Small things used in big ways....

After completing my last blog entry, things only got more "exciting" for us. (And I don't necessarily mean exciting in a GOOD way, which is why it's in quotation marks... sort of an insert sarcasm statement.)

Yesterday we had an errand or two to run as a family of four. (Well, five if you include Mary baby.) Our destination was a lot out of the way and we got lost (sort of-- depending on who you ask) getting there. The "fun" started before we even pulled out of the garage and the van made a very strange sound cranking up. But, we just went on our merry little way. Neither Chad nor I can remember at what point we heard the other noise, but we both remember it as not being far from our home that we heard a popping noise. Our destination was about 20 miles away. We just both thought it was either one of the kids with their toys or something on the highway that our tire hit. Neither of us gave it another thought. After several miles and being lost, we pulled up to our destination only to realize that we had a flat tire. And by flat, I don't mean it had lost some air and was getting a little low. It was utterly and totally flat. It was only in the hot sun, with two kids and the frustration of the situation that I realized how so unfrustrated (Yes, I know, that's not a word, but it will be for now) I should become. Sitting in the hot van while my husband was trying to find the spare and change the tire was when I realized how very lucky we were. As Chad was changing the spare, he also realized that we had a broken lug nut on the wheel. Chad and I both swore that we heard a pop not far from home. How neither of us realized we were driving 60+ miles an hour on the interstate and we had a flat tire was beyond us. However, I consider it nothing short of a small (or big-- whichever way you decide to look at it) miracle. As in, God had His hand of protection wrapped around that minivan and delivered us safely to where we were going without a scratch or even an inkling of something being wrong. (He also delivered 2 good Samaritans in the form of store employees to our rescue in our time of need because Chad was having a hard time with the spare and getting the tire off the van.) We put the spare on only to realize that it was very low on air. And did I mention we were in the ghetto during all of this "excitement"?

Much later, as we were leaving, we cranked the van only for the dashboard to go totally haywire. Well, that could explain why we heard the noise in the garage when we left home. So, in the ghetto, with hungry kids, a low spare tire, and a van with the electronics on the fritz, we started a mission to find a gas station to air up the spare. Chad and I neither one had the nerve to even THINK about turning off the van in fear of being stranded at a ghetto fabulous gas station until someone could come rescue us. In the meantime I'm trying to hold myself together and not bawl my eyes out. I never verbalized what I was thinking. And what I was thinking was, "What is going to happen next, God?!" I knew if I said it out loud that God might use His sense of humor. I know He can read my thoughts, but there was just something about keeping my mouth shut that kept me at peace. I'm not one for testing the waters on things like that.

Turns out it's just our alternator and nothing major. But the fact that it happened in one eventful trip? Well, that was enough to complete nerves being wrecked for the entire week. Don't get me wrong. I still realized God had a hand in everything. And I kept thinking about the fact that not only were we driving around with a crusty old spare on our van, but the electronics were being wacky and we could end up on the side of the interstate with a dead van or busted spare tire, that God kept us safe earlier--- getting us completely to our destination with a flat tire safely-- He certainly wasn't going to abandon us afterwards. He was still going to deliver us to safety. Maybe with some damaged nerves, but safely nonetheless. However, it was a powerful reminder. God kept us safe by nothing short of a miracle but it was up to me as to how I accepted what he used in our few short hours. After the sonogram Thursday, yesterday's adventure was another tap on my shoulder from God.

I keep reflecting on all the things-- tiny and big--- that have happened throughout this year, and how God keeps using them for His glory and purpose. Even with the sadness and grief of losing my grandfather, it's so amazing how God continues to put things into place and into perspective for us. Especially with this pregnancy. We found out a week after my grandfather passed away that it was a girl. My grandfather had prayed for us to have a sweet little girl. Then we had the concern over the cyst on her brain. Which was totally gone by this last sonogram. And she is expected to be here on my grandfather's birthday. (And as long as we both remain healthy, my doctor has arranged to deliver her on that day.) My grandfather was used in a tremendous way by God in his years on earth. He left a lasting legacy, that hundreds, if not thousands of people, came to Christ through my grandfather's ministry and love for Christ. I have felt this baby girl is special in so many ways and God continues to show me by things big and small.

