To my children....

In a world where kids (and I use that term loosely, since I was one not too long ago) get their kicks from social media, texting, and the Internet.... In a world that day by day chips away at real life conversations and socializing....... I have a few thoughts as a parent. Because even though I was a kid not too long ago, my kids will soon be these kids I am referring to. (Are you still with me?)

These are just some things I want my kids to understand. Because I'm not going to be their friend. I have no desire to be their best friend. I do desire, however, to establish a strong foundation. Rules. Guidelines. Morals. Ethics--school and work. I want my children to come to me not because they see me as a friend, but as a protector. A confidant. Someone they can come to when they have their first broken heart. When they're offered that first ecstasy-inducing drug or beer. When someone bullies them or belittles them. I want them to know that kids do stupid things. They will do stupid things. And that's okay. That's life. Mercy and grace come from our Savior as well as Mom and Dad. But the stupid things they do are always followed by consequences. Some sting. Some are life altering. Make stupid choices as wisely you can, because 30 seconds later your life may not exist as you know it any longer. Kids do stupid things. Some won't even be remembered in 10 years. Others can haunt you forever.

To my kids, whenever we allow you to own a cell phone, you should remember that it is not an extra limb. You were not born with it and you won't be buried with it. It's a means of communication. It's not to take or send dirty or belittling pictures or videos. It's not to surf the Internet looking for trouble. And it's not to socialize. Social media will not be allowed until we as your parents feel you are mature enough to handle it. And if that doesn't happen until you're 18, so be it. And that's not because I want to shelter you. But this world is tough enough. You'll get plenty of life experiences just growing up and being in school. We will monitor any and all texts that are sent and received. If you are allowed social media in this house, your accounts will again be monitored at all times. There will be no stupid duckface pictures in the bathroom mirror, there will be no "these are my niggas" captioned above pictures with your friends. (Which is another thing that makes my blood boil. "Niggas" is NOT a cool word. At. All. Black or white. Do some history.) And monitoring your "socializing" via technology is not to be cruel and evil. It's being your PARENT. Not a wannabe cool friend. It goes back to making sure your morals are in line with a heart who loves others. Not yourself.

Because you see, my sweet children, when your heart puts others first, everything else falls into place. Sure, life is still hard. Teachers are going to inflict cruel and unusual punishment (a.k.a. Homework), chores will still be mandatory, that first "love" will break your heart (that is, after they rip it out of your chest and stomp on it a few times), but believe me--- you'll have more first "loves" and perhaps more broken hearts. But it won't be the end of the world. Maybe for a week or two it will be, but you'll find that life continues on. Even when you feel it can't. But I digress.

Putting others first leaves less room for heartache. Because when you put yourself so high on a pedestal it makes for an awfully painful fall when you're knocked down from it. And believe me, self -centeredness eventually puts you flat on your face. With no one to help you up. And you find out the hard way that life is not all about you.

Kids today are focused too much on themselves. (A.k.a. Duck face pictures in the bathroom mirror). So I guess I could go on and on about what I expect you to be one day. Trust me, I don't expect you to be perfect, get an expensive education at a college you can't afford, and get a high paying career that you wind up hating. I expect you to make mistakes. Do stupid things. (Which, by the way, is not permission to do stupid things). But I expect you to learn and grow from life and all that it throws unmercifully at you. The more you realize that this is a great, big world, and that it doesn't revolve around you, things get easier. Clearer. Life makes more sense.

But if you learn nothing else in the years under my roof, always remember this: it's much harder to fall when you're already on your knees in prayer.