Happy Father's Day!

Had a good Father's Day with the family. Hope everyone else did, too.

P.S. Don't ask me how this music got on the slideshow..... Can't go back and edit it...so, enjoy! :-)

Got Faith?

So in the midst of these rising gas prices and outrageous grocery store receipts I'm beginning to think I'll never see the light at the end of the tunnel. This morning as I was getting dressed and getting ready to run a few errands, I got a little overwhelmed with things. Chad and I have a lot we need to do and a short cash flow to do it with. I'm more intimidated with this pregnancy than I was the first one. I guess because I went in to the first pregnancy totally blind. I didn't know the true cost of "an extra mouth to feed." Now I do. I'm thinking about diapers, and health insurance, and formula --if for some reason I'm not able to nurse.... I'm thinking hospital bills and MORE diapers.

See, here's the thing. Chad and I have been through a lot in our marriage. In six short years. You name it, we've been there. Literally. We've always come out the other side better and stronger than before. But when it comes to our finances, we've always scraped by. It's always been a paycheck to paycheck struggle. Even when I worked full time. We've never been behind on bills. We've never been a day late or a dollar short for the things we NEED. But then, that's it. I'm not a very materialistic person, nor do I like a lot of "things". Don't get me wrong-- I like nice things, but not in a materialistic way. I don't know if that makes sense.... I just want room to breathe. If our Toyota Camry with 180,000 miles on it gives out, I want enough on the side to be able to replace it with a used car. I don't want a car payment. We couldn't afford a car payment even if we needed a new car. When we thought our air conditioning unit in the house was going to need major repairs (which we're still not sure of) I wanted enough on the side to pay cash for any repairs. I can't stand the thought of going into debt over things we should have enough for. My husband's student loans are enough for a lifetime. (Or in our case HALF a lifetime).

From the moment we married Chad and I have always given 10% off the top of our income for tithe. Which is one reason I believe we stay out of financial trouble. God has alway, ALWAYS provided. We quit tithing last year when I started my new job and it was a huge mistake. It was amazing the difference in that one year of not giving. And there's a huge difference in giving from your heart and giving just because you feel like it's one of those things you have to do. One day Chad and I hope to be able to give more than 10% of what we earn. But right now, it's so so tempting to quit giving again. I sometimes catch myself thinking how many diapers that would buy. Or how much money we could have if we just stuck that in our savings twice a month. And that's not where my heart truly is. I think God knows that. It's just my human nature and being a little selfish. And feeling sorry for myself-- like thinking how come everyone else can afford a family vacation every year? Or how come they can afford a new minivan? Or how come they have such a big house?

But, I also realize that others have their faith tested in different ways than we do. I have 3 friends right now that are having trouble either conceiving or have miscarried. I have been very blessed with being able to have children. We weren't even really trying when we got pregnant, which reinforces my thoughts that God has a plan for us and we are going to be taken care of. We also have a big, happy family on my side and Chad's side and we all live in the same city. Every holiday or special occasion we are always together. Both families. We are blessed in every aspect of life. So I have no room to complain, right?

So anyway as I was still drying my tears on the way to WalMart this morning, I was just thinking and praying and realizing I have nothing to cry about. God has never let us go hungry or homeless or car-less. Somehow, even when things are at the lowest of the low and we have no money left for groceries, we still manage to scrape up something to cook. And both of our cars have been running fine. And as I was trying to be thankful at that moment and remember the blessings I have in my life, a car pulled out in front of me on the highway. The tag read: GotFaith. That wasn't a coincidence. But, for me it needed a big question mark at the end. Like all of those Got Milk? ads. I think I do. I try to tell myself I do. I try to encourage my husband by saying I do, because I want him to have faith and confidence. One day at the end of the month I would like to have $5 left over. I'll start out small. Just being happy with $5 at the end of the month.

But whatever reason we are being tested in our faith, one day I hope to use my learned lessons to help someone else. There are fellow church members who are trying to scrape and earn money to go to Nicaragua this year for a medical mission trip. It cost almost $2,000 to go. They are looking for sponsors. I would like to be able to sponsor someone like that one of these days. I want them to find enough money to go.