And to top it off, I have come to realize how special my grandfather really was. Well, not just him, but my grandmother. I've always known it, but since his passing away, I have been touched by so many different stories. Just Friday night my grandparents were both recognized at a local private school during a back- to -school ceremony. It was through my grandmother's prayers and God laying it on her heart for the need for this school over 40 years ago that she began to truly seek God and asked others to seek God over starting a private school based on biblical, Christian principles. And over 40 years later that school still thrives in this area. The school was once a part of the church that my grandfather shepherded for almost 25 years, but it is no longer one and the same. Things just keep happening that amaze me. Truly amaze me. There is more to come on this story-- but that will come later. But God has weaved this in and out of every ounce of good and bad that has happened through the course of this entire year. I feel confident that trials are still to come this year. It's just life. I am also confident that God will continue to remind me of His plan and His purpose and will never cease to amaze me with the things He can and WILL accomplish.

On a side note, after all the crazy happenings, Chad threw me a surprise birthday party last night. It was totally unexpected. And the reason it was so belated was because my birthday fell in a chaotic time of August with my friends being gone to Nicaragua, back to school, and then our church had dinner theater last night and Friday night, which is a big production for our church. So, after dinner theater, some of my friends surprised me with balloons, decorations, red velvet cake, and birthday presents. It was a good surprise and a good way to end the day that we had. As soon as I can figure out how to find the pictures I downloaded from my iPhone, I will share them on my blog. Chad pulled it off without me having a clue. I'm still trying to figure that one out, because he doesn't hide things very well.

All the way my Savior leads me............

So the few people who knew my little "secret" the past few weeks know that I would ultimately come here to blog about it. I have to. It's my therapy and my journal-- so to speak.

For those of you who don't know I will tell you my "secret" and the lesson learned.

Back in June when we had a sonogram done to find out that the baby was a she, they also found something else. There was a cyst on the baby's brain. It's called a choroid plexus cyst. It happens in about 1% of pregnancies, and even though it is somewhat rare, it is more common than you would think. And trust me, I did a lot of research on the subject of it as soon as I got home from that visit. When my doctor told me, she was not overly concerned about it all. She reassured us that she truly felt like it would disappear on it's own and that nothing would come from it. However, in the rare cases that these cysts appear and something ends up being wrong, then that one thing that could be wrong would turn out to be something major. It can indicate a chromosomal defect. Like Down's Syndrome or something worse. But at the time, the baby was growing like normal and all of her organs and limbs seemed to be there and functioning just like a healthy baby's would. But anyone that's ever been a parent knows the fear that comes along with having children. We worry about them before they are born, while they are being born, and for the rest of our years as parents. So, when I heard the word cyst and brain together in one sentence it implanted that little nagging seed of worry. But my sweet doctor was very reassuring which really helped ease mine and Chad's worry.

Of course, when I had that sonogram, it was just a week or so after my grandfather passed away. I did not have the heart to tell my mother. I wanted to, because I tell her most everything, but I just couldn't bear to put her through it knowing she would have to worry about it for another 2 months before our next sonogram. But some of her nearest and dearest friends are strong Christian people and I trusted them to be secret keepers, but most importantly to be prayer warriors and they were faithful in doing so. I also had my own close friends that I trusted with my concerns and they, too, were faithful in praying. I had also asked them to pray for peace of mind for Chad and me both. I knew I couldn't go the next 2 months worrying day and night over what might or might not be. And peace of mind I definitely got. I am a natural-born worrier. I worry over everything. Some will even label me a worry wart. I am. I get it from my mother. Which is why I couldn't tell her. As a matter of fact, the only person in our entire family-- on both sides--- who we told was Chad's grandmother. I'm not even sure why we told her.

I know that these cysts disappear on their own all the time in pregnancies that it occurs in. But I do not find it a coincidence that I had a problem with a cyst on my uterus in the beginning of the pregnancy, which caused concern for miscarriage during the first trimester, then a cyst on the baby's brain, and both of them disappeared totally on their own. I believe, without a doubt, that it was the power of prayer. I also believe that prayer gave Chad and me peace that we needed. Anyone that knows me, knows that I worry the fool out of something. And I never really did with either situation. I just asked those that I trusted to pray, and I myself prayed, and God gave me just what I needed to get through these past 27 weeks.

As I was getting ready to go to the doctor this morning, I became really nervous though. More nervous than I expected. I literally got down on my knees beside my bed and prayed for God's will to be done-- regardless of what that was-- and whatever that sonogram showed, that He would give us the mercy and grace to deal with it. But before that I had searched for a verse to ease my worry. The one I came across was one that our preacher uses all the time in His sermons.

