Tuesday, October 25, 2011
Radical Ambition.....
On top of that, (I don't think it's a coincidence on the timing of "Holy Ambition" and the following) I started listening to "Radical" by David Platt. I had given the book on cd to Chad for Father's Day. Most of our church and leaders had read the book, but as always, I was a step behind. I began to listen to it on the way to work every morning a few weeks ago. "Radical" focuses on the CORE of sharing the gospel, and getting back to the root of sharing our faith in the same way that Jesus did. It has definitely been an eye opener. I really recommend the book "Radical" to anyone who has a heart for furthering the kingdom of Christ. And if you are a Christ follower, that should include you.
In the meantime, between those two books/studies, God has laid something on my heart that I haven't shared with anyone yet. Not even my own husband. Sometimes I get these really silly ideas that seem great at the time and end up being a flop. (Take for example all those crafts I pinned on Pinterest with the great idea that I could do ALL of them!) But, this is a lot deeper and a lot bigger than any craft on Pinterest. This is something HUGE. Something that my thought process can't even digest right now. I just know that something has been laid something on my heart and I won't know if it's a God thing or a me thing until it's covered in prayer. I know if it's a God thing, He won't leave me alone about it (as my preacher once told me). And I also know that things will fall into place with prayer and faith. If it's a me thing, it will turn into another one of those silly ideas that I thought was a good idea at one time. But so far, I don't feel like this is a me thing. Which is why I'm so reluctant to share it (I know, it sounds silly that if it IS a God thing, then why am I reluctant to share it?). I just need you to commit to pray. It's nothing that can possibly take shape any time soon. It's just not possible. (Well, I do know that God's will is always different and it WILL happen when He wants it to happen, so I guess it IS possible--- never question the ability of God's timing--- I have been foolish enough before to think I can). I just think he is preparing my heart and asking me to share it with others soon so that their hearts can possibly be prepared for something so big. So, once I can get my own prayers in order and my thoughts right about this tugging at my heart, I will ask that you please send up a few prayers. The last thing I want to do is ignore something that God is commanding me to do. (Something our sermon was preached on Sunday---and I felt like God was directly speaking to ME, which is why I don't think all of this is coincidence or a me thing.)
I will say that it is a ministry opportunity. And something I never thought I would ever find myself getting too involved in. Who knows? In 6 months, this may be just one more blog post added to the hundreds of others or this may be just a little nudge to get the ball rolling. We can just say that for me this is a Radical Ambition.....
And I will add that I have the most awesome group of people in my Sunday school class that all have a true heart and desire for ministry opportunities. They get on fire for things and I feel like each one of them would be huge part of this-- once I share it!
Sunday, October 23, 2011
Just a few pics.....
These are a just a few pics that a friend of mine took for us after my baby shower a few weeks ago. I really didn't want pictures made of me and my fat self, but I knew (especially with this being our 3rd and final child) that I would regret not having any "belly" pictures made. So, I gave in and let her take some pics. She did a great job and they turned out so good (considering the subject matter being photographed). So, here are just a few out of about 300.




Friday, October 21, 2011
Voting on 26.......
Moving on. I have been trying so hard to keep my opinions to myself on the subject matter I am about to bring up. Especially with Facebook and seeing so many other people's opinions on the subject, it is so hard to keep my mouth shut. So I decided to come here to my own personal blog where one can choose to read it or not and where I hope no one will try and start some sort of political debate with me over the subject. I am just like every free thinking American with the right to vote and state my opinion openly. But this subject has become a very sore one for me. I am so sickened by American values and how human life even needs to be "defined" these days. Oh, yes, in case you don't know what I'm referring to-- or in case you live under a rock or are from somewhere other than Mississippi-- I am referring to the statewide initiative Amendment 26 that is being voted on in the general election on November 8.
Again, in case you need enlightenment as to what this is, simply put, and I do mean simply, because it is posted on the ballot just as this: "Should the term 'person' be defined to include every human being from the moment of fertilization, cloning, or the functional equivalent thereof?"
