Testing. Testing. Hey guys! Just experimenting with this new blogging from my iPhone. Gee. Who knew I could teach myself such neat tricks? Whoever said you can't teach an old dog new tricks was a dirty little liar! I think I'm getting this technology thing down pat.

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V-Day....

Tomorrow is Valentine's Day. The day when love is in the air, and cupid is ready and waiting with his arrow. Well, it's been a wild, emotional, sort-of-strange weekend.

Chad and I went to a beautiful wedding yesterday. It was a simple, yet GORGEOUS display of love and commitment. There's nothing like a wedding to tug at the heartstrings. I had already been toying with the idea of having some sort of ceremony next year to renew mine and Chad's vows. It will be 10 years next year, and we have been down a long road. Neither of us are who we were 10 years ago, yet we are more in love than we were when we said "I do" 10 years ago. And yet it is a totally different kind of love. A mature love. I am contemplating the idea of a renewing of vows ceremony (any thoughts?)

I was so excited about my gift to Chad and the fact we were cooking out steaks and baked potatoes, and stuffed portabella mushrooms, and something just put me in the mood to go ahead and exchange V-Day gifts. Now, Chad and I have not exchanged V-Day gifts since Brennan came along. But we did this year and we cheated and did it a day early.

I made Chad a cd of songs that meant something to me and that made me think of him and the things we've been through. Let me tell you what the best Valentine's Day present is: playing the music in the kitchen, while we are in the middle of preparing dinner, stopping to dance to an emotional song and having both kids crawl under our feet, while one looks up and says, "Mama.....hold me". That is the best gift of love ever. To know that Chad and I will leave a legacy of sweet boys who will one day (hopefully) grow up to be wonderful, Christ-followers.

There is no gift to top the 10 minutes of our family being in the kitchen, preparing dinner, and listening to love songs.

And on another note...... On this weekend of V-Day, God has really shown up in my family and shown out. I can't share the story, not only because it's too personal, but it would also take me until the next millennium to share all the details, but there was a lot of prayer going on for some things going on in my family. I thought I had the answer to what should be done and how it should be handled, only in less than 24 hours, God proved me wrong. He intervened in an unbelievable supernatural way, and I am left speechless. God is good and God is in control. It doesn't get any simpler than that. Nor does it get any more complicated that that. Thank you, God, for your provision, protection, and guidance........

Random....

To keep from updating my Facebook status every 5 minutes, I will just share some random thoughts that I feel the need to share..... with whom?..... I guess with whomever of you chooses to read...

#1. I started a ticket system with my son at home. I got this idea from his school. Every time he is caught being good at school, his teachers give him a ticket. At the end of the week, he can trade them in for a prize or save them for something big (like eating lunch on the stage.... whatever that means). So, I decided to try it at home. Each ticket is worth a dime. Every time he does something good without being told-- anything from using his manners, to picking up his dirty clothes, he gets a ticket. At the end of the week, he trades them in for cash. Don't judge me. I realize this is a form of bribery, but until you've been in my shoes, you can keep your opinions to yourself. Also, he got a GOOD note sent home from school today. Makes my heart melt when he actually uses the manners and behavior we try and enforce here at home. As a matter of fact, he was SO excited to see my van pull up in the car rider line so he could tell me about his good note.

#2. I LOVE cold winter days. I especially love cold, rainy, winter days. But, I also like it when they are kept to a minimum. I have seen ENOUGH cold and rainy days. It's starting to mess with my head and my energy....

#3. I got an email today from Mark Brashier, which is our team leader when we go to Nicaragua. It was information about the village we would be traveling to this year and it was just general info about the trip and getting money to him and our applications. I became VERY weepy reading it. As all of you know, we are trying to have a baby this year. So far we have been unsuccessful and now I am torn with wanting to go to Nicaragua. I really thought I would be okay emotionally, and I realize that if I can't go this year, there are other opportunities later. But, initially accepting the reality that I will probably not get to go this year hit home today and has made me very sad. Of course, some of it can probably be blamed on this FABULOUS (not) weather!