Hebrews 4:16

¹⁶ Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.

It was just that verse as simple and short as it seemed that was just what I needed to ease my worry. Because it was then I did approach His throne of grace, and with confidence. Confidence that my God is a powerful, Sovereign healer and nothing is too big or small for Him. If I would only show that my trust lies in Him, He will give healing. And that's not to say that God will heal our diseases just because we ask Him to. But He gives us healing to get through our diseases and mercy and grace for each moment we suffer, hurt, or worry. He may not always heal us physically, but He can certainly heal our hearts.

It also reminds me of one of my favorite songs. We played this at my grandfather's funeral. It's a modern twist on the lyrics to the classic hymn "All the Way My Savior Leads Me".

All the way my Savior leads me;
Who have I to ask beside?
How could I doubt His tender mercy,
Who through life has been my guide?

All the way my Savior leads me;
Cheers each winding path I tread,
Gives me grace for every trial,
Feeds me with the living Bread.

You lead me and keep me from falling.
You carry me close to Your heart.
And surely Your goodness and
Mercy will follow me.

All the way my Savior leads me;
O, the fullness of His love!
O, the sureness of His promise
In the triumph of His blood!
And when my spirit clothed immortal
Wings it's flight to realms of day,
This my song through endless ages:
Jesus led me all the way!
Jesus led me all the way!

All the way my Savior leads me.
All the way my Savior leads me.

A time for it all............

Today is the day. The same day I have been dreading since......well, probably since birth. The day I thought would never get here because I would never live to be so OLD. Yes, it's my birthday. I am officially in the "dirty thirty" club and I am not liking how it sounds to admit to myself that I'm 30. I know what most are thinking--- 30 is still so YOUNG. Thirty is one of the best years of life. Yes, I've heard it all. It may be true. And quite frankly, my problem is not being 30, but how fast 30 got here. Where in the HECK did my 20's go? Not that I would want them back........

So, to put a new perspective on "aging"---- Time has flown faster than I can even comprehend--- I've been really upset about entering a new decade of birthdays, but then again, like I said, I wouldn't want to go back and do my 20's over for ANYTHING. Those were some mighty rough years with a lot of rough spots and I'm surprised I only emerged with just a few emotional (maybe some mental?) scars. I married young, started having babies young (a whopping 22 when I gave birth to Brennan), and I started LIFE young. I was bound to make a few mistakes. However, the mistakes I made hurt --very deeply-- a lot of people. Both directly and indirectly. Regardless of anything I've done and the things I still struggle with, I am sort of relieved to see my 20's go. It's sort of a love/hate feeling I have towards now being 30. I guess I owe it most to my family, especially my husband, for sticking by me through every single stupid thing I've done and for not giving up on me.

My friend, Adrienne, sent me a text today wishing me a happy birthday and asking what my plans were for my special day. To which I replied how I would be filling my day with the usual "mommy" duties---- taking Brennan to swim lessons, taking the dog to the vet, taking Brennan for a haircut (and an eyebrow wax for me), and then meet the teachers tonight at school. (I didn't include the parts about bathing the dog, scrubbing the tub, toilets, and sinks, and washing a load of laundry). I guess to me that is the perfect way to celebrate my birthday, as dull as it sounds. Being home with my 2 children and doing the things that God has called me to do (even as small and insignificant as cleaning a toilet.) Don't get me wrong-- a weekend on the beach with a fruity little drink, or a nice relaxing dinner with a bottle of bubbly would be FABULOUS right now. But, dreaming is still nice.

So, being 30 isn't so bad--- it's just how fast it got here. I never thought I'd see the day and now suddenly it's almost come and gone and each second is a second I should cherish with my children--- because before I know it, THEY will be turning 30 and I will still be scratching my head wondering where the time went. I am thankful for this new decade of birthdays. Each day of my 20's was a stepping stone (some ridiculously painful) to getting me to where I am now, and changing me into who I am becoming. I know God's not through with me yet. He still has some mighty big plans in store--- otherwise I'd be a mess right now.

I will miss my grandfather's call on my birthday today. It's one of those phone calls that I admit I always took for granted. I took for granted a lot of things when he was still alive. I'm sort of secretly grieving over that part 2 months later. But, I know if he could, he would be wishing me the best birthday yet and he would give me his sweet little card with a sweet note inside like always.

