The elevator is broken....

It's done. I've done it. Don't ask me what I'm thinking right now. The only word and emotion I can come up with is SCARED. I applied for my FAFSA (student loans) and I have signed up to take four Saturday classes to get me prepared for the ACT, AND I've signed up to take the ACT. February 7. And that won't be the only day I will be taking it, I feel confident. If at all possible I will be taking it every month from February until September 30, which is the deadline to apply to nursing school for the January 2010 class. Just thinking about it right now my entire body breaks out into a sweat and my legs turn to jello. I think it doesn't help to know that I am putting us farther into student loan debt by doing this, and if something doesn't work out we'll just owe that much MORE money. I have the added pressure of dollar bill signs hanging over my head.

Yesterday I came across this really good quote. It says: "The elevator to success is broken. You must take the stairs. One step at a time." I thought that was very fitting for me. I get very overwhelmed thinking about everything that I am having to do to get something I really want in life. I question if it's really worth it. Is it going to be THAT rewarding when and IF I get through everything? Am I going to be disappointed in myself? I've never finished much in my life. Short of a high school diploma and a marathon, I don't have much else under my belt. I worry about raising two kids, paying bills, and going to school all at once. What if I get accepted into nursing school and I fail? What if.....?

I have to tell myself that I will never know what I'm capable of until I do it. Just jump in and take it one step, one day at a time. I don't think anything will take away the fear though. I haven't been a student in eight years. It's going to be a big adjustment, but I feel like I can do it. But the closer the first day of school gets, the more afraid I become. Am I doing the right thing?