#4. I have gained that lovely winter flab around my waistline. I love to eat. I'm sure we can all say that. But, once my jeans quit fitting, and my fat jeans came back out of the closet (the one's I haven't worn since I gave birth to Brennan), I decided it's time to direct my attention to water instead of food. I am currently on my 4th bottle of water today. (For all you "go green" people, I just keep refilling the same water bottle I started the day with). Yesterday I did the same. That says a lot because I HATE water. Now let's hope I can keep it up.

#5. I watched a documentary on Nancy Reagan last night. Wow. She was a classy lady. It really makes me sad that chances of a president like Ronald Reagan ever running this country again are very slim. Now, the perfect president would be a combination of George W. and Ronald Reagan. I can't even look at Obama's face on television for 5 seconds. He makes my stomach turn. (Just thought I'd throw that in.)

#6. Totally loved the half-time show last night. I thought Fergie was Fergi-licious (does anyone remember watching her on Kid's Incorporated on the Disney channel in the 80's?) The best part was when Slash made an appearance. Great performance, for what my opinion is worth.

#7. Just saw a story on the news about an identity theft ring in Jackson. This makes my blood pressure go up. It sounds exactly like what happened to me, and I would like to slap the stupid out of those people. These people work SO hard to get something that doesn't belong to them-- why can't they get a REAL job and put those work "ethics" to use?!

#8. Can someone explain to me how my 2 year old knows how to work my iPhone?

Enough random thoughts for today................

Babalu...........

Tonight was my brother's last night in town before he flew back to Cherry Point. So my family decided to go out and have some good eating! There are SO many great places locally that are great to eat and I had a hard time choosing (because my brother couldn't make up his mind!) Someone had posted on Facebook about a new restaurant called "Babalu's" in Fondren.

Oh my. I am in love!!! They have "I Love Lucy" playing continuously in the middle of the restaurant. The entire back wall is made up of shelves that house wine bottle after wine bottle. (I'm pretty sure they were empty.) It was a cute, yet hip little place. The food was not too expensive, and they don't give you so much that you stuff yourself until you're miserable. I also ordered the guacamole (after the recommendation of my friend and Brennan's teacher, Meade Davis) and they made it table side and it was DELICIOUS. Even Ethan (my picky 2 year old) loved it!

Anyway, at the risk of being cheesy, I took some pics (without the flash) since we were sitting in the corner before the crowd. We got there at 5 and were seated right away. About 30 minutes later, the place was full, and by the time we left at 6:30, there were people waiting to be seated. Two thumbs up!!!!

MiMi and Brennan

Melissa and me (notice the wall behind me)

AyAyAy!!! Love me some Ricky Ricardo!

Ethan being sweet.

Brennan eating his chicken and cheese quesadilla.

One of my yummy tacos.

Ethan and me.

Great restaurant, great food, and great atmosphere!!!! I can't wait to go back.

Birthday festivities!

Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Chaaaad, happy birthday to you!!!

So after much anticipation, we celebrated Chad's birthday tonight. It was sort of a disappointment, but I have no right to complain. It just didn't go as I had planned. Our plans were to take Chad out for a yummy steak dinner with both of our families and have some cake, and let him open his gifts. Instead we went from steak dinner to pigs-in-a-blanket and opening gifts in our pajamas.

It was a big deal to me because Chad and I haven't been able to afford nice birthday gifts in years---well, let me rephrase that---since we've had children. This year I decided to get him something nice and original (thanks, Mrs. Davis!!!)

Brennan's teacher is a very talented artist. I asked her a month ago to paint some sort of Ole Miss painting with Colonel Reb for Chad's office. She did a beautiful job and I was SO excited about Chad's gift. Which brings me to something else that didn't go as planned....

