Voting on 26.......

Well, it's been awhile since I have done any blogging! (A long time for me, anyway!) Things have been just a little crazy as one can imagine and I've been trying to relax as much as possible (although I'm not sure the word "relax" exists in this household) so that I can encourage Mary Grace to stay put until November 7. So far my weekly check-ups have been going great and my doctor told me yesterday she couldn't ask for better health as far as I was concerned. Other than the pain in my side that I have been dealing with.

Moving on. I have been trying so hard to keep my opinions to myself on the subject matter I am about to bring up. Especially with Facebook and seeing so many other people's opinions on the subject, it is so hard to keep my mouth shut. So I decided to come here to my own personal blog where one can choose to read it or not and where I hope no one will try and start some sort of political debate with me over the subject. I am just like every free thinking American with the right to vote and state my opinion openly. But this subject has become a very sore one for me. I am so sickened by American values and how human life even needs to be "defined" these days. Oh, yes, in case you don't know what I'm referring to-- or in case you live under a rock or are from somewhere other than Mississippi-- I am referring to the statewide initiative Amendment 26 that is being voted on in the general election on November 8.

Again, in case you need enlightenment as to what this is, simply put, and I do mean simply, because it is posted on the ballot just as this: "Should the term 'person' be defined to include every human being from the moment of fertilization, cloning, or the functional equivalent thereof?"

That's it. That's EXACTLY what appears on the ballot. There are those who think that this will outlaw birth control. False statement. Proposition 26 does not OUTLAW birth control. It simply just doesn't support it. The only form of "birth control" that it will outlaw is the "morning after" pill. And one thing in 26 that a lot of people are having problems with and have decided to vote "no" on the ballot is because of the rape and incest issue. In my opinion, a child conceived is still a child conceived. Human life is human life. EVERYTHING under the sun is God's creation. E.V.E.R.Y.T.H.I.N.G. How many times does the Son of God state how valuable we are as human beings? God takes care of the birds in the air, so why wouldn't he take care of His own children? The first book, the first chapter of the Bible:

Genesis 1:27

²⁷ So God created mankind in his own image,
in the image of God he created them;
male and female he created them.

I can state my opinion all day on how strongly I feel against voting no. Am I for stem cell research? Absolutely not. Am I for destroying frozen embryos? Nope. I think a lot of people against proposition 26 are afraid of the unknown and what they think this amendment will bring about. From the moment of conception, life begins. There are no "accidents". The God who created this universe with His very hands and breathed life into man knows us before we were even knitted together in the womb. (Jeremiah 1:5) Children are one of the ULTIMATE gifts from God. God treasures our children most of all. He even instructs us to be child-like in our faith.

Matthew 19:14

¹⁴ Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.”

Yes, I've educated myself on this subject. Yes, I believe the pro-choice people are using scare tactics to make this something it just isn't. I can really get on my soapbox here, but I have said enough. And I'm sure there are those who will read this and disagree with everything I've said. I have carried 3 children and am about to give birth to the 3rd. There is NOTHING more miraculous than growing life inside the womb, just as God intended, and bringing that life into this world. Before this baby even had limbs or defined facial features, she had a heartbeat. A heartbeat. The ultimate sign of life in a human being. You can educate yourself if you need to:

www.voteyeson26.net

Pictures and Prayers.....

These are a few pics from my shower that my coworkers/boss threw for me. It was so much fun and I got some great stuff!

It says Daddy's Girl. So cute!

This is a bear that says the bedtime prayer.

My boss's first grandchild. This is Ava. She is 6 months old and so cute!

Elaine, John, and Paula (from left to right)
Janet, Betta, and Elaine (from left to right)

This is a group picture from last Saturday in Birmingham. A group of us from church went to a Mom's conference at the Sheraton. It was a great conference, but as relaxing as it was, it totally wore me out and I had an emotional meltdown the next day at home. I was only gone 24 hours, but you would have thought I had been gone for a week.

Tomorrow I have a baby shower and I am SO excited. My Sunday school class is throwing the shower for me. Tuesday I went and had a mani-pedi done and had my nails on my feet and hands painted pink just for the occasion. Afterwards we have a friend taking some belly pictures-- since this is my LAST pregnancy (yes, ladies and gentlemen, you read that here) and our only girl, I know I will regret not having any belly pictures. We are going to make it a family affair and have the boys and Chad included.

There's a lot going on and I am down to 5 weeks (on Monday it will be 5 weeks). I don't think I've ever been more ready for anything in all my life.