That's it. That's EXACTLY what appears on the ballot. There are those who think that this will outlaw birth control. False statement. Proposition 26 does not OUTLAW birth control. It simply just doesn't support it. The only form of "birth control" that it will outlaw is the "morning after" pill. And one thing in 26 that a lot of people are having problems with and have decided to vote "no" on the ballot is because of the rape and incest issue. In my opinion, a child conceived is still a child conceived. Human life is human life. EVERYTHING under the sun is God's creation. E.V.E.R.Y.T.H.I.N.G. How many times does the Son of God state how valuable we are as human beings? God takes care of the birds in the air, so why wouldn't he take care of His own children? The first book, the first chapter of the Bible:
Genesis 1:27
27 So God created mankind in his own image,
in the image of God he created them;
male and female he created them.
I can state my opinion all day on how strongly I feel against voting no. Am I for stem cell research? Absolutely not. Am I for destroying frozen embryos? Nope. I think a lot of people against proposition 26 are afraid of the unknown and what they think this amendment will bring about. From the moment of conception, life begins. There are no "accidents". The God who created this universe with His very hands and breathed life into man knows us before we were even knitted together in the womb. (Jeremiah 1:5) Children are one of the ULTIMATE gifts from God. God treasures our children most of all. He even instructs us to be child-like in our faith.
Matthew 19:14
14 Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.”
Yes, I've educated myself on this subject. Yes, I believe the pro-choice people are using scare tactics to make this something it just isn't. I can really get on my soapbox here, but I have said enough. And I'm sure there are those who will read this and disagree with everything I've said. I have carried 3 children and am about to give birth to the 3rd. There is NOTHING more miraculous than growing life inside the womb, just as God intended, and bringing that life into this world. Before this baby even had limbs or defined facial features, she had a heartbeat. A heartbeat. The ultimate sign of life in a human being. You can educate yourself if you need to:
Friday, September 30, 2011
Pictures and Prayers.....
Tomorrow I have a baby shower and I am SO excited. My Sunday school class is throwing the shower for me. Tuesday I went and had a mani-pedi done and had my nails on my feet and hands painted pink just for the occasion. Afterwards we have a friend taking some belly pictures-- since this is my LAST pregnancy (yes, ladies and gentlemen, you read that here) and our only girl, I know I will regret not having any belly pictures. We are going to make it a family affair and have the boys and Chad included.
And on another subject: There are so many people that I know of that are hurting, sick, scared, or in pain. I hope that these people don't mind me listing their business, but I know that they would appreciate any and all prayers you can offer. (Listed in no particular order)
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
Sad face........
I realize that there are many, MANY people out there who are not able to have children for whatever reason. And I in no way mean to sound insensitive or hurt anyone. I am grateful for the gift that God has given me by allowing 3 children into conception and so far having healthy pregnancies and children. But, with all due respect to anyone who may find my next statement offensive-- I mean NO disrespect nor do I mean to say something that may really hurt someone, but I am totally over being pregnant. I really am. I know that God has blessed me beyond measure, but I also feel that this pregnancy has been AWFUL and I think (no, I am CONVINCED) that this is God's way of telling me that 3 kids is all I need and can handle. This is coming from someone who 10 years ago wanted FIVE kids. Not only am I an emotional DISASTER 90% of EVERY SINGLE DAY lately, but I am dealing with a few aches and pains that haven't always been there. I realize that conceiving a third child was a choice Chad and I made as a married couple, and I wouldn't trade this pregnancy for anything. But I never, ever, ever want to do it again.