For this day of birthdays and reflection, I am reminded of Ecclesiastes 3. A powerful reminder from the Bible of how fleeting life on earth is and how God calls for good everything under the sun that is His creation.

Ecclesiastes 3

A Time for Everything

¹ There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:

² a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
³ a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
⁴ a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
⁵ a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
⁶ a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
⁷ a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
⁸ a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.

⁹ What do workers gain from their toil? ¹⁰ I have seen the burden God has laid on the human race. ¹¹ He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet^[a] no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end. ¹² I know that there is nothing better for people than to be happy and to do good while they live. ¹³ That each of them may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all their toil—this is the gift of God. ¹⁴ I know that everything God does will endure forever; nothing can be added to it and nothing taken from it. God does it so that people will fear him.

On a side note--- Brennan starts SECOND GRADE Monday. Can you believe it? I know, I can't either. I'm usually in Nicaragua this time of summer, so I have not ever been able to go to meet the teacher night. This is a first for me! I'd still rather be in Nicaragua because I'm sure I will get to know his teacher VERY well by the end of this school year. I am in shock over having a 2nd grader in this family!!!

Hope everyone is enjoying these last days of summer. It has been a scorcher for this pregnant girl! Fall cannot get here fast enough. That's my favorite time of year anyway. I am counting down the days!!!!

Randoms (including but not limited to birthdays and names)

I'm not here to whine, but since this is my own personal space, I will mention just a few things here that may SEEM like whining...... and it probably is.............

This pregnancy has been so different than the first 2. I don't know if it's because I am carrying a girl, or I am just getting old-- or maybe it's a combination of both. I was 22 when I had Brennan. There's a big difference in being in my early 20's versus being 30 and having another child in between. There has not been ONE day that I felt good this entire 24 weeks. I'm not complaining, but then again, I am. My body hurts all day, everyday. If I eat anything for lunch-- big or small-- I feel even worse afterwards. And I'm assuming it's because she is a SHE, she sits lower than my boys ever did. Even when I don't need to tinkle, if she moves at all, my bladder is suddenly awoken. And sneezing? Forget about it. And I have had no energy whatsoever. It doesn't matter if it's morning, noon, or not. Or if it's the weekend or a weekday. If I'm at home or at work. I feel just like I did in that queasy, tired first trimester.

Let's talk about "cankles" for a minute. Okay, let's not. It will sear an image in your brain that might give you nightmares. However, I don't get them everyday. Just when I've been on my feet all day. That's also when my entire body reminds me that my 30th birthday is looming over my head like a big, dark raincloud, ready to unload a nasty storm.

We can talk about cravings. I have become a sucker for Magic Shell ice cream topping. I am not an ice cream eater-- hardly ever eat the stuff. But lately that has been my bedtime snack-- mint chocolate chip ice cream with Magic Shell fudge topping. Don't give me any regular chocolate syrup. Give me the good stuff. I've also had cravings for Pop-Tarts. Again, I don't eat Pop-Tarts. EVER. But I have found myself eating them for breakfast. I had the same craving with Brennan. I also gained 50 pounds with Brennan. I'm trying to cool it a little bit. However, this is the last time I intend on being pregnant, so therefore I am trying to justify it and enjoy it. Hopefully nursing will help shed any unwanted pounds after pregnancy. I nursed Ethan and was back in my normal jeans a week after I gave birth. Brennan was strictly formula fed and it took me a whole year to get back down to even trying to squeeze into my pre-pregnancy pants.

Changing subjects: I requested a Kelly's Kids catalog in the mail and got it yesterday. Oh. My. Goodness. There is no way to describe how ridiculously cute these clothes are. I told Chad he better take a second job flipping burgers to afford the clothes I'm going to be buying for our little princess. And their holiday clothes??!! To die for. I'm already thinking about our Christmas cards. And yes, I've found the perfect outfits in that catalog for the boys and the baby.

Speaking of birthdays earlier, mine is looming around the corner. Two weeks from today. The big 3-0. And no, I am not looking forward to it. At all. There is very little I can think of to soften the blow of entering a new decade of birthdays. However, someone better get me a cake. I'm going to drown my sorrows in cake and ice cream. And someone better get me a good birthday present. And I want more than one. I want to go back to being 6 years old and being swamped in gifts I don't need. Let me revisit that part of my childhood and be selfish for one day. Yes, it is selfish. But, presents may be cheaper than therapy.