But, even if I can't see it, I know in my heart there is a light at the end of the tunnel. There is. It may take awhile to get there, but it's up ahead somewhere. We are still going to manage to get by, and we are still going to have a roof over our head. A nice roof over our head. One that I am very thankful for.

Mommy Meltdown

Today was just one of those days when I should have just rolled back over and gone to sleep when I had the chance. A chance to start the day just one more time. But no, I decided to hop out of bed and start this beautiful day early. For no reason. It's not like I had much to do. Until my son woke up and peeked his "sweet" little face around the corner.

I always love seeing his face first thing in the morning. (No really, I do. No sarcasm.) His big, sleepy eyes, and him walking in the living room in his Spiderman boxers. (Yes, there is such a thing as real boxers for four year olds apparently. I did not know this until recently.) So as he walks over to where I am catching up on the daily news on the couch, I said my usual "Hey, Sweet Pea" and gave him a kiss and then said, "I love you." His response? "I don't love you right now. I want my daddy. Where is Daddy?" Okay, fine. He'll be over that attitude after he eats breakfast and watches a few minutes of the Disney Channel. Okay, well that didn't happen, either. Apparently he should have done the same thing I wasn't smart enough to do. Roll over, go back to sleep, and start over.

About 9:45 I decided to let him go play in his brand new "Typhoon Lagoon" pool. You parents all know the drill. One of those inflatable pain in the ****** that isn't even worth a second glance in the store, but gee, wouldn't the little ones have so much fun on it! Yeah, right. This inflatable pain in the *** turned out to be just that. A real pain. So remember, I started this whole charade at 9:45. I remember that because Frasier was on. And I love Frasier. So anyhow, any parent knows that a day outside in the kiddie pool doesn't just consist of going outside. There's a bathing suit to find, a towel to find, and "Mama, I need something to drink", and let's not forget the sunscreen.

Which brings me to my next bad moment. When my child got his little burn Saturday, Chad and I tried to put some aloe on the couple of places that were red. First we tried Aloe with Lidocaine. You know, the stuff that is used for NUMBING pain. Apparently this had the opposite effect on my child. He screamed his head off. Fine, I don't like putting stuff on my burns, either so I can't really blame him. Next we tried just good ol', plain aloe. Again, this had some sort of traumatic effect on Brennan. He just kept screaming about how bad it burned. Well, as I went to put some sunblock on him this morning, before the pool incident, (which I'll get to in a minute) he started screaming and crying. It took me a minute to figure out that he was obviously having some sort of flashback to Saturday night thinking I was about to torture him with this "medicine". Then he decided he didn't want to go swimming at all. If he had to put that on, then he would NOT go outside and swim. So then I told him we had to take the pool back to the store if he didn't swim in it. That just brought on more crying. So, I did what all parents do in these situations, when one more outburst will cause them to lose their sanity: I called the other parent. The one equally responsible for bringing them into this world. Since he wanted his daddy he could HAVE his daddy. So, we have our little talk with daddy and all is calm again. Until I grabbed the bottle of sunblock. Finally I just poured some in my hand ready to just make him cry through the "torturous" episode. Instead before I could reach him he had taken off running and crying through the house. I chased him around the living room, around the dining room table, until I finally caught him. I just slathered it on him. Finally, he calmed down enough to realize there was no pain involved whatsoever. Well, consider that crisis over.

Which brings me to the pool. This pool is too complicated to explain, but according to the box, it's for ages 5 to 12. And, according to the box, it's a "waterpark in your own backyard". Well, $30 doesn't buy what I would consider a great waterpark. Duh. Within minutes of turning the water on (it has some sort of arch that goes over the pool with water squirting out in all directions) the whole thing fell apart. To make an even longer story short, I finally rigged the stupid thing to halfway work (and it involved a laundry basket and a mop bucket), and by that time, it was now 11:05 (remember what time I started this whole shenanigan) and I was dripping from head to toe and mad as heck to boot. I almost lost my religion over this stupid thing and had visions of attacking the pool with an icepick. I'm sure my neighbors now think I am the loud, unkempt, crazy lady who likes to sets a bad example for her son because words were flying out of my mouth that I didn't even know existed in my vocabulary. Well, at 11:15 my child was through with the pool. Yes, through. The fun was over. Who can blame him, though? An hour of entertainment from his crazy mother was all he could stand. He just capped it off with a nice dip in the pool.