I had been keeping my big mouth shut for WEEKS! And trust me, it was so hard! I was so excited about Chad's gift-- and he will be gone for his real birthday, so I wanted to celebrate BEFORE he left because I just couldn't hold it in any longer. So, as I was cleaning the kitchen after dinner, Brennan comes running up to Chad and says, "Daddy, when are we going to open presents??? Mrs. Davis painted you a picture, but I can't tell you what it is!!!" As soon as he said that, I looked over at Brennan with a dazed look and BURST into tears! Brennan had no idea what he had done wrong, so then he said, "Daddy, why is Mama crying?! I didn't tell you what your painting was. I just said it was a picture Mrs. Davis had painted."

Then my son could not let it go. Chad kept trying to get him to shush because the more Brennan talked, the more I cried--- and Chad knew how excited I was about his gift.

I knew I couldn't let it ruin Chad's birthday celebration, so I had to take a timeout and call one person I knew would understand: My mama!!!! I cried my eyes out to her, and as always, she calmed me down and I went back in the living room with my family and put on a happy face.

So goes our birthday celebration. Ice and sleet ruined the festivities and my son ruined the surprise. But, we still had a great night and I guess it makes a good story. At least, I hope it does someday........

So much for sharing the cake with all of our family....

Singing "Happy Birthday" to daddy.

I love the picture of them blowing out the candles....

Celebrating in our jammies!

Time to open presents.

Love this picture. It says "MILLER". You may have to look closely.

Now on to the best surprise.

Priceless.

He LOVED it.

With his two masterpieces! Thank you, Meade Davis!!!!

A Warning: TMI alert.....

Have I ever mentioned before that God has a sense of humor? I'm pretty sure I have, but just in case you didn't catch it the first 100 times I've said it, I'll say it again: God has a sense of humor. At least, that's how I like to look at it when something doesn't go as planned (or how I think it should go) and then things always work out for better in the end.

So goes our baby-making story. Still unsuccessful after 4 months. And I know what you're thinking. Four months and you're already worried about it? Well, seeing as how our first 2 kids came along before we even realized what happened, 4 months is a long time. Which is why I say God has a sense of humor. Chad and I both thought once again, bada-bing, bada-bam, here comes baby. WRONG. But I feel confident that God is trying to teach us something here. However I'm not sure if it's patience, pain tolerance, or just learning to trust in God over something we thought we had total control over.

Once Chad and I decided to start trying after my doctor's strong recommendation, we both thought to ourselves and each other, "We've got this!" Each month that comes and goes with no positive pregnancy test is one month that is painful, emotional, and debilitating for one or two days. And I don't mean because we are so emotional and racked with pain over not being pregnant, but my endometriosis totally takes center stage and takes over for days.... a couple of them being days that I can't even leave the house. A day like today, which with the weather like it is, it only seems fitting. I can handle EMOTIONALLY each month that passes with no baby in sight, but physically my body is giving me hell. I know female problems are mostly kept private, but if anyone has ever had to deal with the physical pain of something like endometriosis, it's hard to keep quiet. It can wear you down month after month. Literally everything between my knees and my neck hurt excruciatingly bad. Yes, even my KNEES hurt. Don't ask me why.

When I had surgery to remove my endometriosis almost 5 years ago, I was told it was temporary. There is no cure expect for pregnancy (which endometriosis can cause severe infertility issues) or a hysterectomy. It seems 5 years post-op and 2 years post-baby, it has come back with a vengeance and a point to make some days unbearable.

However, if this is my only problem, I am blessed beyond measure. I am just learning to refocus my emotions and concern away from a selfish standpoint, to directing it towards the only One who has control over my situation. I'm not sure why I decided to share this on my blog, other than to vent and deal with the fact that God has a plan and purpose. Pregnant or not, He knows what we are ready for and what we're not ready for. He knows the plans for our life and I don't. Furthermore, we already have 2 beautiful, healthy boys who we love more than anything in this world.

On a side note, I have told Chad that if infertility has already set in and made a permanent home, then I want us to start praying about adoption. I've mentioned before that my heart longs to adopt a child who would not otherwise have a chance in this world. Chad doesn't feel as strongly as I do about adoption, and he may never feel strongly. But God can soften hearts over things like that, so I have asked Chad to pray about it. Well, I guess, stay tuned for the rest of the story....

Thanks for "listening".