Life and advice...

When did I come to the point in life that my worries are now more than what I'm having for dinner tonight? Or when am I going to study for that test next next? When did my worries become more than who I'm going out with this weekend? It happened when I became a parent.

I was struggling really hard this morning. Actually, I've been struggling the past few days. I started questioning God and His infinite wisdom. I started wondering why God allows things to happen in life to people who don't deserve things, when there is so much unpunished evil in this world. I've lost sleep the past several nights struggling with my thoughts and being angry at God. I could not, for any reason, figure out why God does the things He does, and leaves a trail of heartache behind. I tried consulting God in prayer, and I even tried finding a verse of comfort in my Bible. Nothing would give me peace.

Fortunately, I have a wonderful childhood friend who God has blessed with words of wisdom and comfort. It's her gift. She's not in the ministry, but she definitely should be. She's probably one of the most wise earthly people I've known. I knew that God could speak through her to me. That may sound a little far fetched to some, but just as God speaks through ministers and others, my friend has this gift. I consulted with her on that wonderful new "necessity" of life called Facebook. Just as I logged in this morning she had just received the message I sent her earlier. We I.M'ed each other and, just as I thought, I received some comfort over my thoughts after I consulted with her.

But, after I "talked" to my friend it amazed me at how much our conversations have changed since we were growing up. There were so many days we would sit on the front porch swing on lazy summer days and talk about boys, and who we thought was cute. We would talk about fashion on the cover of her mom's latest "Cosmopolitan" magazine. Our biggest worries were trying to get our parents to take us to the mall. Or trying to beat that cursed video game. Or what swimsuit we would wear to the water park on Friday. Now the conversations I have with friends are worrying over our children. Worrying about our babies and trying to protect them from all that is wrong in this world. And then we have things that happen that we can't protect them from. We worry about those things that are bigger than us. We all know it could happen to us. It's always in the back of our minds. When we become parents we lose any and all peace of mind. We worry when our kids are small, and we will worry when they grow and start trying to be accepted. We will worry when they get their drivers license and when they go out on their first date. We will worry constantly.

My friend gave me a great quote by C.S. Lewis. It goes like this: "God whispers in our pleasures, speaks in our conscience, and shouts in our pain, it is the megaphone to rouse a deaf world." How true. In my thoughts I struggled with why God allows innocence to hurt. Why babies are abandoned and why babies become sick. Why babies are born with defects and why babies are called to Heaven right after birth. Why undeserving parents have to suffer. It all seems senseless.

Here is how she put into perspective: God, who gave the ultimate sacrifice, is all-knowing and is the ultimate Deliverer. He uses us who are called to believe and follow as an advancement towards His Kingdom. God is so powerful it's hard for us to even begin to wrap our minds around His ways and His thoughts. We weren't designed to know it all. God will stop at nothing for the advancement of His Kingdom. We know His will is always done, and he uses our pain and suffering, and our grounded faith to help deliver others who aren't quite so sure what it's all about. For the span of this lifetime on earth families will continue to suffer. There will be heartache. There will be miracles, and there will be homecomings. We can choose to NOT believe how good God is, our we can believe it with every fiber of our being and use it to His advantage. Our God is good. And our circumstances do not define His goodness. His goodness defines our circumstances. He will always sustain us.

Verse for thought: “I would have despaired unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.”
Psalm 27:13