Well, I was emotionally drained after my psychotic episode with the pool when Brennan decided he wanted to watch a DVD in the living room. Well, our DVD player has been acting up and the whole ordeal consisted of having to call Chad at work, becoming dazed and confused over the 300 remote controls we have to operate any and all machinery, and having another crying spell. Oh, and basically Chad and I hanging up on each other. (One day I WILL have my body back to myself. One day soon. I keep reminding myself and those around me of that.) I finally get the stupid thing to work and sit down and have a breather when my phone rings.

It has my work number on the caller ID, so of course I feel I must answer it. Well, there is a small wedding shower taking place Thursday night involving the females at work and my bosses daughter who also happens to be a very good friend of mine. It's been planned for quite awhile and it's just really a casual gathering at a local restaurant that I thought would be convenient centrally for everyone since we (my coworkers and I, and the guest of honor) all live so spread out. Apparently, after a last minute discussion at work today others wanted a change in location. So they called to ask if it would be alright with me. Well, childish as I may seem, I had just had a really bad day, and I did not want to hear this. But, I tried to remain calm and friendly and told them I would call the bride-to-be and okay it with her. But, in my head I am reasoning with myself, and it really works to an advantage for me. I had really been studying the menu at Sal and Mookies (where we were going) trying to figure out if I wanted to order off the dessert menu or the pizza menuu. Now I will not have to worry about paying for a meal for myself because I don't particularly care for the food where we are going, so that saves me about $10 or so. And I can't partake in happy hour either, so that takes another $10 off my bill. So, hey, chips and water. Whatever. Just as long as Marie has a good time and gets lots of good presents. That's what it's all about, right?

So, now I'm off to karate. Well, Brennan is anyway. I'm almost afraid to get in the car and go anywhere......

What a night!

There's nothing like waking up at 1:00 a.m. to a screaming child. Not that I was sleeping soundly anyway. That's something my body has forgotten how to do. But, from the way my child was screaming, I jumped up like the house was on fire and as I rounded the corner to his room, the smell almost knocked me down. The joys of being a parent... he had gotten sick in his bed. A lot. He had been to play at his cousin's house yesterday afternoon while Chad and I went to Burlington to look at baby furniture. They played on one of those jumbo water slides that she had gotten a couple of years ago for her birthday. I had slathered him with sunscreen and took all the necessary precautions, but apparently, it wasn't enough. He got a little burned. Not bad. Just a little. As a matter of fact, it is almost completely gone this morning. But, that didn't help with his sickness. We had to bathe him when he woke up and every time the water hit his skin he screamed bloody murder. It almost made ME cry. But, I guess the sickness came from playing too hard in the sun and probably inhaling too much water.

So, we stripped everything and threw it in the washing machine. Including his favorite blankies that he can't sleep without, and then we had to hunt down a clean paci. (Hey, I know he's four, but don't knock it until you've been there, done that.) So as his blankies were washing and drying we all camped out in the living room and put in his one of his favorite movies, "Lady and the Tramp". By the time that was over he had his clean, fresh blankies and came to bed with me. Chad got kicked to the couch because he was afraid with all three of us in the bed Brennan would kick my stomach in his sleep. So, as I finally closed my eyes to sleep at about 2:30, the baby decided to start his dancing and kicking routine. The only things he was missing were a disco ball and a drink in his hand. Oh, and the music. I tried to relax as much as possible thinking he would feel my relaxation vibes in there, but that didn't work. The more I relaxed, the harder he punched and kicked. It felt like he was lying sideways in there. I guess it's a possibility. Then, he got still. Finally. But, I soon found out he only got still because he got the hiccups. You ever get one of those seemingly never ending twitches in your eye or leg or somewhere else on your body? Yes, try having one in your stomach.