One last subject. And this is the last I'm going to talk about it until the little princess enters into this world-- if we change our minds (again) I'm just going to announce it after the birth certificate is officially signed. However, I really think this one is going to stick. Oh, I'm talking about names here. When Chad and I were in Natchez we had agreed on Mary Ashley as her name. Then the more I said it, the more I didn't like it. Then when I heard other people say it, it just didn't have that ring to it. Since then Chad and I have been discussing the names. Every. Single. Day. Drum roll please.......................................................... Her name will be Mary Avery Clayton Miller. Of course, she will go by Mary Avery. That's it. It's final. It's non- take-backable. I'm done with the name discussion. Very much over it.

Do Everything.............

Recently I've been hearing a new song on the radio by Steven Curtis Chapman. I absolutely love this song. The first time I heard it I was on the way to work and things had been really hectic in my life and I was running late (as always) and stressed out. When I heard the beginning lyrics I thought, "Wow. He is describing my life." In case you haven't heard the song here are the words:

You’re picking up toys on the living room floor
for the 15th time today
Matching up socks and sweeping up lost
Cheerios that got away
You put a baby on your hip and color on your lips
and head out the door
And while I may not know you I bet I know you
Wonder sometimes does it matter at all
Well let me remind you it all matters just as long as you

Do everything you do to the glory of the One who made you
Cause He made you to do
Every little thing that you do to bring a smile to His face
And tell the story of grace
With every move that you make
And every little thing you do

OOoh ooooh oooooh

Maybe you’re that guy with the suit and tie
Maybe your shirt says your name
You may be hooking up mergers, cooking up burgers
But at the end of the day

Little stuff big stuff in between stuff
God sees it all the same
And while I may not know you I bet I know you
Wonder sometimes does it matter at all
Well let me remind you it all matters just as long as you do

Everything you do to the glory of the One who made you
Cause He made you
To do every little thing that you do to bring a smile to His face
And tell the story of grace with every move that you make
And every little thing that you do

Well maybe you’re sitting in math class
Maybe on a mission in the Congo
Maybe you’re working at the office
Singing along with the radio
Maybe you’re dining at a five star
Or feeding orphans in Myanmar
Anywhere and everywhere you are
Whatever you do it all matters
So do what you do and don’t ever forget
to do

Everything you do to the glory of the One who made you
Cause He made you to do
Every little thing that you do to bring a smile to His face
And tell the story of grace as you do
Everything you do to the glory of the One who made you
Cause He made you to do
Every little thing that you do to bring a smile to His face
And tell the story of grace with every move that you make
And every little thing that you do

Ooh oooooh
Every little thing you do

It's quite a catchy little song, but the words are so powerful. It's puts a whole new perspective on everyday tasks that sometimes seems so mundane or insignificant or repetitive or that just plain wear on you. I can't tell you how many times a day I pick up socks or underwear or Legos out of the middle of the floor. (Underwear [my children's-- not mine] ends up in the strangest places around our house. Am I the only mom who feels that way?)

However these words are a simple reminder that whether you are THAT mom nagging your kids about putting their dirty clothes where they belong and picking up Legos that you've stumped your toe on five times in 2 hours, or whether you're a high-powered executive in a fancy office making decisions and running a multi-million dollar company, at the end of the day the only thing that matters is how we've used our day for God's glory.

Our office relocated the week of July 4th holiday. The weeks leading up to the move and the week of the move were very hectic. Once we got moved in, our first week in the office went smoother than expected, but it was still very busy. I had been working more than usual and had only been getting 10 minute lunches and wasn't leaving the office until well after my normal quitting time. At one point I started feeling sorry for myself. After all, I am pregnant. What other excuse do I need to want to go home and kick my feet up? At the end of the first week, my boss, who is a devout Catholic, had a priest come in and bless the office. I really admire the reverence that Catholics take to so many things. As the priest was saying his blessings and reading out of the new testament, it was very humbling. It was perfect ending to a crazy week. He referred to being the hands and feet of Christ and prayed that we would use our gifts to reach out to others so that we could show the love of Christ. Now, I am simple minded, and I already know that I have been equipped with certain gifts by God and I am to use them to the fullness of my ability. But when I am tired and grumpy and people are wearing on my nerves, I tend to push that in the back of my mind and think about ME.

