish Brennan's bathroom. Then it will be ready for CHAD to paint. (He doesn't really trust me with paint or anything permanent such as superglue. He lectured me the other day before I used the superglue. Whatever.) So, if anyone ever needs wallpaper-stripping advice, you know who to call. I've got it down to an art. Plus I watch a lot of HGTV....

Mom: Protector from All Things Evil....

I have decided that for whatever reason, God does not want me to ever get a good night's sleep as long as I live. After my usual tossing and turning and frequent bathroom trips I had dozed off once again to be awoken by a hysterical child at 4:30. Obviously Brennan had had a nightmare. Apparently this was his first experience with a bad dream, and it was my first experience trying to calm the hysterics of a child who had just had a nightmare. So, to calm him down and reassure him there was nothing flying around his room (this was part of his dream) I crawled into his bed and lay there until he was sound asleep. Since I knew there was no way I would be going back to sleep for the rest of the morning, my mind began to think about the wonderful yet trying moments of being a mom.

Earlier in the day yesterday I had attempted to make a grocery store trip with Brennan. I'm just going to say this: The grocery store trip lasted about 20 minutes before I had to put my few groceries back and leave the store with a child who had pushed me to my breaking point. Needless to say there were certain consequences when we arrived home with no groceries and a fuming, red hot, pregnant, hormonal mom. It was so bad I had to call MY mom for some sort of moral support and reassurance that I WILL make it through my son's childhood.

So as I lay next to Brennan watching him sleep I began to think about all the things that come with being a parent. When I called my mom about the grocery store incident, one thing she told me was no matter how bad it seems sometimes, there will be a day that you would give anything for these days when they are little and learning and pushing their boundaries. And I began thinking that one day, Brennan won't need me when he has a bad dream. It broke my heart to hear him cry and get so upset at something beyond my control. He didn't quite understand the concept of having a nightmare and why he had one. But, that led me to think that there will be many things in his life that will happen for no rhyme or reason. Things that will upset him and make him cry. Things no one can control. All I can do is be his mom and protect him while I can from all that I can. Part of me wants him to stay this age so that I can still protect him from most things. And I'm glad I have these moments, as trying as they sometimes are. Last night, after he awoke from his dream he needed his mom and I think a part of me needed him, too.