My doctor had suggested delivering 2 weeks early because of my pain, but unless mine or the baby's health is in jeopardy, I am willing myself to make it until my due date. I know I will regret it if I give into having her early. I really want her to share a birthday with my grandfather.

And on another subject: There are so many people that I know of that are hurting, sick, scared, or in pain. I hope that these people don't mind me listing their business, but I know that they would appreciate any and all prayers you can offer. (Listed in no particular order)

#1. Dawn Davis-- battling breast cancer (and this is not her first battle). They found it in her spine and she is currently undergoing treatment for an indefinite period of time. She has a teenage son and a husband-- Matt and John.

#2. The Price family (Monroe and Tonia)--- they have been dealing with sick parents at the same time, on top of trying to deal with the everyday stuff of being parents to 2 teenagers.

#3. The Dykman family-- Matt and his son, Sawyer. Sawyer was born with Prune Belly Syndrome and Matt donated a kidney to his son this week to help with treatment. Prune Belly Syndrome is actually a VERY serious illness. They have been featured on the news about their story and it is just heartbreaking. Here is their blog that you can read: http://thedykmanfamily.blogspot.com/

#4. The Hall family--- most of you remember my blogs in the past about little Xavian. After battling a brain tumor for the first months/years of his life, he is now suffering from seizures. He has a major surgery scheduled in a few weeks to operate on his brain and what they think is causing his seizures. He is only 2 months younger than Ethan (so he is not quite 3) and has been through so much in his short little life. The older he gets, the more difficult it is for him to be treated, just because, as you can imagine, he is THREE. He is more aware of what is happening to him and the pain that is associated with it. Here is his Caring Bridge site where you can read about him:

http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/xavianbecketthall

#5. The Barrentine family--- Shane, Penny, and their two sons, Blake and Drew. Shane is preparing to leave for deployment overseas for an entire year. This is not his first deployment- he has been several times, but it is getting harder on his family with each deployment, as you can imagine. And yesterday Shane's grandfather unexpectedly passed away. This family has also been through a lot more, but I won't share their business by any means. But I know that they would appreciate prayers in the coming days with the death of his grandfather and preparing themselves emotionally for Shane's deployment.

Praying for these people each morning and thinking about all that they are going through really puts things into perspective for me. And I need that. Granted I still get in a bad mood everyday recently and cry over what seems like nothing, but I can at least blame that on my hormones.

I hope these people don't mind me posting their business, but I do know that they covet any and all prayers.

Sad face........

Okay, I am going to forfeit any rights to saying that I am a great parent here. I may even forfeit any rights to say that I'm good PERSON in general right now. Why? Because I feel like I'm at the end of my rope and I'm struggling to tie a knot and hang on.

I realize that there are many, MANY people out there who are not able to have children for whatever reason. And I in no way mean to sound insensitive or hurt anyone. I am grateful for the gift that God has given me by allowing 3 children into conception and so far having healthy pregnancies and children. But, with all due respect to anyone who may find my next statement offensive-- I mean NO disrespect nor do I mean to say something that may really hurt someone, but I am totally over being pregnant. I really am. I know that God has blessed me beyond measure, but I also feel that this pregnancy has been AWFUL and I think (no, I am CONVINCED) that this is God's way of telling me that 3 kids is all I need and can handle. This is coming from someone who 10 years ago wanted FIVE kids. Not only am I an emotional DISASTER 90% of EVERY SINGLE DAY lately, but I am dealing with a few aches and pains that haven't always been there. I realize that conceiving a third child was a choice Chad and I made as a married couple, and I wouldn't trade this pregnancy for anything. But I never, ever, ever want to do it again.

My emotions feel very raw lately and my patience has worn so thin I don't think the word "patience' exists in my vocabulary anymore. It doesn't matter where I am or who I am with--- some days I feel like I want to snap the necks of everyone around me just because they are breathing the same air as me. I have been very difficult to live with (maybe you all should stop and pray for Chad RIGHT NOW). Crying over everything is an understatement. And what I am about to say, I hope none of you take the wrong way. I don't even like my oldest child lately. (YES, I love that boy with all my heart, but I just don't like him lately.) We've sort of been dealing with second grade a little harder than any other grade. He has an EXCELLENT teacher. And we have homework almost every night, vocabulary words and tests, spelling words and tests, and math problems and tests. Brennan has a lot of MY side of the family's genes and he loves to argue. He will NEVER admit to being wrong and he argues relentlessly. He's also VERY smart-mouthed. If you told him the grass was green, he would find a way to try and convince you that the grass was not green and why he thought that. If you tell him to do something and do it now, he argues about having to do it and why he doesn't feel like he should have to get that done right then. Doing homework drags out the bad in all of us at night. If he misspells a word, or reads it wrong in a book, or adds his math problem wrong, instead of simply accepting that he got it wrong he ARGUES about why he is right. Yesterday he had the audacity to tell Chad (and I can't remember his exact wording) that Chad didn't know his math skills very well therefore Brennan was right and Chad was wrong. I. LOST. IT. Right then. Never mind the fact that Chad has a math degree and that's how he supports his family. But mix that in with Brennan's very rude, smart-alack mouth and it was all I could take. This morning alone I had my head in my hands crying as him and Chad walked out the door to leave because Brennan had already pushed every button I woke up with. And I have been waking up in a fairly decent mood since I've been actually getting some sleep (more on that in a minute.) So I had a few buttons to push. I felt horrible that my child walked out the door for the day and I was too mad and upset to even properly say my good-bye's to him. That's a rule that we never break. I sound like a horrible mother, but I'm really trying to be the best one I can possibly be.