And honestly, I work for a man who is a perfect example of showing the love of Christ to others. Sometimes I get frustrated when he wants to do a root canal at 11:45 (fifteen minutes before lunch) --and not that it happens often, but it does happen occasionally---but I realize he's there to get these people out of pain and show mercy and compassion to those who come to him for help in their times of need (dental needs). I have really come to admire him in the years I've worked for him and the more I see him reach out to others, the more it makes me WANT to have a better attitude about what I do and how I go about doing it.

This weekend the city held a dental mission called "Missions of Mercy". It was a 2 day event and over 80 dentists and 100 dental volunteers came and volunteered their time to provide free dental care to those who may have been in need. I was not able to go Friday, but saw it on the news. Since my friends are gearing up and getting excited about going to Nicaragua, I have been really missing out on that this year. After I saw the news, I felt that God would not leave me alone about offering my time on Saturday here in town. So, I talked to my boss on Friday who seemed very grateful to have his own personal assistant come on Saturday and help him out. It turned out to be a very big blessing for me. When I arrived at 5:45 a.m., the line was already wrapped around the building. Unlike Nicaragua, we did a lot of restorations instead of strictly extractions. All but one of the patients we saw were very grateful and we even received a blessing from one. The one person we saw who had a bad attitude really but a bad taste in our mouths. But, it was that one seed of doubt that Satan will sometimes use to try and get the best of your day. I'm pretty sure that most of us could think of other things we could be getting done on a weekend instead of standing on concrete floors in the bare essentials of dentistry and making do with the supplies and resources we had. I really wanted to tell this lady what I was TRULY thinking the moment she started complaining, but it was the wrong attitude to have. We were all there for a reason and that reason was to reach out to those in need and to give God the glory for blessing us enough to provide help to others who were not as fortunate financially. It was an exhausting day, but at the end of the day it counted for something because I did what God commanded me to do, and I, as well as about 200 others, were the hands and feet of Christ. (Of course, it also reminded me that even if I were given a green light to go to Nicaragua, I would not be able to physically handle the heat and the exhaustion-- that was God's way of continuing to lighten my disappointment of missing out on my beloved mission trip this summer.)

So moral of the story: It doesn't matter if you work at McDonald's, at home, at a big company, at a little company, or if you volunteer your time--- Your attitude should be a reflection of Christ and it really does matter to the most important One what you do and how you do it. He's equipped you with exactly what you need to bring glory and honor to His name and His name alone.

Philippians 2:14

¹⁴ Do everything without grumbling or arguing,

1 Corinthians 10:31

³¹ So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.

And a little disclaimer on my part: I still have to have about 30 minutes alone when I get home from work so I can unwind and not bite everyone's head off who tries to converse with me. And it's not always from a hectic day of work, but driving down Highway 49 S during rush hour. I wish I had a tank to get me to and from work.

Being a leader.........

After about a month of not doing devotions with Brennan (we finished his devotion book right around the time things happened with my grandfather AND our office was in the process of moving and ashamedly it got put on the back burner) I finally made my way to the bookstore to pick up a new one this week. Picking out a devotion book is sort of tricky for Brennan right now because he's in between the ages of what these books are appropriate for. Some are for really small kids with 2 little sentences and then some are almost more appropriate for teenagers even though they are not all labeled that way. I went ahead and got one for what is probably geared for preteens, and a few of them have seemed a little hard to understand. Which is okay because I can explain it the way he can understand it. But it requires actual Bible time-- opening the Bible and reading a passage out of it, so I like that about it.

The second night of reading was titled "That Sounds like Work". The gist of it was how sometimes when we are put in leadership positions (the storyline had to do with a girl being on student council and having to volunteer her time helping out in the community and not always doing the "fun" things associated with being in an important position) we sometimes lose our focus and think it's all about being big and important instead of what leadership is REALLY about-- which is actually serving others. In today's standards it's hard to put leadership and service in the same category. As much as I hate to bring politics in this post, it can definitely be said for our country. Over the last century it seems that our politicians, from a local level to a national level have truly lost focus and what leadership really means. Even our presidency has almost become a joke.

