Snapped.....

Here is the chant I have to keep repeating to myself over and over this weekend: "In a few years I will miss these days.....in a few years I will miss these days.....in a few years I will miss these days....."

Yesterday started out FABULOUS. I found out that "The Andy Griffith" show was on ALL day, rain was supposed to be moving in, AND I was getting rid of my husband for the afternoon and evening. (Yes, I know. I sound horrible, but I will take a break when I can get it.)

Here were my plans: Get the major cleaning out of the way as soon as I woke up, send the boys outside to wear themselves out before it rained, and plop myself on the couch with "The Andy Griffith" show, put the boys down for naps (or in Brennan's case quiet time in his room with his toys and television--- and don't judge me for that) and then put them in bed at 8:00 and settle in with my "48 Hours Mystery" on CBS and go to bed myself. I had it all planned out so perfectly. Nothing on my to do list but be LAZY. (And not feel guilty about it.)

Well, to say the least, about a dozen dirty words had come out of my mouth by 10:00 yesterday morning. Again, don't judge me. I don't usually verbalize foul language (even if I may think it) but yesterday, I must confess to all of you (I mean, why not? Jesus already knows) that I was letting my words fly.

I sent the boys to play outside. For starters it was only 100 degrees first thing in the morning, but was supposed to be cooling off with the RAIN that we NEVER got. Well, my mother-in-law always thinks it's a brilliant idea to get my kids toys that are too big for any space in our house. Yes, we have an extra bedroom that we call our "playroom" but, #1. that does not mean it gets used as such, and #2. it is the SAME SIZE as both of the boy's rooms-- in other words, it's not a very big room. So, for Ethan's birthday she gave him this ridiculous play jungle/tent/tunnel. Brennan has been BEGGING us to put it up. But we have not one inch of space to put it. It's not something that sets up easily and not something that you take down easily. And I am way to OCD to stick it somewhere like my living room and have to look at the stupid thing everyday. SO, my genius self decides to put it outside and let them play with it, and then take it down at the end of the day. I will be danged if not 5 minutes after putting that cursed thing up for my SWEET little ANGELS there was hollering and screaming coming from the backyard. They were already fussing and fighting and having meltdowns over it. Not because they couldn't get along, but the thing wouldn't stay up. THEN, my youngest-- the one who can operate my iPhone, got hold of the water hose. The morning just continued downhill from there. The water hose wouldn't have been so bad except it got out of control between Brennan and Ethan.

Of course, now Ethan can open any door that is not locked (and I imagine he could open a LOCKED door if you left him alone long enough) so he would come open the backdoor dripping wet and just stand there staring at me. Sure, why not? The air conditioner runs on LOVE, not MONEY. Let's share our love with all of our neighbors with the backdoor wide open.

My husband decides to get the oil changed in the car and fix the toilet that's only been needing fixing for 6 months, all the while time is ticking away. Then after I decided the jungle gym/stupid toy was a bad idea in the backyard I decided to try and dismantle it. When I couldn't do it, I made Mr. Handyman take over. After about half an hour he was mumbling words I couldn't quite make out and throwing it around the living room. I'm pretty sure I heard the phrase "throw this stupid thing in the garbage is what I'm going to do". Well, that was good for a laugh yesterday morning.

Okay, okay. Without taking you through every waking moment of my day yesterday I will make the rest short: Chad decided at the last minute not to go to Oxford because the weather was so yucky up there (which we got NO yucky weather), and he ruined my couch potato time, my kids each had to have 2 baths, the dog had to have a bath, and my house had to be re-cleaned yesterday evening. My family wore me slap out.

Oh, and a conversation between Ethan and me yesterday:
E: "Mama."
Me: "What?"
E: "Mama"
Me: "What?"
E: "Mama"
Me: " What?"
E: "Mama"
Me: "What?"

This proceeded for quite a few minutes longer until Brennan came busting in the room to inform me of something that I didn't want to hear and I finally said, "I swear to everybody in this house, if I hear one more person call my name today, I'm packing my suitcase and I'm not coming back." Needless to say my name still got called and I'm still here. I'm hanging on to my last shred of sanity, but I'm still here.

Fast forward to church this morning. My kids always bring out the worst in me when we're at church of all places. Chad has different duties that always call me to be like the single mother chasing 2 kids going in 40 different directions. One is talking back and disappearing when I turn my back for a few seconds, the other is hollering and screaming and kicking as I try to pick him up and take him to the car. This morning was the worst. I think several people saw a side of Mandy that only God and Jesus ever see. My preacher turned the corner and caught me threatening my oldest heathen. I was so put out with my kids when I left church I wanted to spin my wheels and burn rubber out of the parking lot. By the time I got home I had a headache from you-know-where and I told my husband that my entire family was treading on thin ice with me and I don't think anyone of them wanted to be the one to break that ice.

As we speak my toddler just woke up from his nap and his having a flat out meltdown in the middle of the floor for no reason other than he wants to hear himself holler and scream. Really???? Will I REALLY miss these days? I need some encouragement here. This Mama is about one nerve from snapping.

Oh, and by the way.... so much for the rain!!! Glad I got my hopes up. Well, I guess I better go tend to this screaming hot mess I call my toddler.....

P.S. Most of you know blogging is my therapy. And it feels good to let that go and be gut-honest. Hallelujah.