Last week was my check-up at the doctor. Everything is still going well, except for the small meltdown I had in the office. I had gotten to the point that sleep was no longer existent for me. At. All. I was even taking Benadryl at night, falling asleep for 30 minutes to an hour and then I would be wide awake for the next 5 to 6 hours until the alarm went off. It wasn't helping my emotional state by any means. She gladly agreed to write me a prescription for something that was safe to take during pregnancy. But I really hate taking the stuff. If I take it and stay up longer than an hour afterwards, it makes me feel very drunk. Only without the headache and nausea. And then I don't even remember anything the next morning--- if I watched television, read, or had a conversation with Chad. So, I guess I just need to take it, turn off the lights and shut my eyes. As much as I hate the way it makes me feel BEFORE sleep, it allows me to get a good few hours of restful sleep. I still don't sleep all the way through the night, but it is definitely a much needed improvement. And my doctor told me that sleep and rest were vital right now for the health of the baby and me. So I try not to feel guilty taking it.

I guess while I am complaining I should also mention the relentless, never-ending pain in my right side. The same one I've mentioned before and the same one I've been dealing with for over 2 years. The same one that they chalked up to female issues and advised me to go ahead and have a third child and have a hysterectomy. I've become convinced it's not female issues. I don't know what it is. The other things I can try and reason with are chronic appendicitis or maybe an intestinal blockage. I've seen a surgeon and I've had sonograms and consulted with my Ob-gyn repeatedly over it. So, when I have my C-section, there will be a surgeon present (in addition to my Ob-Gyn) to have a look around my insides while I am already open and on display for all the world to see. I am to the point that I am PRAYING that they find something wrong. Not that I want anything to be wrong, but I also want to know that I am not anymore crazy than I already am. There is something wrong and causing pain and I think it has become like Chinese water torture for me. It has slowly started driving me batty. It definitely has contributed to my emotional state of mind. And just for the record, she loves to keep something of hers in that exact spot. I haven't been able to tell if it's her elbow or her knee. But she loves to keep it there and kick or punch.

And there you have it. All my complaints because I am being a negative Nancy. That is who I feel like I have become. But I have 8 weeks (from yesterday) and she will be here hopefully and prayerfully healthy and happy. And hopefully I will feel better and hopefully one of the 2 doctors can find what is causing my pain that is now 2 years and 4 months going strong and not improving.

So I guess if any of you read this all the way through, first I should say thank you for listening to me vent. And cry. I realize you have better things to do and I realize, too, that there are people with problems and issues WAY bigger than mine. But for right now, all of the above issues are weighing on my emotionally, physically, and mentally. Maybe throw in a prayer for me if you get a chance.

Ethan's 3rd birthday...

Ethan's 3rd birthday party was this weekend. It was just a small family affair. (I can't handle too much stress in my life these days.) I can't believe my baby is 3 years old!!! Time has flown by ridiculously fast!!!

The theme was sort of a "Bubble Guppies"/underwater theme. One of Ethan's favorite shows is a new show on Nick Jr. called "Bubble Guppies". A friend made his cake and she did a fabulous job. She also made his football cake last year for his Ole Miss birthday.

The punch. (Made to look like the ocean-- wish I could REALLY be at the ocean for a few days!)

Ethan's custom made "Bubble Guppies" shirt that I found on eBay for $13 WITH free shipping!!!

Playing with his new "Thomas the Train" trainset. He LOVES this thing! As a matter of fact, he left his own party early to go to his room by himself (he's just a little like his mother) and play with his new toy in peace and quiet.

Chad's grandmother and Ethan. She's 88 years old and looks and gets around better than I do!