My emotions feel very raw lately and my patience has worn so thin I don't think the word "patience' exists in my vocabulary anymore. It doesn't matter where I am or who I am with--- some days I feel like I want to snap the necks of everyone around me just because they are breathing the same air as me. I have been very difficult to live with (maybe you all should stop and pray for Chad RIGHT NOW). Crying over everything is an understatement. And what I am about to say, I hope none of you take the wrong way. I don't even like my oldest child lately. (YES, I love that boy with all my heart, but I just don't like him lately.) We've sort of been dealing with second grade a little harder than any other grade. He has an EXCELLENT teacher. And we have homework almost every night, vocabulary words and tests, spelling words and tests, and math problems and tests. Brennan has a lot of MY side of the family's genes and he loves to argue. He will NEVER admit to being wrong and he argues relentlessly. He's also VERY smart-mouthed. If you told him the grass was green, he would find a way to try and convince you that the grass was not green and why he thought that. If you tell him to do something and do it now, he argues about having to do it and why he doesn't feel like he should have to get that done right then. Doing homework drags out the bad in all of us at night. If he misspells a word, or reads it wrong in a book, or adds his math problem wrong, instead of simply accepting that he got it wrong he ARGUES about why he is right. Yesterday he had the audacity to tell Chad (and I can't remember his exact wording) that Chad didn't know his math skills very well therefore Brennan was right and Chad was wrong. I. LOST. IT. Right then. Never mind the fact that Chad has a math degree and that's how he supports his family. But mix that in with Brennan's very rude, smart-alack mouth and it was all I could take. This morning alone I had my head in my hands crying as him and Chad walked out the door to leave because Brennan had already pushed every button I woke up with. And I have been waking up in a fairly decent mood since I've been actually getting some sleep (more on that in a minute.) So I had a few buttons to push. I felt horrible that my child walked out the door for the day and I was too mad and upset to even properly say my good-bye's to him. That's a rule that we never break. I sound like a horrible mother, but I'm really trying to be the best one I can possibly be.
Last week was my check-up at the doctor. Everything is still going well, except for the small meltdown I had in the office. I had gotten to the point that sleep was no longer existent for me. At. All. I was even taking Benadryl at night, falling asleep for 30 minutes to an hour and then I would be wide awake for the next 5 to 6 hours until the alarm went off. It wasn't helping my emotional state by any means. She gladly agreed to write me a prescription for something that was safe to take during pregnancy. But I really hate taking the stuff. If I take it and stay up longer than an hour afterwards, it makes me feel very drunk. Only without the headache and nausea. And then I don't even remember anything the next morning--- if I watched television, read, or had a conversation with Chad. So, I guess I just need to take it, turn off the lights and shut my eyes. As much as I hate the way it makes me feel BEFORE sleep, it allows me to get a good few hours of restful sleep. I still don't sleep all the way through the night, but it is definitely a much needed improvement. And my doctor told me that sleep and rest were vital right now for the health of the baby and me. So I try not to feel guilty taking it.
I guess while I am complaining I should also mention the relentless, never-ending pain in my right side. The same one I've mentioned before and the same one I've been dealing with for over 2 years. The same one that they chalked up to female issues and advised me to go ahead and have a third child and have a hysterectomy. I've become convinced it's not female issues. I don't know what it is. The other things I can try and reason with are chronic appendicitis or maybe an intestinal blockage. I've seen a surgeon and I've had sonograms and consulted with my Ob-gyn repeatedly over it. So, when I have my C-section, there will be a surgeon present (in addition to my Ob-Gyn) to have a look around my insides while I am already open and on display for all the world to see. I am to the point that I am PRAYING that they find something wrong. Not that I want anything to be wrong, but I also want to know that I am not anymore crazy than I already am. There is something wrong and causing pain and I think it has become like Chinese water torture for me. It has slowly started driving me batty. It definitely has contributed to my emotional state of mind. And just for the record, she loves to keep something of hers in that exact spot. I haven't been able to tell if it's her elbow or her knee. But she loves to keep it there and kick or punch.
And there you have it. All my complaints because I am being a negative Nancy. That is who I feel like I have become. But I have 8 weeks (from yesterday) and she will be here hopefully and prayerfully healthy and happy. And hopefully I will feel better and hopefully one of the 2 doctors can find what is causing my pain that is now 2 years and 4 months going strong and not improving.
So I guess if any of you read this all the way through, first I should say thank you for listening to me vent. And cry. I realize you have better things to do and I realize, too, that there are people with problems and issues WAY bigger than mine. But for right now, all of the above issues are weighing on my emotionally, physically, and mentally. Maybe throw in a prayer for me if you get a chance.