I guess it got me thinking about politician's because it's all you see when you drive in your car. Signs are on every street corner, littering the highway, and honestly, just plain annoying. I consider myself a staunch conservative, yet Republicans and Democrats alike are all full of hot air. Somewhere along the line, the leadership of this country stopped being about serving the people that make up this nation and more about feeding their selfish desires and seeing how much there is to financially gain. It's really quite sad and this nation has made a mockery out of what our founding fathers put into writing.

I know these days it is more common for people to be so adamant to separate church and state in our government, which is very sad. But the verses that were in Brennan's devotion the other night really got me to thinking about how we as humans have truly lost our focus in servant hood and leadership together:

Mark 10:35-45

The Request of James and John

³⁵ Then James and John, the sons of Zebedee, came to him. “Teacher,” they said, “we want you to do for us whatever we ask.”

³⁶ “What do you want me to do for you?” he asked.

³⁷ They replied, “Let one of us sit at your right and the other at your left in your glory.”

³⁸ “You don’t know what you are asking,” Jesus said. “Can you drink the cup I drink or be baptized with the baptism I am baptized with?”

³⁹ “We can,” they answered.

Jesus said to them, “You will drink the cup I drink and be baptized with the baptism I am baptized with, ⁴⁰ but to sit at my right or left is not for me to grant. These places belong to those for whom they have been prepared.”

⁴¹ When the ten heard about this, they became indignant with James and John. ⁴² Jesus called them together and said, “You know that those who are regarded as rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their high officials exercise authority over them. ⁴³ Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, ⁴⁴ and whoever wants to be first must be slave of all. ⁴⁵ For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”

Verses 44 and 45 say it all in just 2 sentences. Our God of gods came down and humbled Himself before man. Not only did he spend a life serving others, but He came and suffered and took an eternity's worth of sin for an eternity's worth of people and died for it all.

Serving others and leading others should all be wrapped up in one neat little package. Together. You shouldn't be able to have one without the other. Why has it become so complicated?

Natchez and free breakfast entertaining......

Chad and I returned from our first trip to Natchez together. It was our overdue anniversary getaway-- since my grandfather became sick around our anniversary in May.

Natchez is a neat city. We had a really good time, ate some good food, and burned slap up. What else do you expect in Mississippi summers?

Above is the drive up to Longwood-- we toured 3 of the mansions while we were there. I love history and wish I had more time and focus to study up on history. These houses and the histories behind them fascinated me. But, Longwood was my favorite. If you ever make a trip to Natchez, Ms, be sure and make that one of your stops.

It started being being built before the Civil War by workers from the north. It is the largest octagonal house ever built. Only problem is that it was never finished. When the war began, the workers literally dropped their tools and headed out of the south back to the north. You can still see their tools where they dropped them and left and there are even paintbrushes still stuck to the wall on one of the floors. It was supposed to be a 30,000 square foot house with a total of 6 floors. The basement is the only floor that was finished. The basement alone is 10,000 square feet (you could put 5 of my houses in the basement.) But, they used it as their living quarters for the remainder of Mrs. Nutt's life. Dr. Nutt (the homeowner) died shortly after the war broke out and his wife lost every dime they had (they were both millionaires , even in 1860-- one of them was worth 1.5 million and the other 3 million---and yes, that was in the 1850/60 standard of monetary value.) Their money was invested in Confederate currency and after the war broke out, all of it lost it's value. So the widow Nutt ended up with 8 kids and not a dime to their name.

The house has a little bit of an eerie feel. It's in the middle of 90 acres, and the living quarters in the basement is beautiful, but there is a staircase that leads up to the rest of the empty, unfinished house. Call me crazy, but I would have been a little creeped out living in that big of house and having an staircase that just opened up to an unfinished house and to the rest of the world. But, that was back in the day when they slept with their windows open to get fresh air. I guess they didn't have scary movies to put creepy thoughts into their heads.

There are many other AMAZING details about this house that I could go on and on about, but you will have to visit yourself and see exactly what I am talking about. I told Chad that even unfinished, it should be considered the 8th wonder of the world.

Anyway, photography was not allowed in the basement where the family lived, but up above you could take as many pictures as you wanted of the unfinished mammoth of a house.

One of the side porches at Longwood. I just thought it looked so cozy.

This is on the first true floor looking up.

One of the places the workers literally dropped and left everything. Paint cans, gasoline cans, ect.

The front door at Longwood.

