A challenge....

So one thing I did while I was away on my mission trip, was commit to something financially that I otherwise would not have done without first discussing with my spouse. We've always had a sort of unspoken rule that when making a "big" purchase, we are to discuss it with each other. Well, you're probably wanting me to define "big". In our marriage, it is a $20 or more purchase. I know, $20 seems like a measly amount, but you have to understand that Chad and I were married at a young age and hardly had 2 nickels to rub together, and we have just always stuck to that agreement over the years. Let me get back to my financial commitment in a minute. For now, I need to offer some (hopefully) encouragement to someone who might need it.

This is not to share my business with you, or any financial issues with you. But, I hope to offer somebody something with any small amount of wisdom I may have gained through thick and thin over the past 8 years of marriage.

When Chad and I started out, we bought a house before we were married. He lived there from February until May when we were married. It was a brand new house, in a brand new neighborhood, and with all the perks for a first time home buyer in a "rural" community, we were able to buy a 3 bedroom/2 bath home for cheaper than apartment rent. Chad was a college graduate, but because his degree at the time was in such a broad area (business administration) he either had too much experience or not enough when it came to finding a job with his degree. So, he continued his college job full time as a teller at a bank. I do not mean to knock someone in the banking business, a teller is a great job and he loved it (mainly because he got to run his mouth and socialize all day) but it's not exactly a job that really "brings home the bacon." Especially when you have a VERY expensive college degree under your belt. I had just graduated from Hinds C.C. Nursing/Allied Health Center with my dental assisting certificate. I made almost twice as much as Chad when we first got married. He had been a college graduate for 2 YEARS with a bachelor's degree, and I had been employed 5 MONTHS with a dental assisting certificate.

We were sort of waiting, wishing, and hoping that Chad would find a job as the first year of marriage trudged on. Of course, I did sort of like to give him a hard time about being the breadwinner of the house, and what a tough job it was for me..... It took him about 9 months after we tied the knot of making his meager paycheck every 2 weeks before he decided to go back to school. And he had to go to his alma mater. The most expensive school around. But that's okay. We were just racking up MORE student loans and we would worry about them down the road. (Mississippi College LOVES us.)

In September of 2002 Chad and I purchased our first new/used car together. I hated his hoopty Thunderbird, he loved it. The odometer quit working and the car sounded like it was going to fall apart anytime you turned the steering wheel. Well, I decided it was time to move on. Let's just say, Chad and I got in the biggest fight EVER over the car purchase. And to this day, as much as Chad and I have been through, it is probably the biggest, loudest, harshest fight we have ever had. But, we still have that car, and Chad LOVES that car. It was our 2000 Camry we purchased. And his name is not even on the title. (At least it wasn't originally.) I went against everything he said to make that purchase. Would I ever do that again? HECK no. We didn't even know how we were going to make the payments. But at that stage in my life, I was all about the new car/new house. They were supposed to go together, right? Well, that's what I thought! Moving on......

So, then in 2003 Chad returned to school, and I got knocked up. Chad also started a job that he HATED at Hinds Community College. He didn't even need a college degree, but it was offering more than the teller position at the bank. At the time we had a few credit cards that I had opened to establish credit so I could buy a house with Chad. (I was very naive to the fact that you had to HAVE credit to GET credit.) Together we had about 4 or 5 credit cards that were not maxed out, but we did make purchases on them and had a remaining balance on most of them every month. We really thought nothing about having credit cards and making payments every month. It's the American dream, right? Borrow so you can borrow and have a white picket fence and a shiny new car and shiny new toys......It becomes a sticky, slimy pit.

In January of 2004, Chad got another job at the Mississippi State Tax commission (I was still making more money than him by about $100 a paycheck) and our church offered a Dave Ramsey course. I had never heard of Dave Ramsey, but I knew from the sound of what was being offered, that Chad and I needed to jump on it. Chad was about to be finished in May with his accounting degree, so we were going to have to start paying up, and Brennan was due at the end of May, and we knew we would have a hospital bill the size of Texas when it was all said and done. It was time to put on our grown-up underwear and deal with the small mess we had made financially. (And I do mean small. Chad and I have never gotten in over our heads, although, I could see how easy it would be for young couples to do.)

We finished the class, started a budget, and stayed the course. For about 5 months. Then the baby came, life continued to happen, and we just got off track. It happens. But, we had been educated thanks to Dave Ramsey, and we payed off all of our credit cards, payed a good chunk on the car, and the doctor's office, and we started a real savings account. Dave Ramsey recommends closing ALL credit cards and just having enough in savings to live on for 6 months to a year, in case someone were to lose a job in the family. We did not heed all of that advice. We had ONE joint credit card that we did NOT use. But, it was our safety net because we didn't have much in savings, nor were we strict about putting what we should have in our savings.

By the end of 2004 we were almost through paying off the Camry, but we still had student loans and the hospital bill to deal with. In 2005 our neighborhood sort of changed dramatically. And the housing market was doing extremely well, and we also knew we could make a LARGE amount of money on our house if we got out before the housing market went bust. Our house sold in 7 days and we got exactly what we asked for it. We made a nice chunk of change off of that first house. But, even though it was a great market, it was also a seller's market. Meaning, people could easily jack up the asking price on a house, and they could get almost what they were asking for. Chad and I searched high and low and couldn't find a house to agree on. There's just nothing like that first house, I guess. We looked all over the suburbs of Rankin County. The first house we came to in this town we both fell in love with. And this town was a rival of my town growing up, and I was convinced I would NEVER live here, nor would I send my kids to the schools in this town. Nothing but a bunch of backwoods rednecks. (However, I have learned that there isn't enough sugar in the world to try and sweeten the words I have now had to eat.)