I think I finally dozed off somewhere around 4 a.m. Only to wake up to my alarm at 7:00. Then I was up for good. But, Brennan is feeling better. Just lazing around the house. Hopefully it was just something he ate, or playing too hard and NOT a virus. He never ran fever. But now he's afraid to go back on his cousin's slide because he thinks that the slide had germs that made him feel bad and get sick. Hopefully he will overcome that. What a great way to start the summer......

I am so mad!

This morning I went to get my haircut. Well, I heard on the news last night that gas prices were about to hit a record high and that oil prices were at $139 a barrel. They were recommending filling up gas tanks now before the prices skyrocketed. So as I was at the intersection at Hwy. 49 in Florence, where we have a gas station on each corner, I looked at the prices. BP and Texaco were at $3.71. Across the Highway, the Shell station was 10 cents higher. So, I thought when I came back from my haircut I would fill up at BP or Texaco. (I still had half a tank of gas, I was just trying to get while the gettin' was good). When I drove back to Florence AN HOUR later, BP and Texaco were up 10 cents. An hour later. That should be totally illegal. I think that stations should only change their prices when they get a new shipment of gasoline. That's the way it's always been done before! Fortunately there's a new gas station, a "knock off" brand, and they were at $3.69. I was able to weasel my way in and fill up my half tank, but by the time I left there was a line of people trying to get in and do the same thing as me: Get while the gettin' was good. Something needs to be done. Before too long I won't even be able afford to leave the house. Period.

Brennan started taking karate classes last night. Tonight was his second night. He did so good! I was very impressed. And so far he loves it. He wants to go back. Last night he didn't want to leave. I didn't want him to leave, either. They teach discipline. And listening skills. And obedience. Hm, kinda like dog school. :-) It's probably easier to teach dogs obedience and discipline compared to a bunch of four and five year olds with short attention spans. Anyway. It was the cutest thing ever. I should have taken pictures. The class was about sparring tonight, and Brennan wasn't the least bit intimidated. He put on the head gear and arm gear and kicked and punched like a pro. Makes me proud!

A dog chasing it's tail....

After a seemingly good day at work yesterday I arrived home in a good mood. (Even for a Monday AND after buying a gallon of milk at the Texaco for $4.18). But, like most good things, my good mood was short-lived. The first thing Chad spoke of when I got home was...wait for it... the status of our checking account. On June 2, AFTER payday, it wasn't exactly where we would like it to be....So, after a good cry and no solution to the problem as of yet, I watched one of those really depressing Lifetime movies. Surprisingly, I felt much better after that. It's like reading a book, you realize there is someone out there with much bigger problems than having 10 cents to live off of for the next two weeks. (Okay, I exaggerated a little--- not much, though). Hey, we've still got our health, right?

Then today I woke up, took a look around the house and felt totally overwhelmed. I feel like I am cleaning constantly. If I'm not vacuuming, I'm dusting. If I'm not dusting, I'm cleaning bathrooms. My mother has spoiled me by washing our clothes on the days that I work, so I can't complain in that department. But I opened up the door to what will soon be Baby Ethan's room and didn't even know where to begin. One question: How does a young couple with one child and very little disposable income accumulate so much JUNK?! I worked for almost 2 hours and then I felt like the situation was just getting worse. Plus I can't carry the heavy boxes out to the garage, so boxes were piling up all around me. (I did find an unopened box of Corningware dishes I had NO idea we had! I have needed some new ones! I guess it was a leftover wedding gift from SIX years ago.) *Sigh* I really want to have a garage sale, but I just can't find the energy to do it. And when I have the energy, I don't have the time. Chad cleaned out the playroom this past weekend. It's much better, but it's a small room, and Brennan took care of the neatness after one day. And the sad thing? He doesn't even play in there. But, he obviously messes it up.... I know, I should chill out and be thankful for these toys I have to walk around constantly because one day they won't be there anymore. But it's awfully hard. Plus it doesn't help with all these hormones I'm dealing with. I think the correct term for my situation is "nesting".

Well, just felt like venting to blogworld. Now it's time to start supper, put clean sheets on the beds, and other fabulous, never ending things around the house.