It's Good Friday....

Last night our church had a version of "The Lord's Living Supper". There were no professional actors, no dramatic special effects, and nothing else over-the-top. It was just a simple reenactment of what the Bible records as Jesus' final night with his disciples and the final night in prayer at the Garden of Gethsemane. I was really excited about Brennan being able to see it and to be able to try to explain that it was the story of Jesus the night before he was to be sentenced to die.

Brennan is at the age he is becoming very curious. He loves to listen to Bible stories and he loves to have his nighttime devotion with his Daddy every night. He gets excited about it. Brennan knows and accepts the fact that Jesus was nailed to a cross for everyone and all of their sins. I just don't think he understands the rest of the story. He knows Jesus rose on the 3rd day and went to Heaven, but of course, Brennan doesn't fully understand the concept of asking Jesus in his heart to come live with him forever yet. I don't want to rush it, because I want him to FULLY understand what happens when Jesus comes to live with you forever. A personal relationship must exist. Not just a prayer and a baptism.

As we celebrate Easter this year, I am truly at peace like I have never been before. It's taken a long time, but God has finally really gotten hold of me and gotten my attention like never before. I've done some serious sinning in my life and in turn, have had some serious consequences. And it would be dishonest of me to say that I don't struggle with certain emotions and thoughts from time to time. I'm still human. I struggle more than I would like to admit. But, some really profound things have happened in the past few years for me, and God has really changed my heart.

I have always accepted there was a God in Heaven. A being bigger than me. I have always accepted that there was a man named Jesus who walked this earth and was punished for things far greater than he deserved. However, my life did not support what I had grown up knowing in my heart. But, the short of it is that I now have a true peace in my life and a true understanding in my life about what it really means to "have Jesus in my heart". You can believe something all you want, but until you put those beliefs into action, you might as well be living a lie. I know I was for a very long time. It's only by God's grace that things played out the way they did when they did--before it was too late for me. I know that God has had a plan for me all along. But, he also gave me free will.

I look at my children and know there is no love like the kind of love you have for your own children. And I know that my children will disappoint me, hurt me, and break my heart at some point. But regardless of what my children are ever capable of doing, I know without a doubt that my love for them will never change or ever be compromised. Knowing that, I can compare that to the way God feels for us. Although, I know God's love for us is even stronger than the love of a parent to their children. Regardless of ANYTHING any of us could ever do, God still sits unchanging on His throne of grace and mercy and waits. And when He waits, He does so with arms wide open and merciful. God's plan has been in place since the beginning of time. He sent a man of Himself that loved us so much, He asked for our forgiveness as He was nailed to a tree, spit at, mocked, beaten, and crushed. I love my children. I would die for my children. But nothing can ever compare to what kind of love was sent down from Heaven to wipe my slate clean. Even BEFORE I messed up, my debt was already paid. The only thing that is ever asked of us, is if we can accept the plan and the Man that paid the ultimate price.