So, when we came upon this modest, 4 year old home, it didn't take us long to realize that the seller's were asking way too much. We tried to counteroffer, but they didn't budge. Afraid we would lose the house we wanted so badly, we ended up paying nearly what they were asking for. Stupid? You bet. Would we do that again? Probably not. But, I lost my crystal ball somewhere along the way, and now we just have to go with what we feel and what we can agree upon. Fortunately we were able to put a big down payment on this house because we made so much off of our first home. But, it still doesn't quite take out the sting of our house note each month.

Well, 2005 came and went, first house sold, second house purchased, Chad started his job at Grantham Poole, LLC were he would remain until this past May, and he finally started making a good bit more than his wife. The next year sort of came and went also, but it was a rough year. There were a lot of things going on that I won't share, and in December of 2006, I was out of work for 6 weeks, with nothing to back up on. That's when I decided to work part-time. We had gotten through those 6 weeks better than we expected, but still by just the skin of our teeth. I sort of had this perfect job opportunity literally almost fall in my lap, and it was too good to pass up. Not only was it part-time, but it came with retirement benefits.

In 2007 Chad and I took what I had earned in my 401K from my first job, got penalized, and took some money out to pay for some things that we needed the money for, but just didn't have the extra. Again, was that stupid? Yep. Would I do it again? Sadly, I probably would. Hey, I'm human. Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do.

2008: Baby #2 is on the way. No maternity insurance, and very TERRIBLE health insurance. But, we felt it was time to have the second baby since nobody was getting any younger in this family. Bills pile up fast. Even though the hospital and the doctor's office gave me a nice discount, it still costs almost $10,000 to birth a baby, especially when it's a C- section.

2009 and 2010: Don't ask me where we sort of lost it. Again, we're human. Little things can add up to big things fast. Somewhere along the way we racked up credit card debt. However, keep in mind we never get in over heads and we still only have ONE credit card that is NOT maxed out. But, things did start to pile up that shouldn't have.

When Chad started his new job this summer, we immediately put his student loan payments on our budget right below our tithe so we could start paying it down. We had deferred the payments WAY longer than I am proud to admit. We have always tithed (except a few times during the years when we got off track) and now we have nearly $60,000 in student loan debt. Not that I think that's any of your business, but I would tell anyone who asked. It's not a huge secret. It is what it is. You can't exactly take your education back to a store and get a refund. Chad has also come a very long way. He's come from a job as a bank teller to the chief finance officer for a very thriving corporation.

But, last week, Chad came home with a budget. He listed out all of our bills individually, any of our donations we make to different charities/organizations, and our tithe. (Actually, our tithe comes out before anything.) What we have leftover is just that--leftover. One problem I have is not using cash. I just swipe my debit card, and let Chad balance the checkbook and deal with it. Starting September 1, I am going to a "cash only" system. I will have a grocery envelope, an "allowance" envelope (for eating out our buying coffee, or any other spontaneous buys). I will still continue to be a crazy coupon lady, and I will make sure that there is more than $1 leftover to our name at the end of the month. Dave Ramsey is a stickler for the envelope system, and the short time Chad and I lived out his advice, it actually WORKED.

So, back to my purchase I made without consulting my husband..... While I was in Nicaragua, I really saw things that I had back home, that were meaningless, yet somewhere along the way I thought I HAD to have it.... I go to a place like Nicaragua and realize I sometimes spend my money so selfishly. I'm not a big spender, but I do make purchases that I shouldn't and they add up mighty fast. I mean do I REALLY need 10 different pairs of flip-flops? On the last night of the trip, one of the missionaries who heads up BMDMI went through the different ways we could be financial supporters of BMDMI, which is actually based in Hattiesburg. All the missionaries, the Bible College, and the orphanage for sexually abused girls is financed by supporters of BMDMI. I decided in about half a millisecond that I wanted to commit to the cause of BMDMI. But, I guess I dream big. Instead of committing to something small that I KNEW wouldn't be a problem in our budget, I decided to be a 3 year member. (They have some name for it, but it's a loss for my brain as to what the official name is to someone who commits 3 years of financial support.) I knew Chad was going to get onto me, but I could easily defend the cause since I am a huge supporter of missions. And I also knew Chad could be easily swayed because it was going for a good, Christian organization. But, the level of commitment is outside of our comfort zone. But I have made a vow to myself, to Chad, and to God that I would do whatever means necessary to be able to continue to financially support this cause. If it means less impulse buying and more walking away from things that I don't need, then by golly, I am going to make it happen.

Chad and I have made a budget and a plan to have any remaining debt payed off within the next year. (Besides his student loans.) I also have a plan to try and save as much as I can to pay as much as I can towards my trip to Nicaragua this year.

I don't tell you my business just for entertainment purposes. But, I know a lot of people are struggling financially right now. Chad and I have come along way, made some stupid decisions, spent too much money, but now know how to better serve others with our finances. Our money is not ours to begin with. It is God's to use for His will and it's for us to be good stewards of. It's taken us 8 years, but I think we are slowly beginning to realize God's purpose in our finances is not to go from a hoopty to a Hummer, but to give back to Him and use it for His good. Not our selfish gain.

So, who will take this challenge with me? I'm not asking you to be a supporter of BMDMI, but if you don't tithe, take the challenge. If you do tithe, and your bills are paid at the end of the month, get a little outside your comfort zone. Give a little more than 10%. Or give to another charity or organization. Sweat it out for a few days, but then see how God will bless you beyond your imagination and use your finances for His Glory.