This is where we had dinner on Friday night. Everyone knows the legend of the King's Tavern. Jealous wife kills husband's mistress and a jeweled dagger and 3 skeletons were found after one of the chimneys collapsed. Many different versions to that story. But, it is fun to see "Madeline's room." And this is the oldest building in Natchez.

Rosalie. The second house we toured. I really wish they would allow photography. These houses are breathtaking on the inside. And the details about the inside and some of the pieces of furniture and architecture are fascinating.

The Natchez Grand. This is the hotel we stayed in, which overlooks the Mississippi River.

Natchez is a town (unlike New Orleans) that shuts down sort of early. There isn't much to do in the nightlife unless you go to a bar or to listen to a band at one of the restaurants. After Chad and I had dinner, we sat and watched the sunset. Really beautiful. I took lots of pictures of it. How often do any of us really stop and take the time to watch the sun set? I highly recommend it.

Chad and I found a carriage ride still in operation after dark, so we decided instead of turning in at 7:45, we would tour the town of Natchez in a carriage. I took lots of pics, but didn't upload them on here. Above is the First Presbyterian Church. All the churches in downtown are just gorgeous.

This morning we went in St. Mary's Basilica . Wow. There was such a sense of reverence in a church like that. And it was one of the most beautiful churches I have ever seen.

This is the Guest House. Now a bed and breakfast, it once belonged to Dr. Nutt and his wife (the owners of Longwood) as their town home. This is one of the things Mrs. Nutt had to sell after they went broke.

This is Stanton Hall at night. This was the 3rd home we toured before we left today. One of the rooms in that house was my favorite rooms out of all 3 houses. It was GORGEOUS.

Ready to turn in for the night!

The view from our hotel room when we woke up.

Stanton Hall in daylight. We ate lunch at the Carriage House, which is on the same property. The Carriage House had great food. They are famous for their Mint Juleps--- a southern delicacy (wink, wink)--- but of course, preggo just had water with a twist of lemon and Chad had his normal sweet tea. They sure did look refreshing though.

Our only souvenirs were for the baby. I will not tell you how much we paid for this dress, but I feel it was well worth it. It's not very often you find Colonel Reb anymore. And I'm certainly not buying a dress with a black bear across it. Chad had a moment of weakness and really, and I mean REALLY splurged on this dress. I bought it in a size 2 so maybe she can get a little more wear out of it.

There was a children's boutique that was very upscale and depending on who you are, either VERY affordable or unaffordable. For us, it was not an affordable place to be leisurely shopping. But, they just happened to have ALL of their clothes on sale for 40%. If Chad would not have been with me, I could have done some major damage. I fell in love with the outfit above. Since it was on sale, the sticker shock wasn't quite so painful. I also bought a matching bow. Hush your mouth.

Daddy also had to buy her first pair of shoes. Handpicked by Daddy himself.

Fun times in Natchez. Next time we will go when the weather is a little more merciful.

This morning we had such an entertaining breakfast: Apparently this couple had spent the night together after one too many drinks. He was a show-off. She was dressed in very little for 8:30 in the morning. His voice carried. LOUDLY. Apparently, neither of them remembered much about the night before, other than they had a little too much swagger in their wagons, and he was telling her a little about himself. LOUDLY. (Did I say that already?) He grew up (these are his words) "privileged and with a silver spoon in his mouth". His dad "is a very prominent, well-known doctor in his hometown of Jackson". Life was "very tough because Jackson is such a hard place to grow up in. Everyone is superficial". Apparently it just depends on what side of the tracks in Jackson you grew up in. He went on and on and on about himself. Chad and I about died. I swear I almost threw up my scrambled eggs and orange juice. And she wasn't much better. Then they were trying to decide "where to go from here". He didn't want to "be awkward or anything". But, "he really had a great time last night". (Even though he admitted "What exactly happened last night?) By the end of breakfast he was checking her phone--- yes, I said checking her phone--- because he just wanted to see what kind of apps she had on her phone. He "always likes to see what other kind of apps people have on their phones to make sure he's not missing anything cool". As they left, she went to the drink station to refill her drink, and he walked over to her and sniffed her. I guess he was trying to be smooth and all, but it was the uncoolest thing I have ever seen. Free entertainment at breakfast. I guess it doesn't get much better than that. However at one point I really wanted to go ask them to take this very "private" conversation back to the privacy of whatever room they came from.