Brennan and his Cub Scout uniform. Can't believe how big he is getting!!!! Someone please stop time!!!!

New and Improved and Easely Amused.....

After SIX. LONG. YEARS., Chad and I finally had the money to get (much needed) new flooring in our house. We got a good deal, found some beautiful wood flooring, and within a week, our house was transformed. Of course, everyone knows how home improvement goes: It is ALWAYS a work in progress. Like laundry-- once you think it's done, you find something else that needs tending to. Putting down new floors meant a new rug, which then meant new throw pillows. I would love to have new furniture, but Chad and I have had the same couch and chair for 6 years and it has held up SO well. I also love my blue. You can literally hose our furniture down with soap and water and clean up spills so easily that it almost seems too good to be true. But with 2 boys and another child on the way, I will gladly stick to our furniture that has been so good to us.

Anyway, the above picture (I am posting with SHAME) is our before. Ridiculous. And ugly. And I didn't realize how ugly until we made our improvements. I have more before, but I'm too embarrassed to post them.

This is after. Love, love, love my new wool rug. Purchased from Overstock.com for a shamelessly ridiculous low price.

Up close-- the blue in the rug isn't as bold as I thought it would be, but it still matches really well.

Oh, and let's not forget our new wood flooring.

Our dining room. That is our dining room table folded down. It seats up to 8 and has 6 chairs that we keep in a closet until we need to use them. It was handed down from Chad's grandparents and he won't let anyone even look at it the wrong way, much less breathe around it. When we have dinner or holidays at our house, you should see the amount of padding we have to put underneath the tablecloth we use. I love the table and am grateful we have something so special, but sometimes I wish we had a simple table from Miskelly's and be done with it.

The above are our new pillows. Just as Chad is picky about his table, I am picky about my pillows. I have lectured my family about these being for DECORATION only. I don't want anyone laying on them or sitting on them. It freaks me out. I know, I need to get over that, but it's always bugged me when people use throw pillows for their butt cushions. Don't do that!!!! Anywhere. Please.

This is why my house has to remain childproof (and dogproof). I have enjoyed being able to fix up my house a little over time and gettting it updated, but too many nice or fragile things only leads to disaster around here.

Last night my friends, Kelly and Kim, and me went to Easely Amused. So much fun. We painted something called "A New Day". My hand cramped up from being so tense, but overall, I was not too ashamed of my painting. I did it in colors to match our living room and actually plan on putting it on an easel next to our fireplace.

Before we got down and dirty.

After. Our finished masterpieces.

If you struggle.........

Funny thing about being a grown-up. When I was little, all I could think about was being an adult and having all that adulthood had to offer (I suppose we were all this way). Then once you become an adult, you realize adulthood definitely has a lot to offer--- including adult sized problems and issues. Sometimes we wish we could revert to our childhood and appreciate it for all that it was. Those of us who had decent childhoods anyway. I have seen the struggles of so many acquaintances and close friends recently and over the past few years. The older I get, the more sensitive I become to others around me and the struggles they face. A lot of times I can sense that someone is struggling without them ever saying a word (the gift of discernment is sometimes a burden to me-- I confess-- my mother is gifted with that as well.) This week is a perfect example of what I am talking about.

I have a few people that have been laid on my heart, either by request, or simply because they are struggling with things from health issues to personal battles that rage within them. This post will be short and sweet simply because I am about to get to the point: Whether or not we have the gift of discernment, if God lays something or someone on your heart (and sometimes you have to listen to the faintest hints He gives you), then you cannot ignore them. Even if it includes the passing thought of someone you don't interact with on a daily basis. I promise, He will not leave you alone about it when the need for prayer is urgent. (And sometimes this includes praying for enemies, which I still struggle with on almost a daily basis.)

Yesterday I posted Galatians 6:2 on my Facebook page. Then last night I accidentally deleted an email from someone-- and I needed that email. So, I emailed this person to say that I hit a wrong button and needed the information again. This person took it as no coincidence that I had erased an email by accident, because then they felt led to open up and share that they were struggling with something and needed a fellow believer to pray for them. They told me it was no accident I had erased that email.... otherwise they never would have felt led to share a struggle and ask me to pray-- quite simply because this person is a very private person who doesn't always openly share personal battles. So because of my somehow hitting the wrong button, it led to a very personal request to be prayed for. Don't ever underestimate the power of prayer, and be bold enough to confess your struggles with someone you know and trust, and with someone who is a fellow believer. It is the law of Christ and instructed in the Word.

James 5:16

¹⁶ Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.

Galatians 6:2

² Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.

God's provisions.... Continued.....

Well, I tried to load some pictures on my blog this morning of our new wood floors. But, not surprisingly, Blogger is not wanting to cooperate this morning. Guess it's too early.

Moving on.......it's as good a time to share as any other that once again God has provided for us..... in the meantime, our patience was tested and so were our finances. (God knows I still need a lot of patience. He might be working on me and my patience until I meet Him at the Pearly Gates.)

After our blowout/flat tire last weekend, it became evident that it wasn't just a matter of getting our tire repaired and moving on. It is NEVER that simple in the Miller household. EVER. A week later we were still trying to get someone to repair our tire. We took it to the place from where the tires were bought, because it's was no charge to repair tires if you bought them at this place. Well, first trip and over an hour later, the NEW employee (who I was about to put my trust in with my tires) still didn't know the difference from his...... okay..... well, I won't say what I'm thinking. It's not nice. Needless to say, Chad and I both left the store after wasting our night, with no patience left and two wild boys that I was about ready to sell on eBay. And we still had the spare on our van. Oh, I forgot to mention, we still had a broken lug nut on this tire, too.

Two days later, Chad takes the van back to this place, deals with a different employee, swipes his debit card to buy a new set of tires (YES, a whole new set..... seemingly this brand of tires is so good that the tread stays strong while the rest of the tire dry rots after years of use--- who knew?). We had basically been riding around on tires that still looked almost new, but all four of them were ready for a blowout at any given time. Nice. Anyway, long story short, an hour or so later, Chad calls me on the phone and the way he spoke is a way that I don't hear from him very often..... Oh boy. This can't be good. Again, our tires couldn't be replaced at this place, so Chad had to go through an act of Congress to get his money back and leave AGAIN with the spare still on the van. (Chad told me I would have been proud of him--- he told them exactly what he thought and it wasn't all sugar coated. I asked him if he felt better for letting them know how he really felt.... he said no. Whatever. It always makes me feel better to tell it like it is.)

Okay, where the heck am I going with this?! Chad then to our van to a REAL tire place who dealt with TIRES and small auto repairs. A place we thoroughly trust. We were already put out with having to buy a $500 set of tires and it was going to cost us a little more from this place. But, you can't put a price on trust or safety. Then Chad got a call about something else on our van. I mean, REALLY?! It was our friggin' brakes. I don't know much about car parts or any of that, but basically, in this dumb female terms-- the back brakes were in such bad shape that the back tires/wheels couldn't even be put back on the van because brake fluid had been leaking where it wasn't supposed to--- in other words, they told us, it wouldn't have been much longer before we pushed the brakes and nothing would have happened. Comforting.

Well, it ended up costing a lot more. We ended up going from what we thought would be a simple tire repair to a whole new set of tires and a whole new set of brakes. See? I guess that's why it's called LIFE. But, the moral of the story: God took care of us in more ways than one. As frustrated and impatient as Chad and I both became after dealing with a place who didn't know the difference from their..... (okay, I'll stop again-- not nice). But the original store would not have been able to replace the lug nut NOR would they have found the brake problem. So instead (while our patience was being tested) God led us to another place that saw a major problem and was able to take care of it. And while it cost us WAAAAY more than we had ever anticipated, it was really quite humorous in the end. Because, Chad's place of employment does their employee bonuses at the end of summer instead of the end of the year. Chad and I had been waiting SIX. LONG. YEARS. to get wood floors put in in our house. We had planned on using the bonus for our floors and putting the rest in savings for Christmas and any emergencies we may have. Well, this emergency emerged before it could even make it to our savings account. But, it's certainly not coincidental that it occurred at the exact time that we had a little extra jingle in our pockets. And if you have read my blogs for any length of time, this isn't the first time God has provided in a tight spot when we still had a little extra to our names. One other time that stands out is over a year ago when we had to have our hot water heater replaced. We had the EXACT amount--- almost to the EXACT dollar--- that we needed to have it replaced. Coincident? Nope. Of course, we have been able to see God's humor AND faithfulness in it all. Of course, my bean counter husband is worried about Christmas now. ME? I have no worries. God is always going to provide. ALWAYS.

And by the way, God's provisions don't always have to do with finances. He provides in EVERY way. Remember the opened notebook I found titled "Heaven" on the day my grandfather passed away? Sometimes His provisions aren't always evident to our naked eyes. Sometimes they are a whisper. Sometimes you have to look for them with an open heart. But regardless, He is always there making provisions for you and staying faithful to you--- as long as you will openly put your trust in Him. Let Him show you. I wonder if anyone else has a story to share?